BRIDESMAIDS...or not.

I think in a lot of areas, the bridal party sits in the front row of the ceremony rather than standing up with the bride and groom during the ceremony. Not sure where you're at (assuming somewhere mountainous!) but you could just leave it as-is and let them know they can wear the dress they're most comfortable in and let them walk down the aisle (if they want to) and then just let them sit in the front row with their spouses/SO's.

ETA: I attended a wedding last year where the bride had 10 "honorary bridesmaids" (she called them "ladies in green" on her program) and they all wore the same green dress, but they didn't stand with her and I don't believe they walked down the aisle.

Plus...one of the bridesmaids...I'm close to her but not extremely. She actually gets on my nerves quite a bit. And I feel I should have asked my other friend who I'm just as close to instead. I'm worried this other friend will wonder why she wasn't picked. Ugh. I guess I jumped the boat on asking too soon. I was just excited.

Why would you ask someone if they get on your nerves?

I wouldn't do this. Asking someone to be a bridesmaid is a big deal. If you ask someone, you should honor it. Going back on it is like the waiter telling you they have chocolate cake and so you order it. Then he comes out 5 minutes later to say they actually don't have any.

They don't have to stand with you. Just have them in the second row behind your family.

I don't think it's a very good idea to ask them to be your bridesmaids and then change your mind.. Although I do understand where you're coming from, so depending on how close you are, maybe talk to them about it? My fiancé and I chose to not having a wedding party and we don't regret it one bit, we're getting married next June.

I think you'll need to talk to them about you and their expectations. Since you already asked them, I can see this easily turning into hurt feelings. You are talking like walking down the aisle and standing with you would be a burden on them. In Catholic (and other) weddings, they don't stand with you, but maybe they'll WANT to walk down the aisle.

I also don't really understand why you would term them "honorary bridesmaids." Isn't a bridesmaid a guest of honor? Honorary bridesmaid sounds kind of demeaning like they are less than bridesmaids. I think they could totally rock this look though.

@Original -

I know.

So, if they sit in the 2nd row, do they still walk down the aisle?

@OP - they would still walk down the aisle. What does your FH think? Theoretically he'd be asking groomsmen. Having his guys stand up beside him might be important to him, which you should respect.

Part of me feels guilty for not asking my other friend who I'm just as close to. Or my younger cousin who thinks the world of me. I feel like they will have hurt feeling when they find out i didn't ask them. It's like saying you have favorite friends and I don't want it to be that way. Yes, I know I should have thought about this more before I asked.

Why don't you just ask them then? Sides don't have to be even. You only asked 3 people.

I'm not being snarky, but I can't help myself -- the word is "aisle". "Isle" is where Gilligan, the skipper, Maryann, Ginger, the professor, and the Howells are stuck (if you're too young to know what I'm talking about, google the theme song from "Gilligan's Island").

You wrote, "I've asked 3 of my girls to be my bridesmaids. (1 is the MOH)." Now you've had an epiphany that involves asking them to be honorary BMs?

Honorary BMs are women who fulfill the obligations of a BM and then sit in a pew on the wedding day. I wish you'd had that epiphany a few days before you asked these ladies to be your BMs, but you didn't. There is no such thing as an honorary BM. There is a woman who fulfilled the role, but doesn't receive that brief moment in the spotlight that honors her for her help or recognizes her close relationship to the bride.

Too late. You asked them to be BMs. Forget the honorary nonsense which means zip. Find partners for them and let them be what you asked them be -- bridesmaids. Don't bring the honorary nonsense up again unless you want to seriously offend them.

@nicole- because we were wanting to keep it small and intimate.

@centerflowers - I thought I did type "aisle"?? I'm on my phone so maybe it auto-corrected. Sorry that offends you!

When one of my bridesmaids got married, she selected two friends as MOH (maid and matron). We walked down the aisle before her, and one of us took her bouquet and then we were seated in the front row next to her Mom, her brother, and her sister-in-law. At the end of the ceremony, we stood up, gave her her bouquet, straightened her train, and followed the happy couple back down the aisle and sidewalk to their front porch (the wedding was in their backyard, under a canopy).

@TwoGeeksWed -

I think that sounds wonderful!!! Thanks for the great idea.

I think the "honorary bridesmaid" title is more of an insult than an honor.

We didn't have a bridal party. We had friends who volunteered to help a little. We called them "guests" and "friends."

I don't see any way that you can demote your friends without hurting their feelings.

I don't understand the concept of an honorary bridesmaid. You're either a bridesmaid or not. If someone asked me to be an honorary bridesmaid, I'd think I wasn't good enough to be a regular one.

It's like you're just giving out titles randomly. Here - have a title, but you don't have to do anything.

I think they idea of having them sit would work, but still call them bridesmaids and maid of honor. Anything else seems like you are valuing them less.

Thanks for the comments guys. I think I agree that "honorary" kinda sounds rude. I think I will do what was suggested and have them walk down the AISLE (make sure my phone doesn't correct this to "isle" as to not piss off someone) then let them sit up front. I like this idea.

Your incorrect spelling didn't offend me (but I do think every bride should know how to spell aisle before she starts using it on message boards -- sorry). What offended me was knowing that you have already asked these women to be BMs but now you've decided that you and FH belong alone on the mountaintop. So, these women, the worker bees, will have no recognition (unless you print their names in a program). Yes, that's fine. Rescind the invitation, but don't bother expecting them to throw you a shower or bachelorette party. Frankly, it's offensive.