BYOB Reception

@OP: your solution sounds fair, not having BYOB is the best choice, I doubt anyone will be upset since I'm sure most of your guests know the struggle youve had. Good luck either way!

BYOB is poor hosting. Dry would be a better option, if alcohol is not in your budget.

Me and FH are both in recovery. We are doing beer and wine. Take a look at your guest look again, after I factored out friends in recovery, and children, we only need to supply alcohol for like half my guests. It made the budget portion of it easier to accept.

I'm sorry, alcohol is not a requirement to host a party or a wedding! If it is that important to your FMIL, I'm sure she would be happy to pitch in Or I'm sure those closest to you will understand if you have a dry wedding. Congratulations on your Sobriety and Wedding

No don't do this. I understand you're in recovery but you need to host your guests properly..neither I or my FH drink at all but we will still be providing alcohol. At the very least provide a red and a white wine. You have a while to save so you should be able to make something possible. If not, having a dry wedding would be *more* acceptable then BYOB.

I'm in recovery also. My plan is to do one bar none alcoholic - maybe a smoothie/ juice bar, and then one bar that will serve alcoholic beverages. This is so no one accidentally ends up with alcohol.

Since you're having a backyard wedding, I really don't think it would cost very much to have beer and wine. Not sure of the guest list but I know that basically all of my friends are sober. It's my fh's family that will be doing the drinking. I would take a look at an approximate number of who will be drinking and try to accommodate them.

For the record, I don't think byob is tacky. Being in recovery I totally understand. I would not think twice if I heard this from someone I know.

OP I completely respect your recovery and congrats on getting here!!! A year from now, you may have different feelings about it. For me, personally, I would say table the idea for a while and come back to it at a later time.

Of note, my FH just celebrated NINE years!! I'm super proud of him. In the beginning of our planning, we considered a cash bar as it's not something he thought was "good form" for him (to provide alcohol when he's sober, he felt like a hypocrite). However after comparing it to hosting a get together at home, where we would provide alcohol, he finally got it and we are going to do beer and wine. I convinced him that there is no guilt in doing this, we aren't enabling anyone else, and he's certainly not a hypocrite for wanting to provide a great celebration for our loved ones.

Don't BYOB but I don't think a dry wedding is that bad either. I've been to a few and they were fine, if not my personal style: I attend to support the couple, not get drunk (although I immediately went to a bar after the last one). I certainly don't think it's rude when it reflects the lifestyles of the bride and groom. I've also been to a wedding with lower end beer (don't think there was wine) and honestly it was fine.

Chivy isn't even serving soda at her wedding, so she's bound to jump on the "BYOB Express" (there's an idea for you Chivy -- let your guests BYOB Coca Cola!). In fact, her attitude towards her guests is, as evidenced in a HUGE thread: "I guess I have to have this 'Welcome to Us' party for you guys, including the cheater husbands who wants to bring their girlfriends instead of their wives -- but it's still a party I don't want to have." That's where she's coming from. If ever "take it from the source" was relevant...well, you get it.

OP, you already admitted it isn't about your recovery, so there's no point in other posters telling you that you need support that you've already found in yourself.

BYOB is tacky (and somehow makes me think of fake IDs). You don't want to do it -- I promise.

Congrats on your sobriety !!!

I thought part of recovery was being able to be around alcohol without actually drinking it? Perhaps I am misunderstanding that part. (Not being snarky. )

We're buying beer and wine spending about $260 on it. I'm telling people if they don't like beer or wine to bring their own. I don't drink beer or wine so I'll be sure to have my fireball and cream soda!

My fiance n i are providing 1 bottle of each of our favorite hard alcohol, and 2 kegs..the rest is byob. Im having a backyard reception. Do what you need to do for your own sobriety.

Sara, why did you have to go necromancer style and bring this thread back from the dead, just to give terrible advice?

Where is it terrible? Because its not really about getting fucked up and drunk at a wedding. That's What you do at parties..a wedding/reception is about celebrating 2 people coming together. Im not an alcoholic sorry. Grow up a lil.

The RECEPTION is a thank you to your guests....not a tailgate party where you ask them to bring their own drinks. That's absolutely laughable.

Sara, it is incredibly poor hosting to expect for your guests to buy alcohol for your wedding.

It's amazing to me how many people don't know or understand the actual definition of an "alcoholic". Sara should probably pick up a dictionary.

Im not asking, as i said i will be providing some. But if they are not in favor to what i provide they have the option to bring something they may want to drink. Or they dont have to drink at all.

And let me guess, you're not having a bartender, either, to monitor your guests, right?