B List

When is your RSVP date?

Why not order 10 RSVP cards with a different date?

Let's say your venue needs the head count 9/9

Have your A list with 8/20

and B list with 9/1

We dont need a head count for the venue

and food we are buying for the amount of chairs

I put our RSVP date August 15th

two different RSVP cards is a good idea

We are having two RSVP dates, one early one for A list and one later one for B list. As we get no's on the A list we will send out invites for the B list people.

Yeah, I'm considering an A- and B-list as well. From what I've read, and like Glenn S. said hee, the majority of invites (your A-list folks) will get an earlier RSVP date and you should follow-up with them relatively close to that date. As you get No's, you can start sending out your other invites, which will have a diff. RSVP date (but will be a tight deadline for those folks, since the have less time to act).

The article I read that mentioned the 2nd set of invites was talking about if you're working with a vendor for your stationery, saying you could get the min. amount of invites made up with the 2nd RSVP date ... but since FH and I are using a DIY kit, we'll just set aside a smaller amount to do for the 2nd set on our own with the B-listers' dates.

Good luck to you with this!

I am doing A and B lists. I plan to make my own RSVP cards to match my invites so nobody knows I made them myself because I want to direct them to RSVP on our wedding site or by phone instead of mailing the card back. Not only will it save money on the rsvp cards, but no postage. So you could do two different RSVP cards either yourself or order them that way with two different dates.

As you start getting any "Can't attends", mail out an invite to someone on the B list. If somebody from the A List doesn't respond by the day before or day of the due date given on the A List RSVP card then contact them by phone or email and say something like "We would be honored to have you at our wedding! We have not received your RSVP yet and it is passed the requested RSVP deadline. We were wondering if you are able to make it? Please let us know ASAP."

I think that many people are insulted at the idea of b-lists. Guests will figure it out, and it makes them feel like they're being invited for their gift.

Being on a b list is better than not being invited at all and i dont see how they would figure it out

Yeah, you seem to think that you're doing guests a favor by inviting them. And they'll figure it out when they only have a week to respond.

Also why i was asking cause I wouldnt want to give ppl only a week to respond

a few of B listers already know they are on it

Yeah, you seem to think that you're doing guests a favor by inviting them. And they'll figure it out when they only have a week to respond, and when someone posts on your facebook (or whatever) saying "I got my invite, can't wait!". It's just a bad idea.

I dont think im doing ppl favors either

I would have them all on the A list if we had the room but we dont

I understand, and it sucks, but that's not the point. It sounds like you're set on doing it anyway. Hopefully, your guests won't be insulted (even though they wouldn't say anything to your face) and you have a lovely wedding.

I had a B list.

All my "Out of Town" guests were A list, when I knew they couldn't make it, the local (B) list was invited.

No one "knew" or "found out" or thought I was a terrible person.

Almost everyone does something like that, it isn't inviting the person just for a gift, clearly they are being invited for a REASON. It's just that you can't accommodate for everyone at once, so you try to make ROOM for the other people.

Lizze, I would send out your A list invites sooner than the 'deadline' so they have time to reply, and you still have time to send B list, before it gets too late. =]

I understand the reasoning. I'm just putting it out there that a lot of people think that B lists are rude. That's all. I don't think that you're terrible people, I just think that it's rude to do this.

Oh, I know I'm nothing near a terrible person.

You should sound like a Guest Nazi from all of your posts that I've seen. Has this happened to you personally?

Dana, as Lizzie said, it's a space issue...is it better to have a B list to replace A listers who can't come, or to leave those seats completely empty?

No. I just know proper etiquette, how to treat my guests, and how to host a party. I'm allowed to give my opinion. I'm not attacking anyone.

Most of the ppl on my side are out of town family I have two friends on the list that are in town ppl. Im certainly not worried about gifts. i just want the ppl i care about to beable to come which is why I chose to have a B list

Choosing a larger venue may have helped. You don't have to defend your decision to me. You'll stick by your opinion and I'll stick by mine.

It is not for the gifts like your previous post said, in fact we aren't even expecting any gifts. Some people have to do this because 1. Their venue isnt big enough or 2. Their budget only allows for so many guests. In the perfect world, everyone would be able to invite everyone they wanted to, but some of us can't so if our aunt in another state can't make it and we really wanted another friend to share our day with us, what is wrong with inviting them now that we have an extra spot? Plus, I dont know about everyone's family and friends... but I know mine and FH would understand and wouldnt be mad over it. I have yet to hear from anyone who had troubles because they created a guest list with everyone they wanted there then saw it was larger than what they could afford or larger than the venue and decided to do the two lists. IDK... just saying.. I wouldnt be mad if I got invited to a wedding and found out that I was on their B list because I understand the money and space issues