bachelorette fail :(

Okay, we're all human, and not one of us wants to attend a party in our honor that can't be described as anything but a fail. For that, OP, I'm really sorry. I'm sure you felt awful.

Unfortunately, that's as far as I can go. Why in the world did you take the lead and plan your own BP? I've been circumvented by the honored guest when my job was the planning, and I can tell you, it feels as bad as being the honored guest who feels ignored at her own party.

The behavior of your honor attendants would lead me to believe that they were offended by the fact that you didn't trust them to plan your party -- a completely optional party. A MOH who shows up late -- a MOH who, you say, "pretty much didn't plan anything" for you (which means she must have had something, however humble, in the early stages, or you would have said, "planned nothing") sounds like a MOH who was offended that you got wind of her preliminary plans and decided to take the job out of her hands. The behavior of one of your BMs (and your friends) sound like they were a little upset as well. You mentioned two honor attendants -- did the rest of them celebrate with you? How many?

And, hey, if the place was dirty, it was dirty. Facts are facts. Free doesn't excuse dirty, and since you planned this party and secured the venue, that's on you (and the fact that they mentioned it only makes me more secure in my opinion that they were upset with you for controlling their event).

I'm sorry you decided to control and plan your own party, but when you did, you sent these ladies a clear message (and, as human beings, they responded in kind). It would have far preferable if you had enjoyed a dinner and a night at a local club -- planned by them -- but you took a chance. It didn't work out in your favor.

Move on, and remember, your wedding, just two months from now, will be wonderful. And please, no hard feelings towards the ladies.

Reason #247 I dislike Bach parties.

Brittany, sorry the event turned out the way it did. I'd probably give them a pass though because you admittedly put them on the spot when you planned your own bachelorette. Try not to have ill feelings toward them, because it will wreck the rest of your wedding events.

@OP - Ok. I hear you. But here's the thing. When you asked them, most of them Told you they didn't have money to do it. You countered that by paying for their dresses, hair/ makeup, etc. I am not sure where in all of this you thought that they would spend money on parties for you? With the money they didn't have to buy a BM dress? I appreciate that you hold yourself to a certain standard in what you will do for others. I want you to realize that not everyone will do things the way you do them, and you should not expect it from them. With expectations come great disappointment. I think you need to put on your big girl panties, reevaluate yourself and the people in your life. What value do they bring to your life? I don't mean monetary or material... What do these women bring to the table? What would you miss about them if they were gone? Ask the same about yourself. What mark do YOU leave?

I don't know if its a regional thing but, in NY/NJ most of the people I know help plan the bachelor/bachelorette party. Especially if its destination etc. The reason is mostly expense wise, I feel like I need to participate economically.

Sounds like Op and Cecilia have some entitlement issues.

The issue here is that you planned your own bachelorette party. If your friends had planned it, I'm sure they would have been more involved.

That's the problem with planning your own party. You should have either let someone plan it or skipped it. I had two BM's and neither of them planned anything. A friend offered to throw the Bach and one BM was able to come. I honestly don't see why brides feel like they need all the extra parties and attention to feel special. You are getting married. That doesn't make you more special. Sorry you are disappointed but maybe lower your expectations.

Oh my GOSH how much your friends do for your wedding does not correlate to how much they care about you as a friend. If you're judging your friends based off of what they will or won't do for you, then YOU'RE the one who is missing the meaning of friendship.

I'm lucky that I am an older bride with older bridal party members because they are my team. We are traditional folks. I don't have to ask for anything because they are there when I need them. Three of my party including me have lost parents this year. If it wasn't for my team I would not have made it through the year. I asked these women because they will be with me in good times and bad and want what's best for me as I am and have been for every one of them. They are not just props to look pretty in the pictures.

Saying that, I don't need to plan my own parties. Because when you pick the "rocks" in your life, they know and care about what you are up for. I haven't asked for help with anything but I have gotten a lot of help, love and support from my bridal team. I am blessed.

Definitely shouldn't plan your own bach party. And you can't complain since you planned it... :/

My goodness... I personally think that these responses are way harsh. I can sympathize with taking on the task of planning your own bachelorette party for the purpose of not wanting to miss out on the experience. I agree, it's not traditional to plan your own, but you can do what you want. So you did, and it did not turn out well, but there IS some blame to be placed on your girls for not trying to make it an awesome night. This is not all your fault, your feelings are justified but try not to let it mess up the rest of your bridal experience