Bridesmaids Have Bailed!!!!

It feels so good to have someone to express my frustrations too. I absolutely LOVE the idea of it just being me and the groom. I appreciate each and every one of you. Even the Negative Nancy's.

I personally don't think she is asking much at all. I have been in several weddings and I have planned briidal showers, addressed invitations amongst other duties. I felt my job was to assist the bride and alleviate any stress she may be going through. Not one of the weddings I was in did anyone complain about the "duties."I would be losing my mind if I wasn't sure the dresses and shoes weren't purchased. Don't know what is going on with the girls. Have they ever been in weddings before.? Are they usually responsible individuals? I would try to get them together and find out what is wrong. I would leave those in the wedding that have bought their dresses but I understand your feelings 100% Alisha.

I am freaking out! I don't believe that any of them have been in a wedding prior to mine. I have deadlines that I have to meet and I can't even give the vendors definite information because I have had no communication with the girls yet. I am going to handle this entire situation before the weekend. Can't allow for this to drag. I only have 6 WEEKS and with my nursing program the time is flying!

I have that problem with one of my bridesmaids. She went from thinking she would be planning my wedding to not speaking to me at all. And I literally only asked her to pick and purchase a dress. And no, asking them about life in general doesn't always work. Only one of my sisters has had an organized, planned wedding with bridesmaids. Her advice was to find out from each person if they're okay continuing to be in your wedding. If they say no or don't respond, then take them out of the Wedding. She said "no hard feelings" but I'm not at that point yet. Lol

I see where your coming from completely. I have 6 bridesmaids and 1 of them has been completely out of the loop and useless. I get married in 8 days and I;m hoping she shows up to the rehearsal. She has only been to the bridal shower for one hour and nothing else. I understand people have lives but for her wedding I was a bridesmaid not even the MOH and I planned her bach party and went to every little shopping event and dress try-on and get together she had. It sound bictchy but they agreed to be in your wedding and with that they took on responsiblility to help you as much as possible. Yes it's your wedding but everyone know the role of being a bridesmaid so if they didnt want to take on the task they should not of.

I would try to talk to them [although it IS hard to talk to someone who will not return a phone call] and see if you can determine what the problem is. Each person's perception is their own reality and even though you believe you are not placing demands on them, perhaps there has been some miscommunication that has led them to feel that you, in fact, are requiring more than they are willing or able to give. It would not be the first time that someone said or did something that was received completely differently on the other end.

At least if you TRY to find out what the issue is, you will know in the end you behaved like and adult and did all you could. I am sorry for your stress. I hope it gets better.

**edited for grammar/spelling*

I feel where you are coming from, when you start planning a wedding, everyone will be happy and excited at first and then that slowly dwindles away. I went through a small case like yours with my bf of 17 years. but I valued our friendship enough to take a pause from wedding stuff and just be her friend ( cuz I realized that was the problem) people who arent married, or maybe married and divorced do not want to talk about wedding stuff. I learned that, and once I realized that, I had my mom, my sister which is my maid of honor and my matron of honor help me with stuff like the invitations, other than that I didnt ask nothing from no one else. and I think this is the route you should take. Its not they dont care, its just simply YOUR WEDDING, and anyone who is not planning a wedding, cares much about the process of planning a wedding. so I wouldn't kick them out just cuz they "LACK INTEREST" because its not worth it.

I think it sucks that they're not answering their phone or emails. That's BS. I have one MOH in my wedding party and she lives 200 miles away. When we needed to go shopping, I told her what weekend, and she was totally there for me the entire time. We also both fell in love with the same BM dress, so that was a total bonus. I count myself lucky after hearing some of the BM drama on here. I disagree that it's always the fault of the bride when things go wrong. I would email them, tell them your feelings are hurt and see if they really want to be in the wedding. Tell them you will understand if they say no. That way the burden is on them, and not you.

I understand where you are coming from, BUT they aren't suppose to help you plan if you needed help just ask. People aren't mind readers you know. I wouldn't risk losing a friendship over a 5 hour party. I just sent out a mass text today for all my

Girls reminding them about what color shoes, fitting appointments, RSVP, hotel

Bookings, and how I request that I want either a nude manuicire or French mani, I also told

Them I need help the night before making a favors so if anyone was free if they could help.

Maybe your being a little demanding and unrealistic? After all it's your wedding they are just auppose to support and stand with you on your day not cater and help with plans! Just a thought

It would look strange to have only groomsmen--hope you can get things straightened out with the girls and continue with friendships. If you've been friends this long, it should be just a bump in a long road.

Again. For clarification. I HAVE PLANNED MY OWN WEDDING. The only TASK that I asked for assistance with was the stuffing of invitations because there were so many. I thought that it would be nice to get the ladies together so that they could get to know each other. I PLANNED everything by myself, as I should have because clearly I know that it is my wedding. My question was about having ALL groomsmen or not. Kind of confused where all of this other stuff is coming from.

Maybe I should have been more specific. Does anyone know of any ideas concerning all groomsmen. I got some good feedback about this from some of the responses. I liked the idea of having the groomsmen walk down the aisle and have a seat. Then me and the groom be the only ones standing. I could have anyone hold my flowers and straighten my train.

I do think it would be a little weird having all groomsmen, and honestly, being the nosey person I am, I would wonder why there were no bridesmaids. LOL Just being honest.

As far as the logistics of it. I like the idea of the men taking a seat. And assuming your dad is giving you away, he might be able to take your flowers, hand them to your mom and have him or her straighten your train.

@AlishiaB89 I wish you luck with getting in touch with your BMs. Hopefully it will get sorted out. I think once the time is closer, sometimes this weird jealousy/contempt can come out in some women. Not sure why, often it's for different reasons, but I don't think you have asked too much at all. Count me as another person that does not understand the "jump down your throat" mentality. Ugh. It's also a good time to focus on you and your FH, yes, handle the BMs, but in the end, your marriage is the result of this day, your future with the man you've chosen. Let that keep you focused and hopeful. Good luck, hun!

I definitely have to remember what this day is about! All of the negativity has caused me to have a HORRIBLE wedding experience. I would recommend that ANYONE have a wedding with all of the things that have been going on. I love the idea about my dad taking my flowers and my mom straightening my train. That would be special =)

I completely understand your frustration. I would be hurt if everyone bailed after agreeing to help stuff invitations and wouldn't return calls/texts about dresses, etc.

BUT, as a guest, I would really wonder if you only had groomsmen. For better or worse, the people standing beside us are a reflection of us. If you have no one and your groom has a few people, it will look strange and people will talk. C'est la vie.

So, to answer your question, I think you need to either have both groomsmen and bridesmaids, or none at all.

These type of posts never gone well, all I can say is this... When you have issues with flaky folks, it is not always mess on the brides end. Some people are just a " trip". I know this because I dealt with a few last year.

The last thing I would want to do is chase after people to get them to stand in my wedding. I wouldn't want the stress of having to constantly run them down and hope they show up the day of. I would definitely try to figure out what is going on with them and make your decision soon. Your wedding is about you and your husband and your marriage. People are always going to talk about something. I highly doubt that in a week for your wedding people would still be saying on did you see that bride and no bridesmaids? It's 2014 and people break traditions these days so people need to get over themselves. Do what makes YOU happy and is less stressful for YOU. I hope you can figure out what is going on and make resolve. If not, move on because no one has time for bullshit and drama. Good luck!

My BMs were pretty slack. BTW-most of them I had been their BM and I threw bachelorette parties, showers, went dress shopping, helped with DIYs, spend hour upon hours listening or helping. They helped with nothing (although I didn't ask them to help with anything, but I would have like if they volunteered) they drug their feet about getting their dresses. One waited so late we had to order, we had to pick a different color because it wouldn't have been here in time. I'm not one to keep reminding people (they are grown women) so, I just let it go. If they had their dress fine, if they didn't, whatever, that's on them.

BUT, my story does have a happy ended. They were amazing the weekend of the wedding taking care of things, helping out, and all had their dresses I hope yours pull through and do the same. I was ready to write mine off, but they definitely redeemed themselves.

Me too or the BrideDemon will come out and I assure you NO ONE wants to meet her!! HAHAHAA! Evil Laughter =)