Babies, grad school, & work full time?

Grad school should take 3 years max so my advice would be to finish with that before having children. Trying to do all three at once would be very stressful and doing that purposely wouldn't really be fair to you or the child. You have your whole life ahead of you, don't rush through it!

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you buns?

I don't have a kid, but my close friend here in law school has a kid. It really takes a toll on her. She feels awful guilt because of all the time she spends doing homework and studying that she can't spend playing with her daughter. Plus, her hubby has a job that is difficult for him to get time off from, so she ended up missing a lot of class this semester when her daughter was sick/had a snow day/had a special event. Of course, do what you feel is right for you two as a couple, and if you can Wonder Woman it, more power to ya. But just food for thought.

It won't be easy. Not even a little bit. You could hire a live-in Nanny, but with that much going on you won't see your kids much. You'll miss out on them growing up!

Darn you laudie3a for commenting before me, now I feel like I am following you haha

I've been working full time and going to grad school part time for the past two years, and it's been a nightmare. I know that 2-3 yrs seems like a long time to have to wait, but if you can, your life will be so much easier.

What are you planning on studying? Will a thesis be required? If you do decide to pursue all three, you will need to get a ton of support/understanding from your boss. There have been times when I could not have managed if he didn't let me do some school work during work hours. Also, if you can pay to have chores done instead of doing them yourself, than do it. . . Cleaning, laundry, grocery delivery-- you won't want to have to try and fit all that in.

Ummmm just fyi, grad school is not all around 2-3 years. My FH is currently in school and it is a 5-6 year program and I have several friends in much longer programs as well.

Buns - financially having children on a grad student budget is really hard. We're waiting for my FH to finish up school before we have children but it certainly isn't impossible!

One of my BM's FH's is a grad student and she works full time as a teacher and she just had a baby 3 weeks ago. They are strapped for cash but they couldn't be happier. It just depends a bit on finances. Having one person working full time helps supplement the income which is nice, then have the more flexible grad student schedule is also nice for having a baby... but from what I've seen having children tends to add on time to your graduate program.

I hope that was a little helpful! I certainly wouldn't try to do all three as an individual but as a couple all three is doable. Just make sure you are both on the same page

I'm in the working & grad school population... And it's nearly killing me. It's a good week if I can get my laundry done, I couldn't even imagine taking care of a child. That's me though and I'm not one to tell anyone else how to live their lives like CeCe said its not impossible, but if you're asking my personal opinion I would finish school first and be stable in your career before the kiddos come.

One thing we learned in premarital counseling was not to take on more than large tasks in your first year. Working full time doesn't count. But grad school is a lot of work by itself let alone with a baby.

I have to second CeCe. If you're after a PhD or a doctoral level degree, it will take longer than 3 years. My advice is to talk to some of the women in the program you're interested in and see how/if they've managed it.

If you want it you will accomplish it all...I got pregnant at 16 moved out, got a job finished school and raised my son as a single parent and he is in 9 th grade all advance classes, also will graduate high school with his AA degree and won a 4 year scholarship and nobody ever thought it would turn out like that.! Some people say they wanna be stable and own a house and have money saved but honestly you will never be fully prepared for it all...I did it at 16 my friends are having their first at 30 now and I'm doing better then alot of them, they tell me all the time they don't know how I did it but well if you love you kids you will do what you have to do to give them the best life!!

That's quite a full plate! When I was in grad school I had a part time job and that was enough - I wouldn't recommend taking it all on because of the amount of stress you might be under. That wouldn't be healthy for you and baby. Can you wait? Or work part time?

I don't have kids yet, but I wanted to wait until my career was stable before having kids. I'm about to turn 38, have been a therapist 9 years now, so everything is much more stable, including me as well!!

I worked for a couple who had a baby right when the father started his MBA at Loyola in Baltimore (I did not know at the time but it is very prestigious and difficult apparently) It can be done, but it they both had good paying jobs and the mom worked part time so she could take care of the girl on saturdays while he was at school. It is not easy, but it is doable.

Definitely wait to have a baby if you are definitely going to be working full time and going to grad school.

When I had my first I was a single mom, I decided to go back to school full time days and work part time nights. It was hard I missed so much of my son the first year. My parents were there with all his first - when he rolled over, first word, sat up, crawled, first steps EVERYTHING. I did what I had to do because I wanted to better my life for my son (I did better my life and have a career now but I regret not being there). Me and df had just started dating at this point so me being a stay at home mom wasn't possible. Think really hard about having a baby, yes they are amazing but you don't want to regret missing all their firsts, trust me you will regret it!

Thanks for all the comments.

@laudie: I'm 23

I was working towards my bachelors degree while I had little ones, and working full time. I'm graduating next week...and I went to school, worked full time and part time, and have kids. It is possible, but I would hold off on the kiddos. It is much easier. Plus, graduate classes...yes, my suggestion would definitely be hold off on the kiddos.

@BunBuns.. I honestly think that you will just make it work.

I know a lot of the ladies on here disagree with that and told you it may be too much to take on at once, but I feel like no one is ever fully prepared for life changing things like babies, and if you wait til everything is "perfect" it will never happen.

Im kinda in the same boat as you, in school, work full time, starting the baby making ASAP, we'll make it work.

Good luck!

I agragree with aubrey and katie. I know you can do it if you want. You are a strong lady. :-)

We were thinking about me going part-time after having children, but then my degree would not be fully covered by work :/ More expensives plus children = ughh

In that case please wait! Spend money on yourselves and enjoy your new life together before you have kids! Remember you will never NOT have kids again so enjoy the time before this happens! I know there is the appeal of being young parents but you can still wait 3-4 years and you will still be young!

Obviously it's both of your decisions but I really urge you to just be patient!