Bridesmaids Have Bailed!!!!

Hmmm Alishia, were these 4 ladies "close friends" of yours or just friends that you have known for a while? I guess its hard to define what 'friendship' means in this case. I also picked 4 ladies, one of which is my sister, the other 3 are 'ride or die' girls who I know can, want and will be there for me. I dont have any tasks for them, except for my sister who is excited to plan my bachelorette activities and my bridal shower. ---- I dont know, I wouldn't kick them out, Ive always heard that others wont as excited as you are about your wedding and that includes bridesmaids.

Yup. my bridesmaids pick up the phone every time I call and are totally into my wedding, and I care about what is going on with them :-)

good luck with your wedding!

Double post

Thank you for answering my question, futuremrsadams! I thought it would look a little strange but I have never seen it done before so I thought I would ask. I wish you the BEST of luck with your wedding. Communication is key, if I can get them on the phone I am going to try and piece it all together.

Well I am very happy for you Jet, and I wish you the best on your day!

Angie you are so right!!! They are just friends that I have known for a long time. We talk at least once a month, but since starting Nursing school I have made friend's that I am "Closer" too but the friendships just haven't been established for as long as my bridesmaids. I have A LOT to think about. Not omitting my own actions. I know that we live different lifestyles so they may feel that I can do it myself.

WARNING!!!! NEVER post about bridesmaids 90% of them will call u a bridezilla and say it's not your friends wedding lol. But I totally get what your saying I had the same problem with my bridesmaids. It's like at first all my girls agreed to do what I asked and then most of them stop communicating with me. My original wedding date was 3/21/15 and I started off with 7 girls but now since we decided to push it back another year we're cutting our bridal party down to 4-5 bm & gm.

Communication is very important when your in a wedding. If you're unable to do something just tell the bride you can't or don't want to.

There's definitely something weird going on. Perhaps they have been super busy lately? I obviously don't know you and your friends, but I wouldn't kick them out of the bridal party. I would honestly just try and get them together if possible, ask them what they've been up to lately (no wedding talk at first), see how they've been doing, and if there doesn't seem to be a legit reason for why they haven't been returning calls, etc, I would have an honest discussion with them about why you can't get a hold of them and they haven't been available.

Okay so I am in the same situation as you. I had 3 bridesmaid and a matron of Honor, after a year 2 of my bridesmaid just up and quite and because of one of them quitting I also lost my flower girl and ring bearer and with both quitting I lost 2 groomsmen. Lucky tho I had this really good friend that has been helping me with little projects here and there and I asked her if she would do my honor and be my bridesmaid ( don't know why I didn't ask from the beginning, the other 2 wouldn't respond to any of my calls, text message or F.B IM'S ). with my Matron of Honor her husband was my F.M best man and 6 months ago he just packed his bags and moved out which caused a big conflict, he lied to my F.M on many occasions when confronted if it was due to a women and he said no multiple times, found it was, so on that we lost the best man. Now I have been trying to get my bridesmaid and M.O.H all together to go get there dress and it has been a hassle with one, I picked a dress out at the local bridal shops but she didn't want to go see it, she wanted to a dress more form fitting, so I made appointments in Vegas 1 bridesmaid and the M.O.H all for it the other tells me that I am complicated and she only wants to be quest. I have never asked her to do any projects or anything else other then to get a dress and show up, So what I did was invited her over for a glass of wine and talked things over. Maybe that is what you need to do, if they aren't responding to your calls/text messaging go to their house, not saying be a stalker but knock on the door and say hey whats up haven't heard from you in awhile and go from there. I have learned when things like this happen I go to my room tell my F.M I need 1 hour to myself and do some breathing techniques and/or sleep okay sometimes I cry, but you will get thru this I promise. If worse comes to worse ask a neighbor or coworker to be a fill in. Hang in there hun, hope things get better

THANK YOU Epitome Of Love!! You win the understanding Bride Award!!! I am so serious. It is so hard going through this process alone when I though that I was choosing people who really cared about and supported me. One of my close friends was engaged to be married and I did everything with her. There was nothing that she asked me to do that I didn't not make happen for her. She called her wedding off and I have not heard from her. It is a little hurtful. I use wish that I had SOMEONE in my corner. I am always doing for everyone else. It would be nice to get a little in return.

I just saw your very last comment now, and it's making more sense now. You said they are just friends you've known for a long time, but it doesn't sound like they are "that" close to you. People aren't going to be as excited about your own wedding as you will be, and especially if they aren't very close friends. Because they have agreed to be bridesmaids though, they should be at least communicating with you more and returning calls, etc.

Alishia, if you really think about it, are they even bridesmaid material? As Angie said, maybe you all aren't as close as you thought.

Maybe none of them had the heart to tell you they just didn't want to be in your wedding. If you can find it in you to offer them an out, that they can come as guests, maybe your friendships will find their way back. Sometimes people don't want to hurt your feelings so disappearing is easier (for them)...

As far as the friend that called her wedding off..she could be embarrassed, depressed, it is probably not personal...try to keep a line open so she knows you are still there for her.

When my sister in law and one of my friends got married they both told me that you will really find out who your friends are when planning your wedding. We're dealing with a lot of personalities at once rather than one on one. I totally get that everybody have their own life but that's no excuse for not communicating we can't read minds.

Erin… I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time with your wedding. I could not imagine all of that chaos. I would have called it off and eloped a long time ago. (DONT DO THAT!) Im just saying that I definitely feel for you. Its hard being a bride. Especially when you're the only one getting married yet alone in a relationship. I feel like I have been isolated ever since me and my finance got together 4 years ago. It is a shame how time changes people.

I agree with Nikki T.

Epitome, I so understand. I have found that I have ONE real friend and she is a HOST. I feel that is important to know who your friends are BEFORE you get married and begin your journey with your new husband. Ain't nobody got time for frienemies!!

I am starting to think that way too! I have to take accountability because I CHOSE THEM. I will be calling them and expressing my concern about their lack of communication. Hopefully I don't end up Bridesmaidless…. that will look so retarded!

Sorry about the lack of help. Its annoying when people say you shouldn't expect your friends or BMs to do ANYTHING to help with the wedding. Not sure what kind of friends those people have, but friends are supposed to be there for one another. Maybe giving duties or requirements is the wrong way to go about it, but we all expect things from friends....that's why they're friends. I hope things work out - you have 6 weeks and its a stressful time...try to relax and maybe make some jon-wedding related plans with your friends to clear the air.

If you end up bridesmaidless let the guys walk up the aisle and stand beside your husband. Let them sit on the first row when the ceremony starts and it could be just you and your husband up there. You can get the friend that you have become close with to grab your flowers or arrange your dress. You do really find out who your friends are. As much as it sucks, it's reality. I found out the same thing. I made a decision to stop doing things for people who didn't appreciate me. If I am not worth their time then they are not worth mine. I would talk to them and give them a week to get their shit together. If they don't boot their ass. Why spend the next 6 weeks stressed and worrying. You have to ask yourself is all this worth having good pictures with an even bridal party or is your sanity more important?

Alishia thru all this I have learned who I can count on and who I cant. I also have learned how to do many breathing techniques. Thank goodness for my M.H.O and the new bridesmaid ( which I was stupid on that, I should have asked her from the beginning she has been there for me and helped me out in so many ways). We will get thru this and at the end the most important thing is we will be with the ones we love and who love us.