B List

You "know proper etiquette, hot to treat my guests, and how to host a party"? Well, sure sounds like you've figured it out....

Here's a quote I found in a message from Miss Manners herself: "Having a B list is not a crime, but letting someone know that he is on it, is."

Well, I'm an example of a guest who would be ticked. There are plenty more like me, I promise. Of course everyone has different reasons for wanting a B-list, but that doesn't mean that people won't find it rude. Regardless, I hope your wedding is great.

Then you'd know that the majority of your posts have absolutely nothing to do with etiquette! =]

Wedding guests aren't stupid. They can figure it out, and that would be problematic. Honestly, if you could find a totally foolproof method, then fine. But that's not possible.

Actually, all of my posts have to do with etiquette

"I just know proper etiquette, how to treat my guests, and how to host a party. I'm allowed to give my opinion. I'm not attacking anyone" === you say you are not attacking anyone, but this could be taken by other brides as you are saying we don't know proper etiquette, how to treat our guests and how to host a party. This isn't really attacking, but it could be taken as you putting us down for having a B list.

Also with the "could get a bigger venue" statement -- some of us can't. Some of us can't afford a bigger venue. Or some of us just can't afford the extra money that the food is going to cost to, if it's $20 per plate - she may only be able to afford 100 guests instead of 150. There are many reasons to why each bride who is doing this has to do this. Like I said, in a perfect world - we would get top notch in everything, invite everyone we wanted and they would all be able to show, and save a ton of money loll

Also our venue is right where we want it its my dads back yard so we are fine with the space

That quote was in response to being called a "guest nazi". If you can't afford to invite everyone, then you have to decide what's more important, inviting everyone you'd like, or having expensive food, or photography or whatever. Disagreeing with you isn't attacking you.

I would also like to point that just cause you have a B list isnt always cause you cant afford to invite ppl

We chose to get married in my dads back yard because we love it there. not because we were worried about paying for ppl to be there

There are ways to smooth over a guest if they suspected they were on a B list and were upset... You could easily tell a white lie and say their invite must have gotten lost in the mail and you will resend another. Or something along those lines, but I think we know our guests better than anyone so we know if someone would be upset or not if they found out. And dont start of the lying cuz its just a small white lie and people do it everything. Honey, does my butt look big in this dress? No dear it doesnt... I feel like crap, do I look ok? Yes you do, dont worry about it. ETC ETC I am sure even you have told a white lie to someone, everyone does it or has done it atleast once if not way more in their lifetime

Oh I know Lizzie, just some brides as doing having B lists because of budget while others are doing it cuz of space and others are doing it for whatever reason! lol.

It's great that you love your venue. I still stand by my opinion. I'd rather not be invited at all than be invited because someone else couldn't make it. If you don't think that your guests will feel that way, then go for it. Don't be surprised if you get a side-eye, though.

I agree Kristina

Yes ppl feeling maybe hurt but a wedding is about the bride and groom not about what works out for everyone else or not stepping on toes

I said in previous post that you arent really attacking, but it could be taken as you putting us down for having a B list which means.... I agree that you are NOT attacking anyone, but you could make someone on here feel like you putting them down. Just wanted to warn you cuz people get flag happy lol

Well, once you decide to include other people in the big day (guests), then you do have to be a gracious host. Well, you don't HAVE to, but that depends on how much you care what your guests think.

Yeah, I don't want to put anyone down. Just offering another viewpoint.

Dana, every etiquette book & site out there encourages people to 'break their lists down' into categories. It's called being responsible to your budget.

I'm sure I've been on a 'B' list before and it doesn't bother me, however/whenever I'm invited and if I can attend I'm happy to be a part of someone's special day.

And I agree that you're stating your opinion (over and over again I might add). You may think you're not attacking but your little passive, aggressive 'have a nice wedding' at the end of your comments are clearly uncalled for.

Fins, you are invited to my wedding.... but sorry hun I put you on my C list sooo glad you understand...

ROFLMAO.. sorry just joking, couldnt resist... Im getting little tired, been a long day!

Maybe it's hard to recognize kindness, but I don't want anyone's wedding to be bad. I wasn't being passive aggressive.

It wouldnt bother me being on someones B list unless i was family

Clearly you havent read the vow of conduct to your right

I understand you disagree but you are kind over voicing your opinion