Best man taking over Bachelor Party...

I am having a similar issue, only its with a Groomsman not the best man. He keeps insisting on strippers even after fh and i have both said no.

Trust me, all the groomsmen are on the same page with the best man. But the groomsmen know that I mean business! The best man is about 10 years older then me, and thinks he knows his brother better then I do! Soooo annoyinggg! Especially because we usually get along so well

I am having similar issues too! My fiance says he agrees to no strippers. I am not a big fan of the idea. But everytime I am around his groosmen all they talk about are strippers for the bachelor party! Ugh it's frustrating!! Unfortunately, it's one of those things that the FI can tell them no, but they can go ahead and order one anyways! :/ Not the FI's fault, but sucks for us!!

Aw im sure you are beautiful post baby body just as you were beautiful pre baby body!

personally for me, i dont mind if he gets a stripper... but what you may want to do is approach the bil and say "please respect my wishes the same way i respect yours" than try opening up the same way you would to your FH and tell him how you arent comfortable right now and you would really like him to respect your wishes.

a girlfriend of mine was having the same problem with her FH and wanting strippers, she said "fine, you want strippers thats ok, but for every stripper you get ill get one too" her FH is a pretty jealous guy and made sure there was not one stripper there

I'm taking the whole "What I don't know, won't hurt me approach [within reason of course] with his bachelor party. I trust my FH to do what's right & if it's just a lap dance, I seriously asked him just not to tell me haha. I know he won't be out 'doing' other girls & I really like to think I'll be somewhere in the back of his head ;].

Just try to be positive about it & not to worry so much. Easier said than done, I understand haha, but if you've already communicated your wishes, I'm not sure there's much more you can do.

Also, your FBIL had no right to disrespect you, but he may not be intentionally trying to hurt you. I don't think he's sees the severity in the issue that it holds for you & your FH. Has your FH told your FBIL he would prefer no strippers under any circumstances?

I think because it's the bachelor party for your FH, and HE also doesn't want strippers, that HE needs to speak to his brother and the groomsmen and take it off the table. He can let them know they are welcome to go without him, but it's not what he wants, so they should respect not only your wishes, but his as well.

You should trust you FH to do something. IF he doesn't want a stripper then he has the oppotunity to walk out. He should put his foot down with his brother. I totally see the idea. I am still trying to get my FH to have a Bachelor party. Even if its just a round of golf with his dad and brother.

How hard of a stance are you taking on this, are you being really in the brother's face? I know that FH has a few groomsment that LOVE to push peoples buttons so whatever you are opposed to they may push simply because you are trying to "limit" what they can do.

Let your FH tell them what he wants to do for the party, there's really very little you can do to prevent the situation so stressing about it just makes it worse =(.

After reading this I am so glad the guys in my wedding party are all super outdoorsy. I would so not be okay with strippers so thankfully they are planning a fishing trip way up north at the one guys cottage. They are so far out in the middle of nowhere there is not even an option for strippers!

Maybe try to get your FH to talk to his brother again and politely remind him that it is a bachelor party for HIM and not his brother. It should be about what your FH wants and not what the wedding party wants. It seems kind of selfish for his brother to completely disregard what the groom wants.

I think its up to your FH to speak to the Brother. Also, try not to get so upset about it. I'm def not pushing FH to go to the strip clubs either, but it most likely will happen. Remember he chose you and is marrying you b/c he loves you. Do not let your insecurities get the best of you. It is just one night, don't think about it. You will spend the rest of your lives together. Twenty years from now that night will be insignificant.

I would go ape on the best man honestly. I view "lap dances" and the like as cheating . Good thing for me that my FH got the strip club thing out of his system back when he was 18-19 and now thinks theyre gross!

We're avoiding all this drama by just not having bachelor/bachelorette parties at all. We've already been living together for a few years and have two kids, our "last day being single" ended a LONG time ago. lol. So it seems silly to me.

FH and I will be sleeping in different hotel rooms the night before the ceremony, and none of his groomsmen will know his room #, just to be safe.

Two of the GMs are planning the Bach party for my FH because his brother (BM) has been way too busy to do any planning. They are going out for drinks at the local bar that we all hang out at until midnight then hitting up a strip club. I don't mind them gong because 1) I know my FH wouldn't do anything because I trust him 2) his GMs are basically like my brothers and would never do anything to intentionally harm my feelings and 3) they're only going for like 2 hours tops! The place they are going is more than just a strip club.

If you have such a problem with it then maybe your FH needs to talk to his brother about it. Ultimately its his decision on whether to actually go to the strip club or not.

This is something that needs to be between your FH and his brother. Your feelings should be considered but they need to be relayed to your FH and you need to be very specific and upfront. Regardless of whether you trust him or not, if a stripper is present are you going to get mad at your FH and if so, would it cause you to have an argument or hang this over his head forever? If so, he needs to know that so he and his brother can have this discussion. If there is a stripper and you would expect for your FH to get up and walk out or go into another room while she is present, then you need to make that clear to him so that he can tell his brother that if any strippers show up he will leave and if it's held at a strip club he won't attend at all. I would stop discussing it with your FBIL and, if he brings it up, you just need to politely say, "you need to discuss the party with your brother, not me."

Agree with Jennifer K and Honey B. If he wants to respect your wishes, he needs to express this to your FBIL himself. He is a grown man and should be able to express his wishes for his own party.

I took the "what I don't know, won't hurt me approach." I think strippers are a bit ridiculous, but I knew I could trust my DH to not cross the line.

My Fh best man is hardly planning his bachlor party. Plus I already know there are going to be strippers and I am fine with it. If FH is gonna cheat on you with a stripper that he wasent ment to be your husband. You need to have your FH stick up for your wishes and talk to the BM.

Don't worry about it. I've been to many bachelor parties, he won't care about the strippers. He will only worry about his appearance in front of his friends. BTW, here is a link for Great stag organiser for Eastern Europe

I think if you have expressed your concern and your FH is in agreement, then those who are throwing him the party should take that into consideration. Perhaps your FH should emphasize how both of you feel to BIL.

My FH’s b-party is this weekend. We've been friends for so long, and/or are currently separated by the Atlantic (because of jobs) – so we’ve learned to trust each other. I’m not worried about this weekend. He and some friends are going to Munich, Germany for the weekend starting today. The rules there for strip clubs is crazy compared to here. It would be naïve of me to think they’re not going to spend some time watching the ladies shake their money makers.

I’ve learned a lot over the years about “looking at the big picture” and letting go of the small stuff.

So I gave him two rules, which are pretty simple, they go to the entertainment, the entertainment doesn’t come to them; and no tabs on credit cards (with less than 13 days out, I so don’t want to worry about ID theft).