Bridesmaid dropped out

@Samantha: What a shitty way to treat the people who are supposed to be your closest friends. Way to show your original bm that she's replaceable, the replacement that she's only good enough to be a stand-in, and the gm that he really wasn't that important to you guys anyway.

Yuck, so gross. I hope none of them speak to you after that. You deserve it.

Yeah, I'd just leave it! Hopefully she will be comfortable doing the pictures.

Ew, Samantha.

Samantha you cut out a groomsman 5 days before your wedding to make it even?

WTH is wrong with you(r ideas).

I hate the term honorary bridesmaid.

Samantha, ew.

Thanks ladies! I think I'll just leave it. It's just the website anyway. She seems totally relieved now and happy again. It's my cousin actually and we are really close. I don't care if she stands up there as long as I have her with me through the day. I already told her I'm still paying for makeup and she's coming to the rehearsal dinner. No arguments. HaHa!! She's happy and I'm happy. Whew!

Samantha- why would you kick a groomsman out? That's harsh! I'm sure he'll get over it but doing that just because of uneven sides is mean.

Re: @Samantha: Uneven sides are a thing and would have been more acceptable than cutting someone out. How did the groomsman take it? How did you decide who you'd cut?

@LeahH the groomsman is her own brother, such gross behavior

@Leah- I would get over it but it takes a lot to end a friendship for me. I have friends that cheated with each others boyfriends/girlfriends and they are still all friends. We are like a family. It would take more than kicking me out of a wedding but I know I'm in the minority.

@Leah right? I can't fathom treating anyone so poorly, let alone my own sibling...

Let her be a guest. "Honorary Bridesmaid" is like "Black Tie Optional". If doesn't exist....

Uneven sides are fine.

@Celia- I don't want her to be just a guest and she really doesn't want to be. I love that she'll still be my bridesmaid but not have to walk. I get her point. I am terrified to walk down the aisle. I get major stage fright. I'm keeping her a bridesmaid but she won't walk. That's the only change.

@ Samantha - Eeewww!

@ EW - Your friend doesn't want attention drawn to herself but you want to give her attention that will draw attention to her. I'm sorry but that doesn't make any sense. If she's dropping out from the BP then just let her enjoy being a guest.

Erin, I have an honorary BM. She was originally a BM, but found out recently that's her graduation day (it's a small grad school so they don't release the date way in advance). I left her on my website and I added why she won't be there and that I'll miss her!

She doesn't mind the attention in general. She just doesn't want to stand up there wth all eyes on her. I'm the same way. I'm fine at a party or in a group of people but put me up in front of people and I kind of black out. She's worried about a bad knee and hot flashes. She's really excited about still being part of everything without everyone staring at her.

See- she's happy.

Erin- I do have to question what you just posted. Does she realize YOU are the one getting married. No one will be staring at her, they will be looking at you and DH. Never ONCE at a wedding have a honed in on a BM. I am always looking at the couple. Might be something to mention if it ever comes up again.

She's either a BM or she's a guest; there's no in between. And OG Kathryn's right. No one is going to stare at her; all eyes will be on you and your FH.

I feel like Honorary BM is really best used when someone who was supposed to be in the BP is unable to participate due to illness,death, or because they live too far away and can't be there. If your friend is wanting to be called an honorary BM, then I guess it's okay, so long as she doesn't turn into your personal attendant. I only say that because in situations where the friend who isn't a BM is present, honorary BM tends to be used to give a title to friends that didn't quite make the cut for BM and they end up being given jobs. Make sure this doesn't happen, and keep deferring to your friend to find out where she does and does not want to be included.

Samantha - other Samanthas with this kind of attitude about their weddings are why I changed my username.

I agree!! I tried to tell her last time that nobody would be looking at her but she's self conscious about it so I'm not going to force her. I also don't want to strip her of her place of honor just because she's afraid to walk down the aisle. I've decided to keep her a bridesmaid but she won't walk.

@Blue- I'm not giving anyone any jobs besides standing and taking pictures. I would hope they'll get ready with me because I think that's fun. Nothing other than that. What else would there be to be included in?? She already said she wasn't planning a shower or bachelorette but of course wants to come to those things. She's just a shitty party planner. Her words not mine! Lol!