Blaine
Expert August 2015

Bridal Shower and No Registry?

Blaine, on February 22, 2015 at 6:00 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 17
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For those people that are not having a registry, are you still having a bridal shower? Are you expecting to get cash?

I just got a bridal shower invitation that says "monetary gifts appreciated" on the bottom. I thought that was a bit... bold. But I digress.

Then the last bridal shower invite I got had the couple's registry info... for their local travel agency. So essentially a cross between a cash and a honeyfund registry without the extra fees.

I thought the whole point of the bridal shower was to shower the bride with gifts.. Not cash.

I'd love to get cash too but I can't fathom doing something like this. So FH and I made a BBB registry with about 25 items, most of which we really don't need or are pretty expensive.

What are your thoughts? Did you do something similar?

17 Comments

Latest activity by Maidee, on January 30, 2018 at 12:34 PM
  • Robin
    VIP September 2015
    Robin ·
    • Flag

    I've been married before. No shower needed. I also don't want wedding gifts or anything. Did NOT put that on invitations. Several people have asked where we are registered and I say," we don't want nor do we need gifts. We just want to celebrate with our family and friends." After we send out invites, if anyone asks and insists I'll request the donate to any animal rescue league.

    • Reply
  • tucker052315
    VIP May 2015
    tucker052315 ·
    • Flag

    IMO if you just want cash you shouldn't have a shower. Shower are for "showering" you with gifts.

    • Reply
  • Monica SC
    Master October 2015
    Monica SC ·
    • Flag

    That little note on the invite was super-tacky.

    If there is no registry then you bring a card with or without cash in it.

    • Reply
  • kahlcara
    Master August 2013
    kahlcara ·
    • Flag

    I would strongly advise having a registry if you're having a shower. I got all gifts and no $. I didn't have our registry together yet because my mom and friends threw me a surprise shower when I was visiting in March, 5 months pre-wedding, and while my mom tried to give reasonable suggestions based on things she knew we needed.. some guests gave us random stuff that while nice, we would never use (ex. burger press when we neither own nor have space for a grill and lived in a 1 bedroom apartment..).

    ETA: Maybe upgrade stuff you already have? Matching towel sets, new sheets, pots and pans, etc?

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Master May 2014
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    That note on the invitation was very tacky. Money should not be expected at a shower. What is the bride going to do - open envelopes and announce the amounts to all guests? How awkward. Showers are for gifts. You should never ask for cash. And no registry makes purchasing gifts difficult for guests.

    • Reply
  • Annie & Javi
    Master October 2015
    Annie & Javi ·
    • Flag

    I think the monetary gifts and the honey fund route are both rude. I think a bridal shower should be strictly for showering the bride with gifts as per the tradition.

    I also prefer registries so I know my hard earned money is going toward something the couple want and/or need. If they don't register I always make sure to give a gift with a gift receipt for something I think would suit their lifestyle or needs.

    • Reply
  • Natalie
    Master May 2015
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    We made a small registry for our shower. It is rude to ask for cash or honeymoon funds for a shower. The whole point of a shower is to shower the bride in gifts. A big part is having the bride open all the gifts. Opening an envelope of cash in front of everyone would be awkward. Brides if you don't want gifts don't have a shower. Have a bridal tea, or bridal luncheon, or other non-shower wedding party; still celebrate without the expectation of gifts.

    • Reply
  • Julia T
    Master August 2015
    Julia T ·
    • Flag

    I think people should stop torturing their friends and family with bridal showers. They are boring and a waste of time. I'll pay the bride cash not to invite me. Lol

    • Reply
  • MrsLaguna
    VIP April 2015
    MrsLaguna ·
    • Flag

    I did a registry in Macy's and BBB about 2 months before my bridal shower because I knew those invited would want to bring a gift that is what showers are for. and I would never ask anyone for cash even thought that is what we really want. After my shower I removed all of the gifts from the registry and only left like 10 items on both and items which are very expensive and that I would love to have, this way the guest will get the hint and gift cash. No I did not include registry info on the invites nor did I put proffered gifts cash anywhere or on the wedding website, its just tacky. Just leave your small registry with expensive gifts and the guest will know.

    • Reply
  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
    • Flag

    For a first time bride, it's really a better idea to have a registry. If you don't, you're going to get random gifts you may or may not love. For a second time bride who really doesn't want gifts, I think the idea of "just come and celebrate" is lovely. Cash? First time, second time, third time, fourth time -- it would be weird. Sorry if anyone disagrees. I'm just thinking of sitting there saying, "Is she actually telling everyone how much every gave her?". Too uncomfortable for your guests, IMHO.

    • Reply
  • mrsg
    Master September 2017
    mrsg ·
    • Flag

    I think if we only put expensive things on the registry, we'll get random cheaper gifts. If someone wants to get a gift and can't afford to spend $150, I don't want to put them in an awkward position. During college and when I was first starting out, I could only afford around $50 per wedding I was invited to, and it made me feel much better to be able to buy the couple a gorgeous picture frame from their registry or a set of wine glasses that I knew they'd use, rather than putting a measly $50 cash in a card envelope.

    I love the idea of a bridal tea!

    • Reply
  • Blaine
    Expert August 2015
    Blaine ·
    • Flag

    If everyone comes with an envelope of cash I'm thinking (hoping) that they won't get opened at the shower. It is a fancy shower at a restaurant serving lunch, so there's something to preoccupy the guests.

    The shower with the travel agency "registry" I didn't attend, but I saw pictures on Facebook of her opening boxed gifts so I'm guessing she ended up with some random stuff she didn't want lol.

    • Reply
  • K
    Devoted June 2015
    KeitaiKT ·
    • Flag

    Personally, I would hate to think I bought a present for someone off their registry that they only put there because they felt like they had to, and didn't actually want. So if there is really nothing you want, then if I were in your situation I would just not have a registry, and if anyone asked, would say I didn't want gifts. If someone brings something, great. You can keep it or return it. But that's just me.

    • Reply
  • Megan Jo
    Super May 2015
    Megan Jo ·
    • Flag

    I think doing a registry for a shower is important and this is why, I went to a shower for a family member a few years ago and she felt "awkward" making a registry so she didn't. At the shower she got 12 tshirt that said bride on them and 3 silk bride robes along with a bunch of other stupid gifts. Do a registry!!!

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    Asking for money is about as rude as it gets, with honeymoon registries right behind. And putting it on the invite is worse.

    I'd say that most people have things that they need, whether it's new towels, that fantastic Cuisinart or a canoe.

    • Reply
  • Julia T
    Master August 2015
    Julia T ·
    • Flag

    Please don't try to trick your guest into giving you cash. I agree with @KeitaiKT if you want cash then don't do a registry and when people ask tell them. Having a registry with only few expensive gifts and hoping your guest get the hint and give you cash sound underhanded to me. I much rather people be upfront and honest with me rude or not.

    • Reply
  • M
    Just Said Yes August 2018
    Maidee ·
    • Flag

    There is nothing wrong with having a money shower. For those who are telling you to not have a shower, ignore them! everyones situations is different. Its stupid to make your guests get you things you dont want or need. if you do have a shower money only, make it fun have a lot of games, prizes kind of like a stag and doe, but classy and only with your girls. Ive been to one and it was amazing worth my money gift!

    • Reply

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