Merly
Beginner December 2016

Bridesmaids standing VS sitting?

Merly , on January 29, 2016 at 10:26 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice

I'm trying to figure out if I want to have my girls (2) sitting during the ceremony or standing next to me. I'm kinda OCD so I don't know after standing for a while they will be fidgeting or not. I like the idea of them sitting as well because the whole focus is on the groom and bride. Thought? What are you guys doing?

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20 Comments

  • Jeanne
    Master August 2015
    Jeanne ·

    How long is the ceremony? Traditionally the bridal party stands. Trust me, no one is going to be distracted from the bride and groom, it's a wedding that's who they came to see.

    Edit: we had a Catholic ceremony so the bridal party sat during the readings but stood with us during the vows.

  • WWKatie
    Master January 2016
    WWKatie ·

    Where is your ceremony taking place? How long is it?

  • Becoming a Mrs
    Master July 2016
    Becoming a Mrs ·

    If it's a mass I would have them sit. The last wedding I was in we sat bc it was mass. My ceremony however is not a mass it will be 20 mins approx. so they will be standing.

  • TheFormerFMDF
    Master February 2016
    TheFormerFMDF ·

    I will be having mine stand, however, I will be leaving a seat open in the front for one as she'll be nearly 8 months pregnant.

  • FutureMrsBrbr
    Master September 2016
    FutureMrsBrbr ·

    Mine will be standing but it is going to be about a 20 minute ceremony.

  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie Online ·

    Traditionally the bridesmaids stand, unless it is a catholic ceremony. I agree with PPs that it will depend on how long your ceremony is!

    Ultimately it's totally your choice. Also - is your ceremony inside or outside? Twice as a bridesmaid I've been looking straight into the sun, and despite my best attempts to make sure I was smiling the whole time the photography still caught a picture or two of me squinting

  • Princess Consuela
    Master November 2015
    Princess Consuela ·

    Mine sat, Catholic ceremony.

  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·

    Merly- if its a long catholic ceremony sitting would be best, as others have said.

    If its 30 minutes long, your friends should be able to stand still and not fidget. Unless they are under 10.

  • C
    Devoted July 2016
    Carrie R. ·

    We're heavily leaning toward having all of our people sit (not a Catholic ceremony -- just outdoors and probably 20 minutes long total). The idea is to have them process and then sit in the first row on either side of the aisle so they can watch the ceremony, too. All the times I've been a bridesmaid, I've stared at the back of someone's head. That's fine and all, but the bridal party consists of all of our brothers and sisters, and we think they might rather see our faces than the back of our heads. Then if they don't feel like fake paying attention to the ceremony, they can at least stare into space from the comfort of a seat.

  • Rachel
    Dedicated July 2016
    Rachel ·

    @SequinTableRunner, that's what I'm thinking! I'm a wedding musician and I hate being on the side where I can't see the bride or groom's face. I also can't hear the vows as well when I am on the side. I'm thinking that if I were a bridesmaid, I'd rather have the best view/sound quality.

  • Celia Milton
    March 2019
    Celia Milton ·

    I've only had one or two bridal parties sit; my ceremonies are generally 20 minutes long. (and of course, very pregnant women or elderly attendants should have that option...)

    Honestly, I don't get the idea of even having a bridal party if they're not standing with you. (Except in a long ceremony, like an orthodox one....). Why even have them?

  • K
    Super October 2016
    kphmitten ·

    If it's a long ceremony, let them sit. If it's only 10-30 minutes long, let them stand. I suppose you can also always ask them "hey, can you stand this long and not fidget?"

  • Arielle
    Expert November 2016
    Arielle ·

    I was just in a Jewish wedding as a bridesmaid and the entire bridal party sat - this was because the bride's father is not in good health, and needed to sit, so the groom's parents decided to sit as well, and then it just turned into everyone gets to sit. Not sure what I will have at our wedding yet - as a bridesmaid, I loved that she gave us chairs, but I also know that it isn't traditional at all.

  • C
    Devoted July 2016
    Carrie R. ·

    @Celia Is "standing" such a literal term?

  • Z
    Master May 2012
    Zoe ·

    Wow-- I've never gotten to sit as a bridal attendant! What a blessing that would be! If the fidgeting is going to bug you, definitely let them sit-- think how much you fidget just waiting five minutes in line at the grocery store, and now we're talking about 'short ceremonies' being 20 minutes!

  • Macy
    Super September 2016
    Macy ·

    I'd let them sit if you prefer it. I hate standing up as a bridesmaid. Ceremonies are boring, and after about five minutes I start to fidget. As far as making sure people focus on you the entire ceremony, well I'm not sure there's anything you can do about that. Everyone will definitely watch you walk down the aisle. I tend to stop paying attention after that until the vows.

  • Merly
    Beginner December 2016
    Merly ·

    Ceremony should be less than an hour, outdoors.

  • M
    Master December 2014
    Melissa ·

    I had mine sit. I only wanted the officiant, DH and I standing at the altar.

  • Merly
    Beginner December 2016
    Merly ·

    It won't be a Catholic ceremony, just a civil ceremony.

  • A
    Just Said Yes March 2017
    Arielle ·

    My wedding will only be about 20 minutes or so, but i'm letting my MOH and bridesmaid sit. The best man and groomsman will also sit. It's an extremely intimate wedding, where all the guests are family and we thought it would be best to not have them standing there. All that "ceremony" isn't necessary to us because of the intimacy and setting for our wedding. Also, it's an outdoor, early afternoon wedding and it's better if everyone is comfortable.

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