Call me greedy, but I am mad.

Here is a link of what etiquette says who should pay for what so with that in mind I don't think anyone would be greedy asking for help.

http://ourmarriage.com/html/who_pays_for_what.html

Not one time during the last six months has FFIL or FMIL asked how planning was going. the only time FSIL asked for anything was when money was due in her account to cover the vet bill for our cat & she lived with us the last 6 months rent free Yea I am pretty hurt by the entire situation but I've made it almost 6 full months without snapping at them, only 13 more days.. and if that side of the family says one remark about my wedding, my reception, my cake... ANYTHING WEDDING, they will be escorted off of the property.

I wouldn't have even been nice and offered for my FS to go cause um hell no. There is no way he is going to one of my favorite places without me. Now if they had mentioned Alaska then I would have been like, Have Fun!! I don't do cold well But there is no way in hell he'd go on a family vacation without me specially when we wouldn't be having a honeymoon and he'd know better than to even bring it up cause he would be a D-E-A-D Man.

Yeah, I gotta say, you can't expect anyone to help pay for your wedding.... that said, their reasons for not helping with yours are just downright weird.... FS should definitely decline the "family vacation" as you will then be his "family." Your FS should definitely take his mom aside and explain that she needs to be dressed appropriately for your wedding. This is YOUR DAY!!! You don't get a do-over, it should be as you want it to be!! So if it means you or FS have to have a talk with the folks, do it!!! Good luck sweetie! I hope it all works out and it's everything you've dreamed of! You deserve nothing less!

He knows that I want to go to FL and go to Disney but we can't afford it. So it was insulting to me that his Dad offered for HIM to go. Oh, and his Dad's reasoning was because his Mom wants to see it before she dies and he wants to grant her one last wish, wth... she is likke 62, still works 40 hrs a week and pays 90% of their bills because he isa tight ass and can't help with jackshit around the house.. she can barely walk because her knees and legs are so bad and she works at an assisted living community living, bathing and dressing people. I used to work wit her, it was hard, stressful and very straining. He wont be going. I won't let it happen, even if I said go. He knows that the way I was talking meant "If you go, I am gonna be soo pissed off at you ..." HAHA.

I believe he is talking to her later today. He was almost in tears telling the best man tonight that his mom was working and would be in her uniform. Our best man, a man that knows very little about weddings, was outright pissed off and was just irrate which was sort of funny because thats just not him. For so long we thought things we're OK and then boom ... 2 weeks before the wedding, his family is screwing around.

It sounds like they don't want the marriage to happen. Its like time to sabotage the wedding.

Psh, if thats the case I'll have my Dad "politely" escort them to their vehicles.. I mean, he is security at the venue. LMAO.

What a way to meet the parents....lol

Well they already think lowly of me for getting married in a "Bar"... it's not a FREAKING BAR it's a reception hall damnit. LOL. Oh well, my wedding MY RULES MY WAYS. I'd hate to have to escort anyone out in my gown because believe me, I WILL :-)

I was seriously waiting for that, Luta. LMAO.

You sound like me. Whenever I get overly stresses or upset about wedding stuff, I just focus on this mental image of jumping over our sweetheart table to parch up and deck someone in the face. Just because the idea of beating the crap out of someone in my wedding dress cracks me the hell up. Always makes me feel better. =0)

Hmmm...for some reason I can't see luta's post.

It's a music video for Redneck Woman by Gretchen Wilson.

I see....I have the song somewhere....I think I have seen the video too...thanks.

Three things are wrong here:

1) His mother should respect his wedding day and take the day off

2) His parents should NOT be punishing you for the failure of his sister's marriage.

3) His father should NOT be inviting him without inviting you.

Forget the money aspect....I know it is hard not to project the "well they're so well off and they won't pay for me" but it sort of invalidates the three above justified concerns. Money may be tight for the wedding....but all the above three things will have lasting consequences that will linger far after the wedding. Print all these responses out, give it to your FH to read, and tell him if he's mature enough to marry it's time for him to stand up for you because he has a new set of responsibilities. Dear Amber's FH: the RIGHT thing to do is decline the invite, tell your mother how you feel about her working on your wedding day, and let them know that your marriage is NOT your sister's marriage so stop punishing you for her mistakes.

My DS was a real momma's boy who took care of everything for his mother. His dad pretty much left him the man of the house at the age of 2, started him working at the age of 6. He was to support his mother and take care of all her needs until she dies because that is how his dad wants it. He and I had been in love for 9 years without ever sharing with eachother that whole time; then, when our feelings were revealed to one another--he wasn't about to let that chance go. He managed to find a better job with health benefits-for him is a big issue, and he was able to buy a house. We wanted to marry and the whole time, his dad kept putting the guilt trip on that his mom is home alone...blah blah blah. When it came down to it, he told his dad--I know you don't support the marriage, so you don't need to be present to celebrate and be fake about it. Wished he would have done that with his mom, in any case, your FH may have to do the same, demand sincere respect for both of you!

I didn't read every single post but going on what you originally wrote I would be upset that they are taking him to Disneyworld/Disneyland and not you. Why not you, you would have just gotten married and you are part of the family now and so I think it is only right that they invite you as well and frankly if my family didn't invite my spouse I wouldn't go.

I understand how you feel. I would feel the same way. If they want to take their son to Disney and not his new wife let him say no. If my parents pulled that on me I'd be tempted to say, "I need to spend time with my new spouse. We aren't able to get off work because we had to pay for everything for our wedding ourselves. Maybe we could have gone if my sister hadn't gotten divorced."