Bridal Party - need advice

Why would you consider paying for BM2's and not the other girl's? is it because her husband is also in the wedding that you think maybe it would help soften the blow financially for them?

are they all wanting to partake in the hair and make up? otherwise i would give everyone the option of it and if they don't want to do it, then that's fine to opt out.

Typically if you aren't paying for it they shouldn't be required to use a potentially expensive stylist. I was in a few weddings where hair and makeup were paid for by the bride and the rest have been we can choose to get it done with the bride's stylist (booked ahead of time) or we could do our own or go to someone we were familiar with.

I'm with Melle on this one. I wouldn't single out 1 person to pay for and not take care of the others. Also, and this is only my opinion, I think it should be optional to use your stylist unless you want all of them to be made up the same way, in which case it would be customary to pay for everyone's.

Are you requiring your bridal party to have their hair and makeup professionally done? If so, you should pay for it. If you are not requiring it, and it is their choice to use a professional, then they should pay for it. It is a very nice gesture for you to offer to cover the gratuity though.

You would pay if you are requiring them to have their hair and makeup professionally done. if it's optional they can cover the cost. I would also add that I wouldn't pay for one bridesmaid if you aren't paying for the rest.

I agree with the comments. If it is a requirement, you should pay. If it is optional, they pay. I wouldnt single people out it may make someone feel bad. Also 180 for makeup is expensive. I am requiring my MOH to have professional makeup. The cost is 85 (mine is 150) I am paying for it.

Sorry, I now realize the 180 is hair and makeup lol

To be honest with you, if I were your bridesmaid I’d be annoyed that I got wineglass I’ll never use and some jewellery I probably wouldn’t wear either, but I had to pay for hair and makeup.


My general rule of thumb is bridesmaids pay for their dresses (provided they’re a reasonable price) but the bride pays for hair and makeup. I’m not a fan of having half the bridal party (who is willing to pay) be nicely done up, and the other half left scrambling to do themselves up. Particularly if your hair and makeup is that expensive (I’m assuming it’s $180USD?).
You don’t get to pick and choose with who gets what. If I were you, I would skip the mani pedi and pay for all the BMs’ hair and makeup. Otherwise to me you’re asking them to spend a lot of money for your day and instead of having some of those costs covered, you’re giving them gifts that will not see the light of day after your wedding, sorry.

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Yes, it's because her, her husband, AND their daughter are all in the wedding. But, I'm paying for the flower girl- so they don't have that cost. They were all given the option- I haven't confirmed with her though.

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They were given the option, I just haven't confirmed with her. Our stylist isn't what I would consider expensive- I've seen them MUCH higher. Ours is $180 for both hair and make-up and I'm covering the tip.

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It is optional. And that was my concern about paying for one and not the others- I only considered it because this BM's entire family is in the wedding, whereas the others it is just them.

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Yes, $180 for both! Oh man, I would never pay $180 for just make-up! That's insane. I'm sure some people charge that, and some people pay that, but not this gal!

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I was thinking the same, which was why I went to family and friends who have been through it as well. The general consensus was that the bridal party pays for their hair/make-up- rather than having the bride incur that cost along with the other wedding costs. We live in a high cost area, so $180 total for hair/make-up isn't a bad price- other places I looked wanted $250 or more. And they were all able to choose their own dresses (I only chose the color) so they could choose what fit their budget.

View Quoted Comment I still don't think it is right.

View Quoted Comment In my experience you’re asking them to pay for too many things. It’s an honor to be a part of someone’s bridal party but the bride has to meet you halfway with something. Your bridesmaids have spent hundreds at this point by the looks of it.

Nope, you can't insist they get hair/makeup professionally done unless YOU pay for it, tip and all.

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I didn't insist on anything. I'm asking if I should pay for hers- I haven't confirmed if she wants it done. Every single one of them was told it would be optional, at their own cost, and was told the price. I'm taking on the extra expense of paying for the flower girl's attire, her daughter, which is also traditionally her cost. I'm asking if I should be going the extra step of paying for her hair/make-up or not. At no point did I say I insisted on any of the 3 of them getting it done.

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I'm not sure what everyone else is doing for their wedding, but my bridesmaids have not "already spent hundreds". They each picked their own dresses, as I mentioned and I only chose the color, so each have their own price points that they were each comfortable with and could accommodate. Each of those dresses were under $80 each.

My bridesmaids are literally spending, at most and including the optional hair/make-up, less than $300. I bought their jewelry and bought something they could absolutely wear on a regular day post-wedding (gold necklace and bracelet). I'm paying for their pre-wedding primping. I'm even paying for everything for the flower girl (BM2s daughter, which is traditionally something the PARENTS of said child would purchase).

I'm not really sure how my simple question of "should I help out BM2 who has her ENTIRE family in my wedding" turned into me apparently being a terrible bride who is costing my bridesmaids so much money? From my experience, I'm paying far more than any of the Bride's I've encountered have for me. I absolutely do not think less than $300 to be in a wedding is "too much". Even my Bachelorette party is cheap- we're going bar hopping and they're each contributing $20 for me and then I'M ordering food for us all at my OWN Bachelorette party. I'm also contributing to my OWN wedding shower.

I feel I have more than met every single one of them halfway. And was asking if I should go even further for this ONE BM since she has multiple people in my wedding.

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I'm confused. You said you believe it should be their cost if it's optional. It is optional. So are you saying you don't think it's right to pay for one and not the other's? Because I agree, that's why I was looking for advice. So is your advice to NOT pay for hers and she can pay it herself since it's optional. Especially since I am taking on the cost of her daughter's entire FG costs (which would, traditionally, be her cost to incur).

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Thank you, yes it's optional. I am covering the top for hair/make-up. And am fully covering the cost of pre-wedding primping (mani/pedi). This particular BM has 3 people in the wedding (herself, husband, and daughter) and that is a lot of money to put out- so I wasn't sure if I should pick up her hair/make-up and if so, would it offend the other 2. However, I am picking up all costs associated with her daughter being the FG.