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Expert July 2021

Bridesmaids!! Help is 8-12 too many?! What’s the limit?

Elmarose, on June 16, 2020 at 11:36 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 14
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We have many close and wonderful family and friends, but we are at 12 bridesmaids and 12 groomsmen. We are trying to limit it to 10 or 8 but we don't know if even that is too much.

So what do we do? Can we keep it at 12 and 12 or is that too much?

We have a 300+ wedding guest count. I have a couple siblings and he does as well so they are a part of the bridal party which makes the number much larger.


Latest activity by doris, on September 20, 2020 at 3:33 AM
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    I had 10 bridesmaids and had no issues! But I had zero expectations of them and it was very expensive. So just something to think about.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    There is no limit. It really depends on your expectations of your bridal party and your budget. Keep in mind that 24 bridal party members means 24 gifts, at least 48 rehearsal dinner and wedding guests, and likely more drama if you have too many expectations.

    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    The number is entirely up to you and your partner, and how many people you each feel close to. Your wedding guest count isn't a factor, and there's no reason to have an even number on each side, other than if you each simply have the same number of loved ones to include.

    All of that said, there are many practical and financial reasons to limit your wedding party. Each additional person might add to your total expenditure for flowers, rehearsal dinner food & drink (including dates), wedding day food and drink, gifts, transportation, etc. Each additional person also has the potential to complicate the coordination, communication and planning of everything and everyone.

    And over and above those things to think about, there are all the horror stories on this site about people who included bridal party members who they didn't really want (out of obligation, outside pressure, a desire to use the wedding as a bonding activity, whatever). This so often ends up in unmet expectations, hurt feelings, and needless drama.

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    That's personally a lot to me aha BUT at the same time, i think that's really nice that you have that many close people so i would just go for it

    • Reply
  • T
    Devoted May 2021
    Trinity ·
    • Flag

    Personally, having 12 is a lot to me, but it's nice that you guys have so many close friends. In my personal experience, I was super excited to be asked as BMs. However, as soon as I found out I was one of the seven, I no longer felt special. In your case, you do have 300+ guests, it's up to you. Like many people mentioned, just think about the cost. It costs me about $35 for just the bridesmaids' bouquet. It gets expensive fast.

    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Super September 2019
    Courtney ·
    • Flag
    The number of BMs/GMs is a decision only you and your fiancé can make. Given that you’re having a 300+ person wedding I don’t think a large bridal party would super be out of place. I’ll just second what others have said. Growing the bridal party is an easy way to grow the budget. I’m guessing I probably spent at least $450 per a BM with gifts, bouquets, rehearsal dinner (incl their partner) and so on. If that’s within budget and where you’d like to spend go for it!
    • Reply
  • Alisa
    Devoted October 2021
    Alisa ·
    • Flag
    I agree with the previous. I think 12 is too many and will actually cost way more than you expected with gifts, rehearsal and drama. I only have 4 and had to lower my expectations with all of them. I would make sure you have lower standards for them but make it clear what is expected of them.
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    We had 9 bridesmaids and 10 groomsmen, with zero issue. It cost us more for flowers, rehearsal dinner, presents, bachelor/bachelorette party, etc. but we were prepared for that and budgeted for it. I think every friend group is different. We aren't a high drama group and our friends are all very dependable. We were very organized and gave them plenty of time, and didn't require much so it was easy for everyone to be involved. If I was one of 12 bridesmaids, I'd still feel very special. There isn't a special # of bridesmaids/groomsmen that make me feel special or not, being involved in a wedding at all is always very special for me and my husband. If we did it all over again, we would choose the same 19 people. They all were very involved and very supportive the entire 19 months.

    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    It's totally up to you, but like others have pointed out the more people that you have the more expensive that it will be. Normally, you get each member of your bridal party a gift as a thank you. Also, each member of the bridal party has to attend rehearsal along with their significant other so you'd be spending more for your rehearsal dinner.

    • Reply
  • Julie
    VIP February 2020
    Julie ·
    • Flag
    Holy cow! I'd think that many would be like herding cats (drama and claws included lol)! I had 3 ladies and my brother was my man of honor. Felt great. Then again, we had a more intimate 59 person wedding.

    When is the wedding?
    • Reply
  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
    • Flag

    I think it's fine to have 12 BMs as long as you're okay with the additional costs. Good luck!

    • Reply
  • Amanda
    VIP December 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag

    We are having 8 on each side and it's been somewhat challenging. I would say my ideal would be 4 on each side however, FH had a lot of people he wanted involved.

    • Reply
  • Elmarose
    Expert July 2021
    Elmarose ·
    • Flag

    Thank you all for your advice!

    • Reply
  • doris
    Savvy September 2021
    doris ·
    • Flag
    I had 7 bm but I had to cut one bm out the wedding cause we had drift away so now I have 6 bm and 7 Gm
    • Reply

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