Awkward Bridesmaid Decisions

I can't stand my future sister in law. If you like 1 over the other invite that one. If you can't decide I'd say don't invite either one.

I think it's really sad that you'd exclude someone from your wedding party because you don't think she's pretty, I hope she never finds out that was part of your motivation.

First, you shouldn't pick your BM's based on appearance. Second, how long have you known either of them? While I think it's a nice gesture, you shouldn't feel obligated to ask them simply because they're your future in laws. BM's are supposed to be your "nearest and dearest."

Yikes. I think your reasons for excluding the 2nd SIL are really shitty. That's a really horrible way to speak about someone whose brother or sister you're marrying. Some people aren't in shape. That's okay. Some people aren't as social as others. That's okay.

I'm usually UO on this but I think it's a nice gesture to extend the offer of being a BM to FSILs if you're not actively feuding with them, even if you guys aren't super close.

1. Your wedding is too far to make these decisions

2. Rude. Just rude.

Wow your attitude is atrocious. Who the hell says "she also isn't in shape and has no motivation to present a pleasant outward image of herself"?! Just disgusting. I agree with Melissa BB please do them a favor and do not have them as bridesmaids for your wedding. They don't deserve to be around someone who criticizes them in such a hideous manner. Please get over yourself.

Your wedding is not till 10/20 so it's waaaay too soon to pick a BP but I suspect that in this timeframe, they may come to realize your shallow motivations and judgemental ways and refuse to partake... HELL maybe your FH won't appreciate the character of the person he's about to marry and run for the hills!!

Wow that's such an awful reason to exclude someone, who cares about her shape!? Terrible

Yeah it is too early to worry about this but I'd leave both out rather than picking one over the other

1) I think it's way too early to be thinking about this and making these decisions. Your wedding is THREE YEARS away. So much can change in 3 years in terms of your relationships with people

2) Are they your sister in laws as in your FH's sisters, or his brother's wives. To me the distinction makes a difference. His blood sisters I would feel more of an obligation to include than I would his brother's wife, however that leads me to the next point:

3) You're not obligated to include anyone. Your bridal party is supposed to be your closest people. If you don't feel close to someone you shouldn't feel you need to include them. If they are his sisters and he is close to them and wants him to be part of the day there's nothing that says they can't stand on his side and be "groomsladies"

4) However if your REASON for not wanting her up there with you is she doesn't LOOK nice?!?! That's seriously horrible, shallow, and petty. Bridesmaids are NOT a prop. They are your special people that you want to stand up for you and share your important day with. If all that matters to you is that beautiful women are flanking you in your pictures then just hire models and put them in matching dresses and be done with it.

Wow how rude of you to judge someone on her exterior. That's super shallow

You don't have to include your FSIL, in your Bridal party. The reason for not wanting her is very shallow and disgusting.

"...and she also isn't in shape and has no motivation to present a pleasant outward image of herself."

Wow. Just wow.

Like putting this in there presents a pleasant image of yourself...

Your wedding is entirely too far off to even be thinking about this and your criteria for excluding the one SIL is just flat out mean spirited. Maybe you should run this by your FH and see how HE feels about the way you're approaching this......

Bad behaviour aside, wait 2.5 years and see what your relationships are like at that point. Your BP should be the people closest to you; its not an obligation. Ask those people. Only one person made this awkward. You.

GIANT EYEROLL. Don't include either of them. Such shallow reasons to not include the one. I hope she doesn't find out because that's very hurtful.

I agreed with you until you said she wasn't "in shape." You arent required to ask your FSILs to be BMs. But, your reason for not doing so is incredibly shitty.

Https://bridesmaidforhire.com

Perfect for brides who share your mindset.

Your reasoning is more shallow than a $5 plastic kiddie pool. Did you check pay stubs and gym memberships on the first date?

Bridesmaids aren't accessories for you. Wow.

Yikes! that's a really gross reason to exclude her. the fact that you'd even consider having a conversation in which you tell her you're not including her because of her appearance makes me think that you have some emotional learning to do.