Baby at my wedding - she didn't even ask

Also, if you make an exception for this baby, where does it draw the line, everyone is going to suddenly want to bring their kids....and what if the baby comes and all your family gets upset that they werent allowed to bring their kids

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Not true. Adults understand the difference between an infant and a child. Infants are the exception to the rule.

Yes, it is. An infant’s basic needs are more important than your vision. If you choose not to have the child there, I would prepare for the friend to decline your invite and possibly end your friendship.

Her baby needs her. He is a newborn and literally eats from her body. You can't expect her to make an exception just for your wedding.

I think she probably should have asked, yea. But in general people say no kids either to save on food and seating or because they're having a wild reception. Three months old doesn't require food, they mostly sleep. Unless you're having a big raging after party I can understand annoyed but you seem passed annoyed. If you want a big wild reception then you can mention that to her and just say you'd be worried about the babies safety and comfort during a big party, shell likely get the hint. If you're not having a big wild reception I don't see the issue other than being weird to assume.
And to answer the question if someone is breastfeeding exclusively then yes it is absolutely necessary to bring the baby and asking her to pump or formula can be seen as really rude as well. I'd avoid asking any details especially if you don't have your own children.

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Exactly, at the end of the day if you are not ready to leave your baby. Then it is I completely understand, and maybe we can celebrate together when I get back.

View Quoted Comment I agree that it’s rude. Also I didn’t know newborns were a widespread “exception” (I still consider them children. So making that exception is personal). They way I see it, newborns, babies, toddlers, etc are more likely to cry. Everyone knows that feeling and reaction when you hear babies crying during quiet moments, weddings, etc. 😬 Also, how much will your friend really be able to enjoy her time and be in the moment of your wedding while tending to a 3 month old.

View Quoted Comment Not true. Not all adults act like adults. I disagree. Everyone can make their own rules.
Etiquette is very outdated

No mam! she can definitely pump prior and store enough while she's gone, so that's no excuse. Your friend should respect your wishes and don't be afraid to enforce what you want; respectfully of course.

Um lol he's three months old and she's breastfeeding. Yes, she should be able to bring him. She's doing her best to abide by your wishes and is leaving the other child home. Would you rather she not come at all?

Absolutely.

This is one of the exceptions to the rules of a no kids wedding. Breastfeeding mothers of infants less than 6 months old should be given an exception. She is trying to stick to your no kids rule by leaving her other child with a sitter. But you can't really expect her to leave her newborn with someone else. It's not like this baby is going to run around and cause havoc at your reception. He'll probably sleep through the whole thing! If she's really that good of a friend to you, you'll be a good friend to her by allowing her to come with her newborn.

If you remain adamant that this child not come with his mother, then you have to be prepared for this to cause a rift in your friendship. She may decide not to attend if you tell her she can't bring her newborn baby.

I completely understand your friend as a mom myself, my child will always come first let alone if he:she is three months old and breastfeeding. She wants to be there for you and I don’t see the issue with her bringing her newborn baby. Newborns are an exception in my opinion.

View Quoted Comment But you are.... you’re assuming her child can take a bottle, and assuming that she’s able to pump. Sorry but I don’t think you get to dictate how her child EATS at 3 months old. I think you need to make an exception or be prepared for her not to come. Personally if it was my very close friend of 20 years I’d want her to know I care about her comfort over my “vision”

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There are a lot of breastfeeding mothers. That go to work everyday. They don't quit their job so they can stay home and breastfeed for the next 5 years. So how is she trying to abide by her rules cause she is leaving the other one. If she wanted to follow the rules she would leave both or decide that she just is unable to make it.

I nursed two children and would be fine with a friend wanting to bring their 3 month old. Yes...she can pump. But when my boys were 3 months, I produced so much milk that I'd have to leave whatever at your wedding and pump once and hour or hour and a half or else leak milk all over my dress. I get that you're the bride and you prefer not to have children at your wedding. If I were your friend, I would understand that too;..but I likely wouldn't be ABLE to come in her situation if you didn't allow the exception. Now, that being said...I think if the baby is fussy or crying, the friend should go elsewhere with the baby until baby calms as not to ruin your experience.

View Quoted Comment Lol would you rather her pump during the ceremony or the reception, then? Women at work can shut their office door and pump for however long they need (if they can pump - you're assuming a lot about this person). So take your pick. Bring a pump maching and sit down at the table with you all? Haha Be locked away in the bathroom for 45 minutes? Again, she might as well tell her *friend* not to come at that point. What a friend lol

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It is your wedding and you have every right to discuss with her your concerns. I understand her not wanting to leave her baby but I am a bride that does not want young children at my wedding too. It never fails for them to cry during the ceremony or during a speech. I do have a room for kids at my venue that a mom can go to breastfeed, or kids can go watch TV if they get bored. Do you have anything like this? It may be a happy medium.

The needs of a breastfeeding three year old trump your desire to not have kids at your wedding. You’re still well within your right to not want any children at your wedding, but if you want your friend to come, she will need to come with her baby. Don’t let being the bride come before being a good and understanding friend!

View Quoted Comment Pumping could absolutely disturb his feeding schedule. When he's supposed to eat she has to find a spot to hook her breasts up to a machine and relax enough to letdown milk. What if she can't pump enough milk to keep her body making enough? What if the baby doesn't take a bottle yet?

I went to a wedding once with my 6 month old. We were both invited. I got to dance and have fun and my friends dad held the baby a few feet away from the dance floor. He danced and kind of rocked her and she slept. Yep, she slept through the loud music and craziness. I had so much fun!

When she was hungry I excused myself to find a quiet spot to feed her. I fed my baby. I nurtured my BABY. The baby that I'm the mother of, who counts on me to be there. I'm sure it would have been so much better for everyone else if I have had to leave the party to pump my breasts! How inconsiderate of me. 🙄

Stop telling women what to do with their bodies. I am so fired up over this subject.