Backyard wedding advice

That is fine if that is how you all feel. I agree that you must most host your guests and make them comfortable. However, I have helped with a few weddings and each one we my great with a couple people helping with different simple aspects. A wedding doesn't have to be as stressful people make it out to be. Also, what is "proper" will really depend on your family and friends. My family has already told me they would rather me help me than have me pay someone else to do it. What is "proper" and acceptable for one family may not be for another family as previous posts have proven.

So basically, to sum this up (yes, I am going to say it again) do what makes you happy (which should include accommodating your guest) It is indeed YOUR day. Weddings are a celebration of love and unity.

@Marisa: since you mentioned your parents land has a barn, one idea I remember seeing was using bays of hay or straw for some of the seating. However, I really only recommend this if the hay or straw is something your family regularly uses (I.e. Feeding of livestock ).

Table seating.

@OP no hay bales please. They are itchy, uncomfortable, and offer no back support.

Agree they don't have back support but you put cloth over it so it isn't itching. I am just suggesting it as an option for additional seating. These pictures just show how they can nicely be incorporated into you decor (depending on your theme)

"Little work." No such thing with a backyard party of most any kind. Please do a search on here and you will see many stories of stress, going over budgets with rentals and more.

We live on ten acres, have a pond and a modern barn. We own banquet tables and folding chairs.

We give at least one party a year that includes 100 or so people. With all these resources, we still rent a tent, tables, chairs. We have three bathrooms so our septic system gets a workout.

We start buying supplies (paper and plastic products) months in advance. And food--we have three ovens and three fridges but it's still an endeavor to cook and store safely.

We built the barn a year before our wedding. At the first party that included it, many guests remarked that we should hold the ceremony and reception there. "No way," remarked Joe repeatedly, "Tina would be filling plates and doing what she is doing today--taking care of her guests."

Please enjoy your day!

Outdoor weddings, especially non traditional venue ones, can be a logistical nightmare. And a lot of guests will be miserable due to the heat/chilly weather, bugs, porta potties, walking on grass in heels, etc.

I literally had about twenty people thank me for doing an indoor wedding, and then start telling me about some miserable (for several common reasons) outdoor wedding they attended recently.

Goodness, no, please--no hay bales! Besides the expense, they are uncomfortable at best. Bugs and general dirt plus they stick in to your legs like nobody's business. BLORP!

I was just a guest at an outdoor/DIY wedding. It was a nightmare, I felt like I was paying her to work for free at her wedding. I think if you're going to do it, you should think hard about hiring extra servers/help so that your family and friends don't end up doing it all. I was sweaty and dirty before the ceremony even started because I was running around ensuring the space was ready for them. Having a $100 dress ruined by bussing dirty plates in the middle of the wedding was really a mood killer. It just was all and all not fun. I'd caution against it unless you have some really great hired help!

While you save on venue, you will have to pay a lot more for rentals. Tables, chairs, more decoration / flowers. Professional caterer for sure.

^^^And your time.

And goodness knows what your hair may look like. (another post)

Hay bales instead of a chair while dressed up to attend a wedding? Good grief.

I've been to some that are lovely. The cost of table, chair, tent, toilet facilities, lighting, rentals add up. Plus you say a little work, I think that's a gross understatement, all the work is on you, and your family probably gets stuck cleaning up. You can still have professional caterers and DJ etc. but they have to have a shelter to work in and with electricity. Possible heaters. Also, proper parking. It's usually more work and expense than people think. I'd keep looking for venues.

Outdoor weddings are not cheap. We just booked our venue ($6800). Churches are actually the cheapest route.

Aren't there any local restaurants that you could have your reception at?

Please don't use hay bales. They're very picturesque, but in addition to the reasons PPs said, I'm TERRIBLY allergic to hay. Like I would be leaving your wedding ten minutes into it with a face twice its normal size and very painful. I'm sure it's a common allergy too.

I wouldn't assume having a backyard wedding saves you money. It almost takes more work to make it as you said. "Feel like a wedding". We are throwing a farm wedding and it's all about the little details... Think trash cans and trash bags, bathrooms, parking, lighting, bartenders separate from caterer or not, caterer set up station, etc. I think a Day Of Coordinator is a must to keep everything rolling and organized. Hosting properly is what will make it seem like wedding!

Bathrooms. Don't forget about bathrooms.

Stephanie: I hope you offer to pay your family and friends.

First off, backyard or outdoor weddings can be absolutely incredible. I live in the Pacific NW and the majority of our friends have had backyard/outdoor weddings. It is an area of the country where many are quite outdoorsy and having a wedding in a reception hall doesn't reflect the couple in any way. So, if an outdoor venue is what you want, then go for it. Will it be cheaper? Probably not. But if you feel it is more representative and authentic of you and FH then that's an easy choice. I'll be getting married outside, with a good weather backup plan, which is very important. And all the other details that others have mentioned...good bathrooms, trash cans, DOC, etc. So in general, host properly, plan accordingly, and enjoy the process.