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Erin Wood
Master July 2017

Bridesmaid dropped out

Erin Wood, on November 29, 2016 at 11:34 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 50

I got a text from one of my bridesmaids yesterday morning saying she couldn't be in the wedding. She's really stressed out about getting up there in front of people to the point she's making herself sick. I told her not to worry. I love her and wanted her to feel beautiful and special up there but if she's not feeling good about it then of course she doesn't have to do it. I asked her to please still wear navy blue and to be in my pictures. I already wrote a blurb about her on my website. I feel weird taking it down. Should I just leave it??

50 Comments

Latest activity by Erin Wood, on November 29, 2016 at 7:29 PM
  • Salisbride
    Super July 2016
    Salisbride ·
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    Why don't you ask her?

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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
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    Is the only thing she doesn't want to do stand up at the front of the ceremony? I'd offer to let her do everything as a BM but not have to walk down the aisle or stand up with the other BMs, or let her just be a guest - leave it up to her!

    If she drops out I'd take down the blurb, because it might cause more attention to have her listed on the website but then not a BM on the day of!

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  • Private_User832
    Master August 2017
    Private_User832 ·
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    Well it depends - if she's wearing the dress and and doing pics and other bm stuff, id leave it. If she's just not doing any of it, then I'd take the pic down (she is asking not to be one, it's not like you asked her not to be)

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  • Erin Wood
    Master July 2017
    Erin Wood ·
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    Honorary Bridesmaid! That's perfect! I'll definitely ask her if that's okay but I'm sure she'll be fine with that. I know she is self conscious about her weight and she is older and was worried about having a hot flash. Either way she's just not feeling good about walking down the aisle and all that. As far as "everything else" there really wasn't much else involved. I never expected her to throw parties or anything and we are not having a head table.

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  • S
    Dedicated December 2016
    Samantha ·
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    I had one do that to me 30 days before my wedding but she wanted nothing to do with it. Not even show up nor pay for the dress. So I found a replacement. Then I found out yesterday she can't make it either. My wedding is Saturday. I know what your going through. We just ended up cutting out 1 groomsman to make it even.

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  • Simca
    Super April 2017
    Simca ·
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    @Samantha I'm so glad your wedding party is so disposable!! I'd be pretty pissed off if my so called friends cut me out of their wedding party days before the wedding just to even sides up. He's probably spent money on your wedding. I hope you'll be refunding him

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  • Laura
    Master July 2017
    Laura ·
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    Oh Samantha I can't wait for the responses your comment will get.

    One of my bridesmaids texted me yesterday that she had to drop out. She is pregnant (was not pregnant when I asked, but I knew they'd start trying soon) and due 3 weeks before the wedding. She won't be able to attend the wedding or bachelorette party but will likely come to a local shower. I removed her name from the wedding website. No hostility, I am happy for her and only disappointed she won't be there!

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  • Simca
    Super April 2017
    Simca ·
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    @Erin i think the honorary bridesmaid is a great idea

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  • MrsA
    Master October 2015
    MrsA ·
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    Honorary Bridesmaid? No. Just let her be a guest.

    BM proposals and website blurbs. Reasons not to do these things? People may want to or need to say no.

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  • Holly
    Master February 2017
    Holly ·
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    What the fuck, Samantha

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  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·
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    Wow, Samantha that is incredible rude in so many ways. First replacing her, then kicking a GM out.. No wonder your losing BM right and left.

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  • Mrs. Sasswood
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Sasswood ·
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    Samantha, ew. Way to make your FS's buddy feel loved. That's just a shitty thing to do.

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  • Erin Wood
    Master July 2017
    Erin Wood ·
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    I just sent her a text and she loves the idea of being an honorary bridesmaid. She's just not feeling confident about standing up there in front of everyone. I want her to do everything else. I asked a friend of mine to be a bridesmaid last night and she's excited. She was already planning my bachelorette party so it's kind of perfect. HaHa!

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  • mimitrue
    Master January 2016
    mimitrue ·
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    Samantha, OMG that is not how this works, you don't cut people to make bridal parties even and you don't replace people. That's not how friendships work and that's exactly what your bridal party is supposed to be, your nearest and dearest friends, not disposable or replaceable people.

    @Erin, I would definitely ask your friend to get her opinion before moving forward. You want her to be comfortable with the next step.

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  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·
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    Erin- When is your wedding? She could change her mind by then. I don't like the honorary BM BS. I would just leave her as a BM.

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  • S
    Dedicated December 2016
    Samantha ·
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    @Simca actually he didn't I bought everything they needed. And he never wanted to be in the wedding. He was just doing it to make me and my FH happy. So there's that.

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  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·
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    I don't blame him, I wouldn't want to be in a wedding of someone who would do that either.

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  • Erin Wood
    Master July 2017
    Erin Wood ·
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    @OG- wedding is in July and I highly doubt she'll change her mind. She has brought this up once before but I told her it would be fine and she calmed down. If she decides she wants to walk down the aisle then great. She can carry my tossing bouquet. It doesn't really matter.

    ETA- so just leave the website the way it is? I don't know what else would be different between honorary and BM. I guess it doesn't matter if people think she'll be walking down the aisle.

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  • Katie
    VIP February 2017
    Katie ·
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    @Samantha still not a good reason to kick someone out. If he dropped out, that's one thing but kicking someone out is considered rude.

    @Erin I'm glad that you found a solution! I'm also happy your friend is happy with it.

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  • Holly
    Master February 2017
    Holly ·
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    Leah- at least the flies can enjoy the shit sandwiches, I guess...

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