Bio-dad threatens not to come to wedding if stepdad helps walk me down aisle

Stand your ground, you are an adult capable of making your decisions. Your wedding isn't for a year. Maybe put off this conversation until closer to the big day. I think it is important to use your step-dad if he was instrumental in raising you, but I am sorry you're dealing with this!

Walk down by yourself. It's the most neutral thing you can do.

This stinks and I wish they could all be mature about it I say stand your ground and try to point out how ridiculous it is that they are arguing about this. Just reiterate to your bio-dad that you would love to have him walk you down halfway and that it would mean a lot to you. Make it clear that he can say yes or no to that option only, not offer changes!

I say stand your ground. I'm having both my dad and grandpa involved in walking me down, because my grandpa was 100x more instrumental in raising me than my dad, and I wanted to honor him. I haven't told anyone yet, because it's still too far out for me and I'm a little anxious there might be some stress/drama with it, but if my dad gets upset I'm going to hold my ground. Nothing wrong with honoring more than one person!!!

ETA: I agree with Lynnie and will probably say that if my dad argues- you can say yes or no to participating in that part, but there won't be a new offer on the table for anything different!

Not my story, but my mom's parents were divorced. She had a relationship with her bio dad after but her mother was the one who really raised her. So, she decided that she would have her bio mom and her bio dad both walk her down the aisle. But....she decided to wait until the rehearsal started to tell them. DH and I got married at the same church with t he same rehearsal coordinator as they did. When our rehearsal started the rehearsal coordinator said, "Oh...I remember YOU." What she remembered was their rehearsal being delayed due to the yelling match that ensued outside when my mom told her dad that her mom would also be walking down the aisle. I think it's a good thing you told him now. He has time to cool down and hopefully will be open to a mature conversation later.

Make it clear that he doesn't get to decide if your step dad is involved or not. I agree with PP to just let this cool down for a while and wait until closer to the wedding to bring it up again. When the time comes, I would approach it by saying something like, "(step dad) is going to walk me halfway down the aisle, and I would like for you to walk with me for the other half."

It's your decision, I stay stand your ground.

If it were me, I would tell my bio dad that I want him to walk me halfway down the aisle, and if he doesn't want to, that's fine, my step-dad will walk me the whole way.

When my dad married my mom he didn't invite his step dad to the wedding despite his step dads involvement in his life because his bio dad hated him. My dad has felt guilty about it ever since and said he wishes he invited him. His step dad died about a year ago, and he brought up again how guilty he still felt. It is YOUR wedding ceremony. It is so sad that grown adults can't act like grown adults. I also agree with PP about letting it cool down since your wedding date is a year out, but when it gets closer and you need to decide how your ceremony will go tell them what you are doing, and they can deal with it. But if it is going to really stress you out I would consider walking by myself like another poster said or having your FH meet you half way.

Assuming you don't need help walking, like my disabled father does, you don't need them. Walk yourself, walk with your husband, have your husband meet you half way, or ask your mother. There's no law that you have to have a male family member, to walk with you.

Pffff, tell 'em this is your decision and they can honor it exactly, or they can fuck off. It's about who YOU want at your side, not who they have issues with.

I swear, sometimes it's really disheartening to see so many brides acting far more mature than their aging parental units on WW.

It's your decision. If bio-dad is throwing a tantrum, calmly tell him he does not have to participate at all. Walk with your step-dad, or buck tradition and walk alone or with your mother.

I would suggest maybe talking to your bio dad without your step mom around. That is a very sticky situation you are in but I think you should do what makes you happy. If it were me and my bio dad tried to tell me no I would probably tell him my step dad could do it himself then. ( I do not have a step dad so its possible I am full of crap and wouldnt do any of this. But its what I would like to think I would do.) Hopefully if you give him a little time to think about it he will come around.

This really sucks. You do have some time yet, but my advice would be to stand your ground. @katie90 and @michelle both said exactly what I would have said.

Good luck!

To me doing half and half almost seems like you could (not that it makes sense but I could see where someone could go this way with it) put more importance on one half of the walk than the other. Does he perhaps really have his heart set on doing the actual giving you away (this is a "speaking part" so to say in some ceremonies)? Or maybe he wants to do the first half because that's when you get kind of a quiet moment right before it starts? Maybe he doesn't want to choose? Could you try suggesting that instead of splitting it up that they both walk you the whole way, one on each side? Personally, that is what I would do were I in your situation.

Honestly, as an adult, I don't take well to other adults acting like children about something. I don't back down either, so if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't back down and I would say that either your options are to not be involved at all or do respectfully do as I ask.

My bio dad isn't even invited. We don't have a relationship and my step dad is like a real dad to me. I am having my mom walk me down because she raised me by herself and my step dad will be dancing with me for the father daughter dance.

I would say if they can't agree with you walk yourself or have your mom, a sibling or a close friend walk you.

If your dad really wants to throw a fit about this he doesn't have to walk you at all. I know that's not ideal since you want both of them, but your dad needs to realize that you are more important than some grudge against your step dad. So I agree with the PP who said that he can agree to participate as you've asked or not at all, but not suggest changes.

Could one of them walk you down the aisle and the other do the father daughter dance? Could you not walk with both?

Since this is your second time posting about this same exact issue and I didn't get a response the last time, I just want to reiterate that you have a year to go and if you knew this would ruffle feathers, you could have waited to find a better way to explain it or to include your step-dad.