Bridesmaids Have Bailed!!!!

You are DEFINITELY NOT acting like a bridezilla because for one they AGREED to be there for the invitations and flaked except for the one who was there a hour (just appreciate that hour at least she showed up). Secondly them not returning your phone calls is very strange I'm thinking either they don't have the money for their dresses and shoes or they just don't want to be in it. Either way you need to have a conversation with them ASAP and like a pp said before if they don't have them by now they won't have them for your wedding day next month unless you go to a department store or dress shop with something you like on the racks. I don't think you've demanded anything true friends that are supposed to stand behind you on your big day don't cut you off like that so I question if they are true friends. Also as for the shower/bachelorette party, is it required for them to do anything? No absolutely not but REAL FRIENDS would want you to have that experience and share that with you. It can also be a funds issue no one wants to discuss. Try and reach out to them again and if they are close pop up and see what's going on.

To answer your question, I know you are hurt by your friends actions. It sounds like you are a very caring and giving person and that is your nature. However, you should not expect everyone to give back like you. I would not drop my friends, just give them space. Not everyone is as enthused about your wedding as you think. It is not because they don't like you or want to stop being your friend, they may have unresolved feelings about their personal relationships. If you don't hear from your friends in a reasonable time, then I would consider that maybe they don't want to be in your wedding. Circumstances, change. I think it is irresponsible that they have not communicated that to you. If that is the case, ask your mother to be your MOH so that you will have someone by your side who loves and cares for you besides your FH. Alishia, just take a few moments and step away from the situation and stop thinking about it. Aren't you glad you have WW to vent your frustrations, its like having a bunch of friends that you can talk to about every aspect of a wedding. You will find someone who has had a similar situation and will give you some good advise. Just read the comments and use what you can. You are beautiful stay strong!!

I would assume their don't feel like they are being appreciated so rather than causing a confrontation with you, they are just avoiding you. Try communicating differently- instead of asking if they got their dresses yet, send one email that suggests you assume this is taken care of- "Now that you have your dresses, the wedding seems like it is coming faster than ever." This way you are reminding them about their dress without checking in with them like they are children obeying your demands.

I read your comments, and I'm so sorry you're having these problems. I think if you're at the point where you don't want to mend things with your friends, I like that other suggestion of having the men sit down and just you and your FH up at the front for the ceremony.

I guess if it were me, I would try to call each girl and see if everything was ok with them before just kicking them out. If any of them already bought their shoes and dress and just didn't call you then I'd let them stay I suppose. Or have them sit down as well for the ceremony!

Good luck!

I really hope that you guys are ready for this. I called the first bridesmaid and she talked to me for almost a half hour without even brining up my wedding, Called from the new house phone and miraculously got a response… How ironic. Anyway she informed me that the reason that she has not been in touch is because she had to put her twins in gymnastics……. She hasn't been in touch with me for the past 3 months because she had to put her twins in gymnastics, BUT she is flying all over and vacationing (VIA Facebook Post) all over BUT did not have time to call me back in 3 MONTHS because she has enrolled her twins in gymnastics… I CANT DEAL.

You ladies are so right! I am the only one of my friends that are married, yet alone in a relationship so I am going to equate this entire situation to pre-wedding jealousy and keep it moving.

Wow!! Ya know ,what? plan a second "planning event" if they are do not show up...let them go! your wedding is about you and your future hubby, I've been married 20 years as of June 25th and guess who's been there throughout the process?

Me and HIM!

Alishia, I think you are amazing. You are going through Nursing school (which is HARD and STRESSFUL) and planning a wedding at the same time. I don't think I could do that. Not a Bridezilla, not at all.

This is definitely an ugly situation, and my heart goes out to you.

My friend had all bridesmaids who had been friends since KINDERGARTEN (she got married in her early twenties), they did the same things you are describing, rallied for the wedding...and are now no longer on speaking terms. Meaning, the pictures with them in it have been discarded or edited, and the whole thing is just sad and ugly.

If push comes to shove, I've been asked to step into a wedding 1.5 weeks before the actual event. She was a new friend, but a new really close friend... 2 years later, I'm going to ask her to be my maid of honor. I saw you mentioned earlier that you had some new closer friends. If they were planning on coming to the wedding, maybe you can ask them to step in and rush deliver a dress. You want to be surrounded who want to be there for you - if you're experiencing something like this before, you definitely don't want to have to deal with people who aren't enjoying themselves or supporting you on your big day. Good luck!

Wow Alishia, sorry to hear this ... I wouldn't give up on them yet. I know you're stressing big time, but they won't hit that level until 2 weeks before. They will show, and they will have their clothes. And if not, you'll still be married. It will only look bad on them if they flake on you.

I have so much on my plate. I am going to give them an opportunity to show up. Because I'm getting married in the prime of wedding season it will be hell getting a new dress shipped in enough time for alferations. I am going to have those two take as few pictures as possible. I will let my planner and photographer know!!! It has been a conversation about how I will be disguised with my wedding photos because they will be in them and I am confident that we won't be on speaking terms after the wedding.

I communicate through email. My MOH is just now telling me that she has changed her email address 2 months ago and that she has gotten nothing that I have sent her. I am over all of them. Every last one of them.

I hate that you're going through this. I'm going through something similar, and it really just hurts my feelings that they don't want to be by my side and there for me during this exciting time. I hope it gets better for you & congrats on the wedding, it's coming so soon! :-)

I am not having a wedding party, we are having a small family DW. We are having my FH's parents walk down the aisle together, then my parents walk down together, then me and FH walk down together. We are going to have a small "table" or something to hold a vase in which I will place my bouquet,the vows, and the rings. I think it would look weird to have all groomsmen, and I think that a lot of times we can get caught up in planning the wedding. Just make sure you reach out to them to see how they are doing, not just reach out to them for wedding things.

Also I am 21 FH is 20 so I def can relate to being the only ones getting married in your circle of friends.

I am 100% supportive of the small wedding idea. There could be anywhere from 150-250 guest in attendance. I am made in love with my FH. I am starting to feel MISERABLE. Honestly I am just ready to get this thing over with so that I can love on my new husband, get through this nursing program, and advance in our lives with one another. Unless you have a really good supportive group of friends.... A big wedding can be more of a headache than a help.

She cant reach them....I would of been pissed the fudge off...it's only one simple task if they agreed they should do it or from jump street tell her they weren't into that and not even answering the phone that's so rude....you should find some close family members n c what you can do...with friends like that I'd hate to see your enemies

My wedding planner said that I don't have FRIENDS I have Frenemies. Lol

I don't have anything to contribute about bridesmaids - I only ever wanted my sister as MOH and for her to show up on the day.

But with regards to a lopsided bridal party - DH has three brothers and a best friend and didn't want to exclude any of them. So they all stood up for him. I quite liked how it looked, so maybe this can give you an idea. Picture isn't the best - we only have a small selection at the moment and two or the guys aren't looking at the camera!