Bio-dad threatens not to come to wedding if stepdad helps walk me down aisle

Stand your ground!!

Will do @msdani

If bio dad is paying..maybe 2 father daughter dances.. put one father daughter dance in .. then a few dances later step dad dance.. don't tell them it's in the plan.. it will be to late to step in and you honor your stepdad..

@jessica M their will always be a negative comment.. we are here for each other.. ..I am sorry your going threw this. If he won't give in after a heart felt letter we can think of a special father daughter dance to honor step dad.. xxxx

My first wedding 25 years ago was long distance planned his step mom offered a church wedding he was Catholic marrying divorced mom of two little girls.. we agreed on dress to order.cake color ect.. she changed it all I had her likes.. I loved it but it wasn't mine.. we are renewing vows after 25 years.. I hope you can figure out a way to talk to all parties involved ..no regrets try to talk to them.. .. good luck

@ginger m

Thanks for your suggestions and kind words. I'm having a destination wedding and the guest list is very small. We are not doing a traditional reception so the dances won't be an option. Good idea though.

Put it across to your Dad in a different way. I always come back to the phrase "do you love you child more then you hate your ex"

Stand your ground. This isn't an event that allows anyone to reiterate what happened in family court, between lawyers, or in front of mediators. Your wedding is an event in which you have one unique opportunity to honor those who framed your life. If your step-father filled a father role in your life, then your father has two choices: he either shares that role, or he sits with the guests.

Whoever had a relationship with another step-parent doesn't matter to you. You are not looking at these parent figures through a prism of "their relationships". All that matters is how they impacted YOUR life.

Don't get drawn into their drama, and don't negotiate. This is about your interpretation, not their interpretations -- and it's certainly not the time or place for any of them to try to out do each other.

If someone is unyielding and demands their own way, you gently tell them that your wedding is not the place to settle old scores. They either accept the honor you're offering them -- in the way in which you're offering it -- or they sit down and forever hold their peace.

Amazing advice!!! Couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you!!!

So now my bio dad is threatening not to come to my wedding if I decide to let my step dad walk me halfway down the aisle. Do I give in and let him get his way just so he comes? Or do I stand my ground and risk him not coming to my wedding????

If you're ok with not having him there, stand your ground. It's not fair to you to have your father putting his emotions before your wedding and the honor of waking down the aisle with you.

I'm damned either way. I want him there but I also want my step dad to walk down the aisle. I'm at a standstill.

I think others have advised you to wait a little before making a final decision. Your wedding is a year away. Just let it be for awhile. You have plenty of time.

Walk yourself down the aisle. Your step dad is clearly understanding and knows how much you love him, and there are other ways you can honor him during the wedding. If your bio father can't be bothered to share a walk than don't let him have any. He can't b*tch either bc you won't have "chosen" your step father over him. Think of the stress relief if you just go this route! No more tears!