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Leigh
Savvy June 2021

Bridal shower for a micro wedding

Leigh, on February 13, 2021 at 6:52 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8
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We’ve decided to have a micro wedding (less then 25) out of caution for safety and keeping restrictions in mind. We will be streaming the event for our extended family and friends.


My MOH called me to ask how I feel about going forward with their bridal shower plan. (We were planning for 100 at the wedding so the shower list was about 45.) I told her I don’t feel comfortable inviting anyone who isn’t invited to the actual wedding. I find it tacky and very selfish to invite someone to give me gifts but not celebrate my wedding. I would be incredibly uncomfortable at the shower.

She and other bridal party members just want us to have the normal wedding experience and keep saying they’ll do whatever they can to make that happen. While I really appreciate the sentiment, I’m frustrated that they can’t accept the reality like I have and I feel like I have to defend all my hard decisions. I suggested a small shower with only those invited to the wedding.
Anyone else in a similar boat? What are you doing in the situation? How are you handling the pushy family/bridal party?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Leigh, on February 13, 2021 at 2:35 PM
  • S
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    A smaller shower makes total sense. Also, people can only be as pushy as you allow. So, provide your condensed list to your bridal party or decline a shower altogether if you feel most comfortable with that plan
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  • Rebelle Fleur
    Master July 2021
    Rebelle Fleur ·
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    I would shorten the list. If you must keep your lengthier list ask that attendees not give gifts and relay that it is unfortunate that all of them will not be able to attend the wedding due to Covid but you’d like to celebrate with them in some fashion.
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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Yeah, you would definitely not want to invite anyone to buy you gifts for your bridal shower that you aren’t inviting to your actual wedding. This is exactly why I am only having my bridal party show up at the wedding and walk down the aisle. They’re not doing anything else for us Because my fiancé and I are pretty hands-on people, and let’s face it, weddings can sometimes cause drama when you have to rely on other people to make decisions for yourself.
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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    You’re absolutely correct on only inviting those who are invited to your wedding. Give her your shorter list, explaining (again) that just because it’s smaller doesn’t mean you’re not getting those experiences.
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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Agree with this. Also a shower is for gifts so you cannot tell anyone not to bring them.

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  • Shirley
    Expert November 2020
    Shirley ·
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    This was my situation. My family and friends could not accept what I did pretty quickly, which was that I had lost the opportunity to have a normal wedding experience and there was no getting it back. I let the bridal shower go as planned and it made them happy but I regret it, because I felt guilty about those peoplr not being invited to the wedding and now feel like I have to plan some party to invite them all to.


    I think you should communicate clearly that you have accepted that you won't be able to have a normal wedding experience and that it would help you if they could too
    • Reply
  • C
    Dedicated November 2021
    Claudia ·
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    Same situation. We cut dien our wedding to leas than 10 people, including us. My MOH wanted to plan a bachelorette party and shower but I simply said "no, I'm not comfortable with that" and that was that. No fuss.
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  • Leigh
    Savvy June 2021
    Leigh ·
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    I’m so sorry you feel regret about your shower. Thank you so much for sharing! I very firmly told them that this is what I want and that I’ve accepted this is my wedding experience and am hopeful they will all respect my wishes.
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