Bringing new baby to bridal shower

Is a 2 month old counted in the guest count? Most people I know are holding or wearing them at that age. I guess it's your call to make, but I wouldn't expect someone to leave their 2 month old to come. If it was a bachelorette party I can see it being inappropriate, but not for a bridal shower. Is that just me?

2 months is so young. She is unlikely to come without her.... so you need to decide what you want

I would assume babies are not counting in the guest count, but they do take up room/seats when they are in that carrier thing. I just don't know where the cutoff age would be. The other new mom guests all have babies under 6 months as well. I'm not a mom so I don't really know what the rules are for this but I assume moms leave their babies for 2-4 hours at some point. I mean I have a bunch of colleagues that have had their 6 week maternity leave and then went back to work.

I agree with @wwlaura. How many guests have actual infants or new borns? Toddlers and children I can see but a 2 month old should not affect the guest count or room in the venue. Is it worth not having this guest coming over having the 2 month old?

In total there are 6 guests with infants.... To be honest I don't really want 6 infants at my shower. But I think it's rude to have 1 and not the others.

It's rude to assume, but I also think it's usually best to err on the side of letting newborns come to events that moms are going to since so many nurse. It's really up to you whether you want to go with having it more distraction free or easier for guests to come.

Is she breast feeding? Are the others that aren't bringing their children breastfeeding? It something to take into consideration. It's sweet that she wants to be there.

I had sorta this same dilemma with my wedding. I'm having an adults only wedding but a couple of my friends are prego right now and will have a brand new baby by the time my wedding comes around. I was sad that they might not be able to come but it was a matter of seating and then if I let one kiddo come I have to let them all. I think it's up to you since its your shower but a shower is small enough for them to leave early with the baby if they get fussy but still enjoy the party.

I have no idea if she or the others are breastfeeding... i didn't realize that makes a big difference. I know my coworkers with infants just pump on the days they work.

Rude? uhh... No. Its a 2 month old. She's family. I would probably just let this go.

If you reach out and tell her she can't bring her NEWBORN baby, I would expect that she probably won't be at the shower.

I wouldn't really consider her family since she's not close with my fiancé.... But if we don't say anything then the other 5 new moms are probably going to get their feelings hurt that they couldn't bring their new babies. It's an awkward situation. If she wasn't comfortable with leaving her baby with her husband for a few hours she should have just declined. I totally would have understood.

I personally wouldn't want to bring my 2 month old around so many people anyway. The sounds, noises and excitement may be too much for such a small child. And like you said, if one comes, then they all have to come. I would just tell her you will see her at the wedding unlessss she plans on bringing the child their as well.

1. I don't think it's "rude" to assume I can bring my 2 month old to a bridal shower. The wedding would be different. If I was a guest and was told upfront that the shower was adults only, I may have been able to make arrangements. However, at 2 months, I was still exclusively breastfeeding both of my girls so unless I was told otherwise, they came with me everywhere.

2. I agree with WWLaura I really wouldn't consider a 2month old a "guest." It's not like a 2 YEAR old that will be running around potentially trashing things.

1.)I agree with Hammie. I didn't exclusively breastfeed with my kids, so I could give them a bottle and leave them with a sitter for a few when I went to work/events. However, if this baby is ECB, there is probably no way the mom can leave her.

2.) Babies that age spend most of their time sleeping anyways.

If Baby is being breastfed, Baby nay need to travel with his or her mother because boobs. Not all breastfed babies will take a bottle.

I would honestly expect it. A few infants at a bridal shower for a couple of hours won't hurt.

@mjp16 I get where you're coming from. I don't think it's out bounds to have your mother call and ask if it's possible to leave the infant at home, explaining that the shower is planned as adults only and the same has been asked of other recent moms. She might just be excited to show off her baby at a family gathering.

I also don't think the mother was being rude to think she could bring the baby, and she did let you know via the rsvp at least.

It's an awkward situation for sure, let us know what you decide.

I also don't think the others would complain about how unfair it is that they couldn't bring their infants. At that point they're at the shower enjoying the event. As a mother of an infant I'd probably jusy assume there was some extenuating circumstances where that mother needed to bring her baby along and forget about it.

I think you should call her and let her know the baby can't come and here is why:

I breastfed 3 of my kids. Exclusively for quite some time. When you have babies you have to make decisions when it comes to events you are invited to. If you are breastfeeding exclusively and you are invited to a baby shower without your baby, you decline and send a gift if you are so inclined.

In all the years I have been on wedding forums I have never understood exactly how newborns become this exclusive class of must be allowed to come guest. They are not. When you have kids you will have many times when you don't get to attend adult only events if you can't leave your child behind. It is part of choosing to have children. I missed many many adult events because of my choice to breastfeed. Comes with the territory.

There are times when a host may say it is fine to bring a breastfed newborn to an adults only event. It is also FINE to say you are having an adult only event and that just won't work out. I think there is a massive amount of entitlement in saying you must invite a new mother with her baby if she is exclusively breastfeeding. You don't have to and it isn't rude.

I do think it is rude for new moms to assume that their baby is welcome everywhere when an adult party is going on. You made a choice to have a child (like I did), to exclusively breastfeed (like I did) and you are going to miss out on adult only events (like I did). The rest of the world does not have to change how they host because you had a kid.

OP, if you want to call her and gently explain it is an adult only event and baby is not welcome, it is fine. If you feel you need to, you can tell her that 5 other moms are leaving their babies home because it is an adult only shower. If she balks you can just tell her you would love to catch up with her another time for lunch.

Good luck, and again, this is not rude.

@jeleebeenz THANK YOU! That's exactly how I feel! But I feel like such a monster for wanting to tell her she can't bring her baby.