Bouquet toss....out dated?

Didn't do it and many of our guests were glad! It's such a silly tradition.

We're doing an anniversary dance instead, and giving the winning couple the "toss" bouquet!

Outdated definitely!

We're doing it, FH is pretty traditional.

We're not doing either toss. We also axed the Anniversary Dance. The longest-married couple are both quite frail and likely wouldn't be able to dance. Also, our wedding is within a few weeks of the one-year anniversary of my grandfather's death. I would be horrified to think I caused any sadness for grandma on my wedding day. You just never know when grief will hit someone.

I'm not doing a bouquet toss. I feel like it's just something extra to have to plan and organize. I don't feel it's fun for the guests either because you have to single out the single women that are there.

Something to consider: you'll need to allow fifteen minutes for this. When you were a wedding guest, would you have rather spent fifteen minutes catching up with friends, taking photos in a photo booth, hearing a funny story your grandmother never told you - or watching a random group of attendees try to catch the bride's bouquet?

Time FLIES when it's your wedding, and I'd encourage you to leave as much time as possible for people to not have to stop dancing, talking, laughing, and getting to know each other... Your guests will not be bored, i promise!!!

We didn't have a garter toss our bouquet toss, we cut the cake quietly with just our photographer, didn't have any special dances except our first dance, and not a single person commented on it.

Do what you like because you want to do it - not because a DJ brought it up!

P.s., If the only reason you're doing a garter ritual is "tradition", look up the history of it- the "tradition" is not one i think most women today would *want* to keep! ......... It's an old European tradition having to do with witnesses "verifying" the martial consummation on the wedding night, - which ended with witnesses taking a piece of the bride's undergarments as a "souvenir", because this originally was only done for royal weddings, to ensure the bride's virginity, and that the marriage was legitimate.

But aside from that, I've never spoken to a woman who had to sit on a chair and have a stranger touch her inner thigh who liked it, no matter if they laughed in the moment. In a bar if a guy did that, I'd slap him!

I think we're skipping both

I guess it just depends on your guest. We are doing it!

At every wedding I've attended in the last 20 years, people have to be cajoled to try to catch the bouquet and garter - no one over the age of 12 wants to take part. Skip it.

We're not doing either. The whole thing grosses me out.

At every wedding I've attended in the last 20 years, people have to be badgered and cajoled to try to catch the bouquet and garter. Usually it turns out that the gayer is caught by a 12 year old. Skip it.

We are doing them, but alternatively. the groom will wear the garter and I will throw. and the bouquet will be break away and will be anyone that wants to join in for life long happiness or some jazz

We are doing a bouquet toss but not the garter toss. The two customs are very different. Giving some random dude a piece your new wife's underwear is objectifying at best, not to mention the implication that the groom is willing to share his bride (and that he has the authority to do so). The bouquet toss uses the common desire of many women to someday find a prince in shining armor. Women in general (though obviously not all) are somewhat romantically inclined, and like the idea of finding their soulmate and being with them forever.

If you don't want to do it, then don't let people pressure you into it. There is nothing about the tosses that are essential to your marriage. A month later the only people who will remember that there wasn't a bouquet toss are the women who think their bfs need to get up the courage to propose and had planned to use the bouquet toss as a not-so-subtle hint.

If you do want to do the bouquet toss, don't let other people pressure you out of it. The only complaint I have heard raised is that some people are offended by a game for single women. The fact that someone is offended doesn't mean there is something wrong with it. No one is required to participate who doesn't want to (unless you are one of those terrible brides who makes a really big deal out guests doing exactly what she wants)

There is a middle ground between doing it and not doing it. There are lots of alternatives online: the shoe game, ceremonially giving the bouquet to the couple who has been together the longest, or to the MOB or whoever else you want to honor, or having a "candy bouquet" toss for the kids.

ETA: FH and I were actually just talking about this the other day, since we don't plan to do either toss. He just messaged me (joking) that we should do a bouquet toss, except instead of having the ladies catch the bouquet, have the attached guys catch it to give to their lady. I thought that was funny and thought I'd share.

Saying it's like making girls lining up like 'desperate cattle' seems a bit harsh. lol. Everyone has their own traditions and quirks they want to do. No one is forced to try to catch the bouquet. I always liked playing, especially a couple drinks deep . We are staying traditional and doing all that. I haven't adopted any new traditions either. To each their own. You do you

I never liked be dragged up to a bouquet toss, why make anyone else go through that??!! I think this, along with the garter toss are traditions that are best laid to rest!

I want to do the bouquet. But I refuse to let FH go up my dress for the garter but he wants to do the garter. So I decided no on both but I still contemplate it. My mom says FH should be able to do the garter if he wants... Well if it involves going up my dress I get an opinion too. I never wanted to go out for the bouquet toss either so there's that too.

I always wanted to do the bouquet toss, but now I only know a few people who aren't married, and they are engaged. I'm afraid I don't have anyone to toss it to!

I'm not really a fan... makes it seem like the only thing women care about is getting married... There's also always that super aggressive person who knocks someone down to catch the boquet and it's just awkward then...