B List

Then you have a very warped opinion of etiquette, because I can assure you, that you're wrong when it comes to "proper etiquette". Have a nice life =]

Wow! You called Fins as asshole? Wow! You could not be further from the truth.

Dana, you were out of line on that comment. Rude, rude, rude!

No worries. I'm not flag happy Nor am I an asshole. And my wedding was fantastic, thanks!

I think we deviated from the OP's question on how to manage her 'B' list - not whether it was right or wrong. Sorry Lizzie

Fins' was the hottest bride I've ever seen! Her wedding was fabulous!

Thats alright Fins and also you can use as much incorrect grammar as you want

I'm an example of KNOWING I was on a B list at a wedding. Worse: after not filling her tables she verbally opened the invitation to our sorority stating "she forgot to invite us". But who cares?? The point was she ultimately wanted us there but didn't have room for all of us until she got a bunch of nos. NONE OF US CARED. we loved and cared for our friend and being there to celebrate her marriage with her is what mattered. The circumstances of why we were on a b list did not matter.

If a b lister finds out they are on a b list, and is more insulted at being a b list guest than being happy about being there to sharing your moment.. Then maybe they were not such a good friend afterall and maybe they should just stay home.

People (usually) don't do b lists to have seat fillers or want more gifts, it's to have as many people there to celebrate and enjoy your wedding day with you!

Very well put futuremrsharris

thanks for your positive input

I've known I was on a B List for a wedding. Some friends who I've known for several years but don't see all that often, both with really big families got married on a boat so, they had very limited space. I wasn't insulted at all when I got an invite pretty close to the wedding date and a phone call letting me know they really hoped I would be there. It was thrilled to be part of their celebration and never once thought my inclusion was meant with any but the best of intentions.

I think in this day and age, most folks understand that we all know, love (and/or are obligated to) more people than we can accomodate at our wedding, for whatever reason. So, you invite the people you are related to, have been friends with since birth...etc, the standard criteria. The rest of the folks you care about (co-workers, etc), if they truly have any kind of relationship with you - will be a grown up (yep, I said it) and realize that being b list doesn't mean you didn't want them there, it means you had to invite gramma first, because, well....she's gramma. And, frankly, anyone who wouldnt understand that...who would think me rude, well - they obviously don't me...so I'm hot sure how they got on any iteration of the list anyway. As to not attacking...any post that says, or implies, I think I'm better than you, because I would never be so rude, well...that's rude. So, you aren't a rude bride, just a rude person. Oops, guess that statement makes me rude

It's one thing to say people who cut in line at the grocery store are rude. It's a totally different thing to say someone who is following an established tradition (be that a "B" List, a dollar dance or a wedding purse) is rude.

I'm not going to say the person calling them rude is rude- lol- but I will just say if you are preaching etiquette you really should use some.

Have a great Tuesday everybody!

Wow, I am just like futuremrsharris, I was also on a b list. I didn't bother me, guess why? She had a big family and a rather larger wedding. Sooo, I understood she had to wait to invite someone else when another guest said, "Sorry can't make it due to x reason." If you take out the "b list" title, its the same as finding out when one guest says no, for another one to come and replce their spot.

I am having a b list as well and if people think I am rude for it, well then they do not have to come. My budget is playing the cards for me and a lot of people know that my profession isn't really a great paying job, so I'm sure my guests would understand!

Lizzie, I think someone was sippin' on some haterade!

Lol yeah ladys stop sippin on that haterade lol

Chalk the ignorance of the etiquette of B listing up to immaturity and lack of wedding experience. As well as the insistence of getting the point across in every other post.

Most of us realize what the necessity of a B list stems from. Those who don't probably don't know much about wedding planning. If I found out at age 17 (just an example) that I was a B list guest, I would probably not be happy but that would only be b/c I wouldn't realize what that meant. I would take it as I wasn't good enough for the A list. However, being more mature now, it's totally acceptable and sometimes necessary and most people understand and accept that.

Dude, I wonder if Dana is in some sort of weird time loop where she has to make the exact same point over and over.

Dude, I wonder if Dana is in some sort of weird time loop where she has to make the exact same point over and over.

Dude, I wonder if Dana is in some sort of weird time loop where she has to make the exact same point over and over.

Is Dana front the knot by chance? *ponders*

Not the knot, probably high school. =]

I have experienced this situation, so I felt compelled to write. A close relative of mine was engaged and had sent out invitations to all of my close friends and immediate family- except me. Everyone (myself included) was curious and surprised as to why I was not invited. When asked why, her response was always, “Well I’m just not that close with S”. (For the record, yes I am close with her; we have known each other for a long time and hang out when I visit her town which is fairly often). This stung, but I took the high road and congratulated her on her upcoming wedding when we ran into each other at parties and get togethers. Having to listen to her talk about her wedding details was painful to hear, but I grinned and beared it. Flash forward a couple of months later- I received an invitation by EMAIL a couple of days before the big event. It read along the lines of that many people from her original list declined to come and she was wondering if I would like to attend her wedding.

Continued from the last post...

I was very offended. Being told that I was essentially on her “B” list and only given a few days to figure out travel, lodging and getting time off work was extremely inconsiderate on her end. I was so angry I did not even bother to respond back. So for all of those brides who are in favor of a “B” list I would ask that you show some class, common sense and good manners when you are deciding your guest list. The way my relative handled my invitation made me feel like a benchwarmer for a guest who she “originally” wanted there in the first place. It sucked. And for the record, yes I am engaged and I would either cut down my guest list or rent a bigger venue before I would even consider a second list.