Bridesmaid Can't Attend Wedding

Wow. Some of you guys are unbelievable.

Her friend is in a rough situation. Way rougher than missing a bridesmaid.

You offered, she declined. Let her keep her dignity, end of story.

I'm sorry Larry, did your wedding party pay $$$ to stand by you?

Wow, she must really need some love and encouragement right now. I'm sure she feels down on herself already and is kicking herself for not taking care of some things sooner, like her plane ticket.

What she needs now is her friend and not a lecture or a "BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?!??!!?!" attitude.

It sucks, it's disappointing, but life happens and now she's the one to pick up the pieces. Imagine if you lost your job and your friend was only concerned about her wedding. Bet your post would be about how your friend was unsupportive to you. Walk in her shoes for a bit.

I understand your feelings.. I am sure with your friend losing her job she may feel awkward having your other bridesmaids and yourself pay for her way.. talk with her and see what she says.. it isn't easy losing a job..

Good for you Laura? I wouldn't touch my savings to go to anybody's wedding if I was unemployed.

I understand both sides but maybe shes more upset that her friend send her a text to tell her all this... even though she probaly didnt know how to tell it to you....and feels bad about itand i also under stand that she lost her job doesnt want to come ....you offered her an all expense paid trip if she still wanted to come... and yes she needa to worry about finding a new job to help pays bills but honestly is 2 days really gonna affect that she can still put in resumes on line while at her friends wedding.... i know your upset because obviously shes a really good friend who you want to be there for you special day.... call her .... maybe if yall had a sincere conversation yall can figure something out....

Larry, it takes a lot to shock me on these forums. Your jerk comment did the trick.

I understand this sucks. I would personally try like hell to get her to my wedding. She may not want to be a burden financially. It would totally kill me if one of my best friends couldn't be there with me for my wedding. If this happened this week, I would give her some space to cool, and definitely give her a call the beginning of next week and explain your feelings. You guys have all offered to get her to your wedding, which is absolutely remarkable. You guys really are true friends. Explain to her that her presence there is all you need. If she can't stay the weekend, offer to fly her back that night/the next morning early. OP, I do feel for you, and I hope everything works out.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH SOME OF YOU? Do you not know a thing about priorities?

A person lost their source of income. They have bills to pay. Keep a roof over their head. They have to eat. Does she have a family to take care of?? How about this: they may need new clothes TO INTERVIEW, and gas money or commuting money TO GET TO INTERVIEWS.

The priority isn't someone's goddamn wedding. This former BM is doing the right thing. She said she needs to work around the clock to find work, according to what the OP wrote. And some of you find fault with that?!?! You're pissed because she needs to find gainful employment??? This is a friend I would want to have. A RESPONSIBLE one.

My god does no one of this forum have savings? I lost my job in March and was out of work for 6 weeks. It's not the first time in my career that's happened to me. But I've been saving money since I started working 10 years ago. Being out of work for several months, even a year,isn't going to ruin me financially. If you have a healthy savings, spending a thousand bucks to attend a friend's wedding won't kill you.

We don't know her bridesmaid's financial situation. Just that she's understandably upset about losing her job, and she's panicking. OP sounds sympathetic to her situation and she can still be upset her friend is missing her wedding!

Sure I have savings. My emergency funds are for exactly that--EMERGENCIES. Not "I want to go to my friend's party." And that is WHY I have an emergency fund: because I refuse to dip into it for funsies.

@MrsWrs, thanks for your fake concern about my savings. If you want to talk numbers to prove I'm not financially irresponsible I gladly will, but that would be considered bragging. Not everyone lives paycheck to paycheck and to assume this BM is going to be destitute if she attends a wedding is absurd.

Laura do you seriously think that everyone is in the same socioeconomic class as you? I have very generous savings from working as an admin assistant and a teacher. Congratulations! You must have a job that has provided you with a higher income. How tone deaf can you be that you assume everyone can spend 1k on a wedding while unemployed if only they had a savings account? And the nerve to judge them for not doing so?

Jeez Larry, wtf?!

Omg Laura you seriously think this stranger BM can just go to this wedding? You haven't thought about student loans and medical expenses? Congratulations on all that dough, maybe step out of your bubble for once in your life.

Laura, and to assume this BM SHOULD have a grand to attend someone's wedding over staying her ass at home to look for employment IS ABSURD. And to blame her for not having enough money to attend a one day party is a disgusting attitude to have.

I make plenty of money, have plenty in savings (outside of the wedding savings) and I don't live paycheck to paycheck. If I lost my job tomorrow, I'm not attending someone's destination wedding.

@maria well you know just as much as I know about her. You're assuming she can't afford to go just as easily as I'm assuming she can. Look, no one wants to lose their job. But I know plenty of people who have and it hasn't been the end of the world.

LOL at the step out of your bubble comment. I could say the same to you. Not everyone on this forum has the same socioeconomic background and we can all provide different viewpoints.

Laura you're out of your mind.

How do you know she won't be destitute from going? Is she your friend too? Do you know her circumstances?

She's an intelligent woman to not spend money she can't recoup right now.

Laura, we're not assuming she can't afford to go. She said she can't afford to go.