Baby at my wedding - she didn't even ask

I think if she is a very good friend who you couldn't imagine not being there on your wedding day, you make an exception. If that's not the case, tell her you can't accommodate any children and you're sorry she can't attend.

Honestly, with a 3 month old baby, you probably have to expect that she will bring him. That is a newborn and most mothers, especially those who breastfeed, won't want to leave their children that early. I think it also depends on how far the ceremony is from her home, if it is super close then I would think it wouldn't be as big of a deal for her to leave him home just for a bit, but if she has to travel then I would say you'll probably have to decide how important it is to you to have her at your wedding! I don't think a conversation with her would hurt!

In my opinion, newborns (or very young babies) don't really count as children since parents don't typically leave them with sitters yet. I think your other option is that she doesn't come at all.

She is local and has family in the area. I'm annoyed she didn't even ask and just assumed I would be ok with it. I do plan to talk to her about it. There are a few hours between the ceremony and reception, and all of the celebrating is local, so there are options for her!

I've always heard that infants are the exception with no kids rules. I'd say if you're worried about it maybe talk to her and make sure she'd take him out of he cried, etc. If she's breastfeeding its likely that she will not cone without him.

I understand where you're coming from. However if she is breastfeeding, I believe that she could pump the night before and leave a few bottles ready. I would just ask nicely and say "I really would love for you to be there, but the wedding just isn't a place for a baby with the loud music and craziness. Is there anyway you can pump so you don't disturb his feeding schedule?"

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It's incredibly rude she didn't even ask or talk to me - I'm so tired of people just doing what they want when it's not their celebration!

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I actually began writing her an email back worded this way, so thank you. I am just very against him coming. I don't mean to be a jerk, and we are very good friends, but you can leave him for a few hours. It's just not a place for kids!

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To each their own I guess. This wouldn't bother me. It doesn't affect catering, bar, dessert, or seating chart. Anyone with a young baby I would assume would come with the baby anyway.

So at my ceremony I provided a childcare worker that worked for the venue. But my friend still had her baby with her and her baby was like 8 months old. I think some people just aren't comfortable leaving their babies. The baby may fuss but if your friend is quick enough to bring them outside before any disruptive crying happens it should be ok

I think people would understand a 3 month old going. I wouldn’t consider that a child technically. I’m sure it will be totally fine

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I'm just not someone who assumes and does what I want without asking, so it's frustrating to me she didn't think to ask first.

I would talk to her and explain that you arent having any other kids at the reception not even cousins, or nieces/nephews. I find it very rude when people can just assume that they can bring someone, and its rude she didnt call you and explain the situation and ask if its okay to bring the baby.
Id say if you really dont want kids at the reception, stick to your guns and tell her no...but that also might make her not be able to attend your wedding.
Overall i agree with you, its rude, and if i had my way i wouldnt have kids at my wedding at all but unfortunately my fh has alot of kids in his family and they live 4 hours away- so if we didnt invite the kids then the others wouldnt come

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I think this is one of those things that you'll understand once you have a baby. Not all breastfed babies take bottles, and some moms have a really hard time pumping. She will probably decline to come to your wedding and may not longer be interested in a friendship with you. If you're cool with that, go for it but babies are considered to be an except to the "no kids" rule. At three months old, the baby will likely just be sleeping anyway.

And it isn't just a few hours, you even said yourself that there is a big gap between the ceremony and reception, likely meaning that she would be gone for at LEAST 4 hours, probably closer to 6-8 hours.

I feel like it's your ceremony and it should be however you like. I don't want children at mine either and i have 2 young grandchildren.

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Highly doubt she wouldn't be friends with me any longer. Everything is local with time for her to pump, go home, whatever - and it's not my responsibility to figure out her timeline, pumping, etc. No, I don't understand and I don't have children, but at the end of the day it's my wedding and it's extremely rude to assume you can bring your kid.

View Quoted Comment Really? You want to separate a THREE month old nursing baby from their mother?

Yes, I have no problem telling her no.

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Exactly this. And usually breastfed babies are an exception to the rule.

Tell her what you said here.... that your siblings’ children aren’t even coming. Parents know that everything isn’t child-friendly and they should ask (not tell) you their child is coming. Even when FH and I have parties at our house, my friends will ask if children are invited (sometimes kids are and other times it’s adults only). So, unfortunately, there are times when parents just have to decline if they can’t make childcare arrangements. There are sacrifices to being a parent.