Bridesmaid Can't Attend Wedding

This is one of the grossest threads I've read in a long time.

She lost her JOB. Meaning she lost her income, way to pay her bills, for her home, possibly her health insurance, and you're upset because she can't go to your WEDDING?

You realize a wedding isn't some grand achievement, right? If I was your friend I'd end my friendship with you so quickly if you acted like this. You can be upset, but jfc your friend just lost her job and you're pissed that she won't set aside the fact that a very big part of her life is falling apart for your wedding. GET OVER YOURSELF and get some fucking perspective.

And I honestly can't believe there are people in this thread that think this friend should spend savings for a wedding. My husband and I have a good amount of savings but it's for emergencies like....if one of us lost our job, or one of us or our kids got sick. I'm actually angry right now.

I definitely understand that the situation is disappointing to you, but I'm sure she's got a lot going on and that's something that as a close friend, you should be understanding of.

For those swearing at me, the biggest reason I'm upset is HOW she told me. Just through a text, like it was no big deal. No phone call to me. It was a huge shock to me that my fiances friends took more care in dealing with their situations with him.

And cat lady, when did I was I was happy a GM's sister cancelled her wedding?! My point there was that he told us ASAP with plenty of time. Made the effort to reach out to BOTH of us. And had a phone conversation with my fiancé. The second GM I was saying that if he can find the time in his insane schedule, it's hard for me to understand anyone not able to spare 24 hours.

The groomsmen and their issues are in no way relevant to what your BM said she can't do. I'm sincerely curious, is she your friend or is she merely a wedding prop?

Take a step back for a second and realize people know what's best for them, and if she says she can't afford to do this, as her friend, you should thank her for the efforts and chalk it up as a loss. Initially I was agreeing that it's sad that she put you in this position, but the more you reply to this, the more it sounds like you're using your friends for your own selfish reasons. She is your friend, and she should be treated as such. Ugh.

@Sarah, your way of thinking is incredibly SELFISH. No one cares about your wedding as much as you do. You'll see that told a million times over on this site. You don't have to understand her situation, but if you can sympathize with the fact that her life comes before your wedding, you might want to reconsider what she truly means to you. She has a life outside of being a bridesmaid, and that life consists of having to make money to live. I can't believe you're really saying these things right now.

People communicate via text now. It's not the best but she probably needed to process everything that was going on in text.

Her problem: unemployment and financial uncertainty.

Your problem: text message etiquette.

Look at the bigger picture. Be a friend and get over it.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. And sorry for your friend too.

I lost my job last summer and was a bridesmaid in a wedding 7 weeks later. Thankfully we had plane tickets and hotel and everything paid for already. But what was hard was seeing my friends doing so well and having to explain how I wasn't doing so well. It is an awfully embarrassing situation that I didn't want to talk about (and still don't even with close friends). This may have been her reason for not calling and choosing to text instead. I'm sorry she won't make your wedding and I bet she is too, maybe you can FaceTime her while you and your girls are getting ready to show her that she is missed and you still want her to be part of your day?

More importantly though, I hope she finds what she's looking for soon!

@RealLindseyO glad you could talk some sense into @Laura.. sheesh

I'd say to let it go. Put yourself in her shoes. Imagine the stress she's feeling about not knowing how she's going to pay bills or put food on her plate. It's sad, but be a support system for her.