Bridesmaid getting married 1 week after me...

@Bailey - So what? Who cares how long she's been with her guy for? It's not up to you to judge their relationship. ONE DAY, that's all you get. You don't get to monopolise a week, a month or a year.

Sommer... Is this real life? I'm not supposed to name call but that's a real BITCHY thing to say. Some friend you are! I would totally disown you.

ETA: my best friend is getting married like 7 months after me but that doesn't mean my wedding is ANY more important.

Nobody gives a damn shit about your wedding. God. I'm disgusted and stunned at this comment the more I think about it.

Bailey does she have a venue yet? Also have you mentioned to her that you are sad that you would miss her wedding do to your honeymoon?

If she is a really close bestfriend and your upset that your missing her wedding and not upset that it's to close to your date then have a open honest conversation with her about how you feel. If it were my bestfriend I wouldn't want to miss her wedding for anything and I would tell her that.

My sister might be getting engaged after my wedding passes. Totes rude! It's all about me forever now ! Muwahaha.

But really @Sommer a year though? You can't be serious.

OP, you can be upset you'll miss the wedding but the weekend after your wedding is not important to you. Let her have her time just like you're having your time.

I agree with @April, I don't think Sommer was saying she is mad that her friend chose that date... Her wedding is in 10 days so if Sommer's friend is trying to get her to go shopping and help plan the friend's wedding that is over a year away I would do the same thing and tell the friend that I won't be able to make it shopping or help with any planning for a couple weeks until the wedding craziness is over.

ETA: clarity

She doesn't have a date until she has a venue so that could change. For the sake of your friendship I would let it go and try to be happy for her.

@Sommer

OP, it sucks that you can't go to her wedding and it's okay to be upset about that. But there may be reasons she picked the date she did. I think you may be over reacting a little bit.

If she had chosen the same day as you then you can be upset. But she was respectful enough to avoid that date.

I'd be a little annoyed because that also means your bridal showers, bachelorette parties, dress fitting, bridesmaid dress shopping could conflict with each other and that may be tough to plan but it seems like she didn't do it to hurt you. I agree if she's your good friend she should want you there at her wedding but maybe it was the only date. I planned my wedding around my sister and best friend who are pregnant due end of May/ early June. I pushed my date back so they would be able to attend without worrying about giving birth or having a week old baby. I wanted them to be able to enjoy so I get your frustration

@sommerH. I feel like that's very bridezilla-ish... how is asking you to go shopping with her "overshadowing" your wedding? Omg her wedding is a year after yours, be happy for her.

Other peoples lives don't stop bc your getting married. It sucks that you won't be able to attend but how would you feel if she asked you to change your HM date?

Don't be that bride that puts restrictrictions on their bm like no getting engaged before my wedding, no getting married around the same time, no getting pregnant before the wedding, stop your lives and let the world revolve around me until my wedding is over. Well in your case until the month of September is over.

The ONLY downside to this for YOU is that you won't get to go to her wedding. Das it.

My MOH is getting married 3 weeks after me and at first is kind of frustrated me, like you want to be able to plan your wedding and talk to your friends about it, but it makes you feel like they don't really care about your wedding because obviously their's is more important. I think the feeling is understandable, and if you were close enough for her to be in your wedding you would think she would want you in her wedding or at least be there on the day, which is unforunate with the date. I think it is good to let your feelings out here, and then let it go and continue to plan your wedding as usual. I really struggled to the point that I didn't want my MOH to go dress shopping because I didn't want her to look for her dress when I was looking for my dress. I wanted to have those special moments where it was all about me (yes I know it sounds selfish). But I got over it and she went with me to pick out my dress and I run my ideas by her still and I ask about her wedding. Sorry for my long paragraph, I just wanted you to know that I know how you feel, but like everyone said, your wedding day is your day and her wedding day is her's. So you should be happy for her like she is for you

Yeah, you're over reacting. You don't plan your wedding around the fact that one person (in this case, that person happens to be you) won't be able to make it. Sucks you can't make it, but that isn't her problem.. Is it inconvenient, yeah, but it wasn't a move to spite you.

Also, you little tid bit about how long shes been with her FH is irrelevant. It doesn't matter how long they have been together, their relationship is still as valid as yours

Yes your over reacting. The part about not being able to attend should be the only frustrating part. A couple we're friends with got engaged recently and selected a date the week before ours. At first I was bummed thinking they wouldn't be able to attend ours. She thinks they will be just have a mini-moon though. They went with that date because it meant something to them (their anniversary). The date may mean something to your friend as well.

Sommer, come back and tell us that you were pulling a "Matt", but we're not familiar enough with you to realize it. That WAS sarcasm, right?

OP, this is one of those times in life when the heart says, "Woe is me! It's not fair!", the head says, "You're a grown woman! Act like it. You get one day!", and you have to make a decision to follow your head.

I do understand what you're saying. I know that three weeks before a formal wedding, the anxiety level of the bride (and her mom) rises exponentially, and all of sudden the bride-to-be has a schedule that is packed full of appointments. She has to be this vendor's with a check, at that vendor's to sign off on a final decision, at this restaurant to check out a rehearsal dinner spot, etc., etc., etc. Phone calls need to be made to the rude people who will ultimately tell her, quite gleefully, "Well, of course, we're coming to your wedding -- all five of us", but only if she takes the time to contact them in person because they couldn't be bothered with the rocket science of filling out and returning an RSVP card. Yes, she might be fighting with the bridal salon doing her alterations when she has 15 minutes to get to another bride's Rehearsal Dinner. Yes, things go crazy a few before the wedding, and what you're thinking is, "She's going to be too busy thinking and talking about her own wedding to emotionally invest in mine, and that sucks." Yes, that will probably happen. Here's the big question: Will it really matter?

Here's the big answer: No, it will not. Your day, from the moment you get out of bed and see the first face smiling and saying, "Congratulations! It's your wedding day!" will be yours and yours alone. Your BM, who's getting married next week, may be a little distracted on your wedding day, but she is a percentage of one group of honor attendants, and she's but one individual in a sea of individuals who have all gathered together, under one roof, to celebrate this milestone event in your life. She's there, and she's there not because she has to be -- if that were the case, she would have been gone months ago. She's there because she wants to be, and because you want her to be. If she goes off the deep end in the bridal suite and starts redirecting every conversation so that it becomes about her day (I'm not going to lie -- it's a possibility), I promise, somebody will have the good sense to pull her aside, explain to her what she's doing, and she will -- because she's your friend -- take it down a few notches.

The fact that she is getting married a week after you will not make an iota of difference as the photographer focuses on you as somebody really important in your life zippers/buttons/laces up the back of your gown. The close proximity of the two weddings won't be a thought in your head as you close your eyes, take a deep breath, and then walk the aisle. At your reception, it's you that your guests will be looking at as you do your spotlight dances. She gets her day, but so do you -- and you need to accept that.

What is truly unfortunate is that you can't attend her wedding. If I were you, I'd talk to her about possibly Skyping the wedding so that you can see it as it happens. Whether she can or can't, she will appreciate your strong desire to see the event in real time. Of course, you'll send a great gift.

These things happen to women at a certain stage in life. A PP said it very well, "If she wants a fall wedding -- something she is absolutely entitled to -- she may have had no choice but to chose a date a week after your wedding. You wouldn't appreciate someone taking that choice from you, and you don't want to be the type of person who would condone something like that.

Remember, what matters here is the love and friendship that connects you, not the proximity of your wedding dates. Life is too short, too chaotic, and too fragile to weaken true connections over something so ultimately trivial.

As long as it doesn't affect your wedding day, you are over reacting. She can have her wedding whenever she wants whether they have been dating a long time or not.

And Sommer, that's super rude of you. Her wedding is over a year away! My best friend got engaged two weeks after me and her wedding will be about 6 months after mine. We have had so much fun planning together. We have gone to bridal expos together. Looked at some venues together, looked at dresses and bridesmaids dresses together. No one has tried to over shadow anyone. And even though we are planning together, we haven't picked any of the same things.

It stinks you won't be able to attend her wedding, but she chose that date so now theres nothing you can do but smile and be happy for her. she doesn't have a venue yet so it's possible the date will change. but even if it doesnt just be happy for her