bachelor party.... irritated

If you FH goes and there are strippers, then he should get up and leave. You can't control other people.

This is totally not about what you posted, but a while back did you post pictures of your DIY guestbook? I remember it looking awesome and was wondering if I could see a pic of it again for inspiration? thanks!

Is there any chance if your FH talked to him that he wouldn't do it? I know some people that really like to push boundaries but if it's your FHs bach party and he specifically (and sincerely) tells him "no, I don't want them" he really shouldn't have to worry about it. Maybe round up more people in his party to get on his side about it.

Your FH should be able to do what he wants... I don't think there's a need to cancel just because one person is being stupid. And you both deserve to have a "girls/guys night" before the wedding.

@mrsc thats what he said he would do, but i would hate for his night to be ruined

@ella, that wasnt me lol im sorry!

@nicole, the way his brother is.. it doesn't matter if he wants them there or not, he thinks they should be there, so he will make sure they are there.

Dang it, I was so sure it was you!

If the lack of strippers is going to ruin his night...well.........

He has to be the one to lay down the law and stick to it.

I didn't mind if H saw strippers (they planned to but got too drunk at the first bar to make it) but i don't personally want to see penis so I told my people I didn't want any. They had the decency to respect my feelings. It sucks that your FI's people can't do the same.

While you cant stop other people from crossing those boundaries, if said slimeball brother has strippers, your FH should have enough respect for you to leave. IMO slimeball brother is a horrible brother if he has no regard for his brother's future wife, aka future SISTER in law, feelings. That just shows that this brother is gonna be disrespectful to you in the future.

I'm afraid of the same thing. FH & I have agreed no strippers, he has history that tore us apart, so he knows if he stayed around when some dumbass brings out the strippers, it's the end of us. I trust him to respect me. However, he has 2 friends, AND new step dad, who think I'm controlling & have said they dont care what I say, there will be strippers. People like that, I believe, arent very good friends if they're willing to put FH relationship in jeopardy.

All you can do is trust your FH to love & respect you, walk out if his dick brother has strippers. Alot of women would say it's not your place, but since

I totally understand your fear, I give you full permission to slap and/or bitch at the brother if he chooses to do that

Well maybe not the slapping part lol. But if FH friends did that, I would seriously consider "it's me or them" situation. I dont care how bad that sounds either...

@nafina that's exactly what I'm saying. An we aren't talking about them goin to the strip club, his brother wants to hire the girls to do one of their in home shows, basically by the end of the night the girls f*** each other -_- it's gross. And his brother is just that way, we were actually friends before fh and I dated and he's slime ball ways didnt bother me then but now it's like wtf u need to see strippwrs that's bad go to the strip club. Don't ruin your brothers bachelor party

I told the best man to take him out to dinner get him drunk and buy a stripper and go As women we have to realize that this is when men do and quite honestly it is more for the groomsmen then for the groom. It is gross but it is what it is and if you have trust and it is for one night then dont stress. the best man bought my fiancee a lap dance but he told me he threw up his hands said he was getting married and the best man ended up getting it . (ive been giving him crap ever since just to poke fun, even if I think hes the best guy ever cuz of it) The only suggestion I can make is that you have ur party the same night as his so your not thinking about it all the time!

@anonymous the problem I have his in the beginning of our relationship he actually cheated on me with a stripper.. Forgive and forget yes but I would hate to re open old wounds right before or wedding

I agree with others... if the brother is going to get them then the brother is going to get them... but your FH doesn't have to stay in the room he can get up and go outside while they do their thing... let the brother sit in the seat with the vajay in his face.

Don't let that stop you both from having a party. Just have enough trust that your man will get up and leave.

Maybe your FH should ask someone else to plan the Bachelor party and then just let his brother know that since he didn't respect his wishes he is going with John Doe's plans instead?

I understand and it's sad that some people don't have he decency to respect other people's decisions. The bachelor party isn't about the groomsmen or friends, it's about the groom. If the groom does/doesn't want something, that should be the way it goes.

I feel like guys don't respect other guys when they say they don't want strippers. FH doesn't want any, and I think he'd be more pissed than me if one of his groomsmen had them.

His brother needs to respect it, or he needs to put someone else in charge of it, or put himself in charge of it because if his brother doesn't want to respect him, then he doesn't deserve to plan it.

I get being upset. But I agree that your FH should get up and leave if they don't respect his wishes! This whole bachelor party is so not about the groom but the friends. That's what drives me crazy.

Well, I guess I'm just here off in my own opinionated world.

@anonymous, not all men are like that. My father nor my husband like to go to strip clubs. They think it's disgusting (just like I do!) that a girl will lose all sense of dignity and pride to fulfill pigs desires to see their bodies for a paycheck.

That being said, I think it's disrespectful for spouses to do that anyway. They are in a committed relationship. And I'm SO SICK of people using the "well, they are men, it's how they are" card. NO. Men act that way and continue to act that way because people like you have given them an excuse to do so and they will always use that excuse if you will let them. Also, don't have a double standard. I know for a damn fact that my husband would be livid if I ever went to a male strip club, or saw any male naked. So he doesn't need to do it either. If your fiance would be upset with you having a stripper at your party and both of you know that his douchbag brother is going to bring

One anyway, then yes, I think you should cancel the parties altogether. I don't get needing one last "hoorah" before you tie the knot. My feelings are your last "hoorah" should have been BEFORE you decided to get together. I'm sorry, but you're in a relationship for crying out loud. You are dedicated to each other, supposedly. And when it comes to marriage, you've already been together long enough to know that you want each other for eternity so what's one last night? YOU AREN'T SINGLE. I think bachelor and bachelorette parties are a waste of time, energy, and money. We didn't have one and I have no regrets whatsoever. I've chosen him, he's chosen me. I don't understand people feeling like their lives are over when they get married. You can still go out with friends and shit, people, you're not dead. You are married. Sorry for my rant, I'm just really sick of society.