Bringing new baby to bridal shower

I don't think it's rude to stand firm to your adults-only rule, it's just not a rule I would personally make. However, if you do make a point of sticking to that rule and those moms leave their new babies at home and come to the shower anyway, you can probably expect that there will be some chatter among them and other guests about it, and that might be more distracting and disrespectful than having to share a little attention with some cute babies.

I hardly think the shower will turn into a Baby Festival. I think that is a bit extreme to say its disrespectful and rude. Especially if the babies are part of the family.

I also think it is extreme to call it disrespectful. I've never been to a bridal shower where the focus is 100 percent on the bride the entire time. People mingle and talk and move around and the bride hangs out and talks to various guests. Having 1 or 6 babies there shouldn't change that. I know bridal showers sometimes include lingerie etc, but I've also never seen them as adult only events. If the OP wants it to be a completely childfree event then the host will just have to suck it up and (as I said before), politely let the cousin now.

I am on the opposite side of many. I would tell her no. She can be away from the baby for a few hours.

In my opinion, it would be rude for her to bring her child. But, that's just my opinion. :-)

Can someone explain to me why babies get a free pass? If you have an adult only function why is the onus on the host to suck it up and say the baby can come instead of parent's understanding that having kids means you can not go to everything. And if you have, say, 15 guests, at a baby shower and 6 of them bring babies, you are going to end up with a babyfest.

The whole point I am trying to drive home here is breastfeeding moms don't get a free pass to every adult only event, nor should they. If the host wants to accomodate then great. If they don't, they are doing nothing wrong and the parents can miss the event.

My son was breastfeeding at 2 months. Pumping can also create nipple confusion. So if that is something she wants to avoid she may not want to pump. I also had not been away from my son until he was 7 months old. It was a personal decision. I know I wouldn't be coming if my child wasn't aloud. If you don't want any infants coming let the parents know and it will be their choice if they come or not. Just don't get offended if they do not show.

Personally while I totally get adult only weddings I really don't see the need for adult only showers. To me at a shower even if the kid cries or something they can just be taken outside and there's no risk that they will mess up your ceremony or anything. But at the end of the day it's not my event so it's not my call. It just means that likely moms with small babies won't come. I do think if you allow one and not the others I think you are setting yourself up for several irritated moms.

Is the baby really that big of a deal? I hate it when people complain about a woman bringing such a young child to functions like this. If she's breastfeeding, leaving the baby for that long can really tank her supply. It isn't like its the wedding where you're going to be saying your vows, it's a shower. Let it go.

Jeleebeenz, I don't think anyone is saying she HAS to allow babies, just that it's nice to do so. This can vary a lot by social circle also; I've never been to a bridal shower where babies weren't allowed. But I've also never been to an adults only wedding, whereas I know from being on here that they're not uncommon in other circles. It's just a different perspective because the default can vary among groups.

I do not think it is a big deal to have a baby at the shower. Like someone else said, he or she will probably sleep through the whole thing anyway and you won't even notice.

At the end of the day, your shower and its up to you.

I don't think I've ever been to a shower that was specifically adults only, just in some groups there didn't happen to be any kids at that time. I have, however, been to a number of adult only weddings. To me one is just much more formal than the other (or at least can be, I've never heard of a black tie shower for example) and also having kids at a wedding has the potential to cause more problems than at a shower.

Yes, I do think it's rude to assume anyone that is not listed on any invitation is invited to the event. I would have your mom call her to straighten out the logistics. Simply have her explain that this is a no-children affair, and if she is unable to attend, that she will be missed. Babies do not belong at showers, IMO. But as I and other posters have said, the baby is only two months. Please be understanding that she may not be able to leave the child for long and she may decline the invite.

ETA: at my cousin's recent baby shower, my other cousin's 1.5 year old was there and he was screeching the whole entire time and giving everyone a huge headache.

If you want to have an adults-only bridal shower, go for it. It's not a rule I would have imposed, and personally, I think it's a little bratty of you to want all the attention (do you really think people aren't going to ask her about the baby, to see photos, and so on anyway?). I also think you're assuming she'd let everyone hold the baby. I'm due with my first this fall, and I can tell you that there's no way I'd let a crowd of people do that. At two months, a baby's immune system is still quite weak. I wouldn't even bring my newborn to an event like this.

Regardless of what you decide to do, just be prepared for your cousin not to show. I don't think you have a right to impose a no-newborn rule and then get angry at her for not showing up. I'm not saying that you would, I'm just saying don't be surprised if this is how it turns out.

ETA that newborns shouldn't impact your guest count, so that's a mute point.

I think it's odd that you're worried about competing with a newborn for attention. People are going to this event for you and giving you a gift so that isn't enough? I understand some of you points but it's really silly to think you want everyone to be fawning over you the whole time.

I had my shower today and my friend brought her baby, who ended up being the star. She was cute and we all enjoyed holding her.

This is actually an interesting thread for me to read. I am very anti-baby in my own life (like I've never even held one, don't want one, etc), and so I have no idea with what comes when you leave behind a 2 month old. My naive little brain has learned so much lol.

Also, @Rachel, the term is "moot point"