Backyard wedding advice

A professional caterer is a must. A MUST.

Professional caterer and luxury porter potties

An outdoor wedding will NOT save you a nice chunk of change. It will actually require many more details than an indoor wedding. I had an outdoor wedding and would do it again but it definitely is not easier or less expensive. Signed, someone who had an outdoor wedding.

My best advice is to contact a rental company and get a realistic estimate on tables, chairs, tableware, a cook tent/field stoves, coolers etc. You may also need heaters.

You might find that the estimate blows your mind. The "official" part isn't the problem; it's the bucks.

And depending on where you live, an outdoor wedding in October could make for some very uncomfortable guests, weather wise.

Rentals!

Chairs, tables, dance floor, lighting, portable restrooms, tents (in case of weather), caterer & bar service(make sure they bring glassware/plates/utensils). This all costs money, but it is necessary. Have you really exhausted all your venue options? You can have a really nice wedding in your plot of land with the proper budget, but sometimes a venue is cheaper.

We are having an outdoor wedding at my FH parent's property and I am thrilled about it BUT there are some things you need to consider; do you have enough parking and bathrooms? Will noise be an issue with the neighbors? Is there electric outside or in the barn? You will need to get rentals; chairs, tables, possibly table clothes and plates/silverware. Get quotes on that early so it gives you a more well informed idea of your budget. For us our rentals come out to about 800 dollars. Where are you going to have the ceremony? Same site as the reception or a different part of the property...this is important for many reasons but most importantly logistics with chairs.

To get to your real question; how to make it feel like an "official wedding" you in your dress, your groom looking handsome, beautifully decorated tables, lighting, a catering company, flowers, music. Embrace the setting and use it for inspiration.

We are getting married in less than one month at some family property.

It's the same property his parents and uncle was married at and is super sentimental to him.

He is so so stressed about the setup and making everything perfect. I wish we would have picked a more traditional venue.

I cannot stress how much that to make this work it is not a cheap option.

I'd say the parts that guests enjoy the most are good food and alcohol. So get a great catering company to cover those. Anything you can afford to add to your budget labor wise will make your lives easier (a day of coordinator, hired rental companies, etc.) we didn't go this route and now we have a lot on our plates because it's rude to have family and friends help with that type of stuff. They should get to enjoy the celebration instead of working. So we are spending the week before hanging lights and staging everything. I plan on writing an extensive "back and married" post after the wedding. So hopefully you can check into that board and see how it all went down!

Can you keep looking for venues? You have more than two years.

All the PPs have given you some great advice already. All I can do is confirm that it will be a lot more time consuming and expensive than you initially think. Get on board with a good rental company!

It might be helpful to know how many guests you are expecting. The size of your guest list will determine a lot of your rental costs, and as others have mentioned the rental costs will add up faster than you can imagine.

I'm doing a backyard wedding in a rented house and saving money over what a traditional venue would have cost. I'm in SoCal and it's at least 11,000 to walk into most venues, so I can see how a backyard wedding could easily be more expensive in a lot of areas.

Like others mentioned, it's a lot of work and rental costs can add up. You really have to think about all the things that you'll need to rent and how those things are going to get where they need to go. I'm so glad I budgeted to be able to hire people to help with setup/table bussing/breakdown. I won't have to ask family members to deal with all of that.

I'm still finalizing our rental quote, but I'll be lucky to keep in under 3,000 for 90 guests.

If you're getting married it will feel like an official wedding. Just have the things that make it seem like a wedding to you I guess.

I am still looking for venues, I haven't decided on this property for sure yet. For now it is a backup plan, I just want to know how it would all be set up should I decide to go with this "venue". We know our guest list, we know our demands, etc. A caterer is absolutely one of them. Rentals not so much as we are fine with eclectic feel and will be able to get lots of "donations" from family members and friends. Thanks everyone for the advice! You've definitely given me more to consider.

Honestly, unless you truly want your wedding to seem traditional, it doesn't matter. It's your day and your loved ones will be thrilled to see you walk down the "aisle". Good food and good music will make the night. And I agree with the above. I'm planning an outdoor wedding at a venue that only supplies the building and it is a ton of work and not a cost saver

Your profile says you are from Maine. When I hear Maine, the very first thing I think of is the very short warm season that state enjoys. For several years, we rented a summer home on a lake in southern Maine. One year, we rented the house for the second, third, and fourth weeks of August. Of course, we didn't bring warm clothes for the kids. At the end of the second week, the temperatures dropped enough that we went to a consignment store to buy them jeans, overalls, long sleeved shirts, and sweaters.

I just checked the average temps in your area for October 20. It looks like the average high is 57 degrees, and the average low is 40 degrees. Without heaters, especially after the sun sets, I would be uncomfortably cold outdoors. That's the first thing you need to think about when planning a backyard wedding in Maine in late October.

Secondly, having enough random tables and chairs might be helpful, but you need a lot more than that. You need linens (tablecloths and napkins), plates (usually of multiple sizes), glassware, stemware, utensils, a dance floor, a tent, and restrooms. It's either in-home bathrooms with lines or port-a-potties. You'll also need a bartender and alcohol. Catering is a must -- please don't self-cater. What about parking for your guests? What about decor, an officiant, and a DJ?

I know, the backyard route seems reasonable to many brides, but when you break it down, you'll realize you're paying the same, if not more, than hosting your wedding at a lovely all-inclusive venue. Honestly, if the choice was backyard in late October in the northeast vs. a reception at the Elks, Moose, VFW, or Knights of Columbus halls, I'd go with the less than opulent halls.

It's actually a myth that you can save money by having a back yard wedding. You will need to rent proper tables, chairs, porta potties (not very classy) caterer, servers, dance floor, lighting, bar, bar tenders, alcohol, DJ, photographer, etc...

My SIL had a backyard wedding of about 65 guests last year, and she spent about $19,000. And that was the bare minimum; she didn't add anything extra, like a photo booth or anything. Sure, you have a free venue, but it adds up to the cost of an average wedding because you have to add every single thing. Trying to keep track of all that planning is overwhelming and stressful. If you really wanted to use the backyard, do hire a wedding planner (another expense). It's way easier to just find a venue that already offers the essentials.

So I must agree and disagree with some of the above. Yes, a DIY wedding will take more time and effort. But you have time to plan and work on things. (I am doing a DIY wedding as well in 2018). Setting up invitation, layout of wedding and reception and making what decorations you can make now will save you time and stress in the end.

If you already have a lot of tables and chairs that is great. Rentals can be expensive.

One things that I really disagree with is that it is rude to ask your family and friends to help with stuff. Maybe it's just the way I was raise but my family all helps each other. If you need some help with labor related stuff you should be able to ask your close friends and family for a little help. All my family friend and even in-laws have offered to help with anything I need. Weddings are traditionally a family affair. Also, the wedding party is traditionally there to help you with things that you need. Picking them to be in your wedding party is suppose to show that you not only care about them but you trust them to help you complete the task required to execute your wedding (Hence the title brides"maid" and grooms"men"). That being said you should be able to give each bridesmaid and groomsman an individual task that you know is within their ability to easily complete.

Never be afraid to ask for help. And always remember that this is your day. Your family and friends should be happy as long as you are happy.

@Stephanie you are wrong. The moment you invite guests is the moment this is no longer "your day". You must properly host them. Your wedding party has no obligation to help you with anything. The only thing they "have" to do is show up. To me, it sounds like you're picking your party based on what they can do for you. Yuck. Just because they're capable of doing something doesn't mean they're obligated to help out. Yes, most will want to help, but expecting them to help, just ew.

@stephanie :

I'm gonna disagree that it's a good idea to ask family and friends to help.

Have you ever been to a wedding where you were asked to do all that type of stuff? You spend all your time running around doing errands, little tasks and whatnot instead of spending quality time with friends and family members.

We helped a lot at both my FBIL (2015) & my sisters wedding (2013). I didn't mind helping but I saw multiple fights occur based around wedding stress that could have been avoided if they didn't delegate everything to friends and family (instead forgo it or hire a pro or have it done before)

I don't want those I care about most to lift a finger! I want them to eat, drink and be merry.

There is one reason that some couples routinely assume that it's perfectly acceptable to impose on other branches of their family to bring this, do that, set this up, break that down, make this, or serve that on their wedding days: their turn in the rotation has finally arrived, and it's time to cash in all of those hours they spent as friendors at family weddings (whose names were printed on escort cards). This happens because a family doesn't believe that not being able to pay professionals means the couple should scale the wedding back in order to beautifully host each guest. It's not Thanksgiving, with every aunt bringing a covered dish to add to the table...it's a wedding.

Your guests, whether they are your parents, your grandparents, your siblings, your aunts, your uncles, or your cousins, should receive your invitation in the mail and immediately think, "Oh, great! A wedding! What am I going to wear?", not "What am I going to have to bring, how early do I need to show up, how late will I need to stay, and does it make any sense to buy something new to wear?".

Sure, if it's the family tradition, everyone will put on the traditional family happy face and get under the burden, but as one generation morphs into the next, someone, probably a husband/wife who married into the DIY family, will finally ask, "Why are we doing this? Why can't they just pay for people to do this -- or not invite us. My family doesn't do this."

It really is time to stop the cycle. Have all of the backyard family BBQs, holiday dinners, anniversary parties, and birthday parties with people bringing whatever they want and staying to clean up. However, there is a massive difference between an annual family event and a wedding.