Asking for money, but backwards

Um, I have no idea, LOL. But can't you just use the money to buy things off your registry? Most places will give you 10% off to buy stuff from your registry up till like 90 days after your wedding date.

Oh one more thing - your wedding isn't till Sept., so most people won't even be thinking about your present till like a month before the wedding (and most like, the week before or after)

Wow...first off who is offended by money as a gift? :-)

Maybe you can do something simple like. Would you like to help the happy couple finish setting up house? They are registered at: XXX, XXX and XXX

Hmmm this is harder than I thought??? I wonder what Emily Post would say?

We are in the same boat until our travel agent told us about doing a honeymoon registry. Its cool because your guests pay for things you want to do on your honeymoon, like jet-ski or something, but the company sends you a check! Then you can use the money for whatever and just thank them for whatever they bought.

We did register at Macy's and Crate&Barrel, but not for a lot of things.

Wow, that is hard...

We are letting fh's sister spread the word that while we still DO need a lot of stuff for a house, we would rather have money to buy a house than the stuff to put IN the house...other than word of mouth...no clue

To support us on our special day you may wish to follow with tradition and bring a gift. Or alternatively you may like to help us make our honeymoon a little more special. For this reason we have chosen a wedding wishing well. The wishing well will be at the reception where we can receive your best wishes and contribution.

Here's a website that has really cute poems:

http://www.love-of-poems.com/wedding-poems-asking-for-money-as-gift.html

Carmen, I would tell parents, bridal party to say they cn use teh money too.

Carmen I know this sounds bad but do you have a close friend that has a BIG mouth?? word of mouth is much more accepted eitquette wise than it writen or stated some where..

I personally like the idea of the wishing well. It worked really well for my wife and I when we got married.

Actually, it's bad etiquette to ASK for money. Which I'm not doing. I don't see where it'd ever be bad etiquette to explain to your guests that they're not offending you.

Its a really tricky line, we'd actually prefer money but of course can't ask for it... so doing a rather small registry and hoping that most people will just prefer to give money. And then of course telling close friends and family in a round-a-bout way that we don't need much, and since they know we're on a tight budget with the wedding, I hope that will translate to "money is appreciated"!! : ) Basically if your closest family and friends realize that you'd appreciate money I would hope the word would get around that it doesn't offend you!

Nluvagin, we tried to do a small registry, but people keep calling and telling me that my registry is pathetic and i need to add more stuff, so unfortunately they don't get the hint that we would rather have cash.

We are in the same boat. We've been together for 8 years & just bought a house 1 1/2 yrs ago and had the entire inside remodeled before we moved in. I'm not even having a bridal shower because I really don't see the point & it would just be another expense for us. My maid of honor is my daughter who is 13 and my BM is my youngest sister who is 17. We do have some outside work that we would like done (patio) but my FH doesn't like the idea of registering at Menards for gift cards. He thought people would just give money if we weren't registered anywhere. I was thinking of just having a very small registry and hoping for the best. I really like the idea of the poems, some of them are really cute & funny. And I already planned on having a card box. I'm just wrapping a box to make it look like a present and using that.

God. Ive seen so much back and fourth negativity with this, I thought I would share my personal thoughts. We are making one of our step cards, inside the invitation, titled Gifts. Below that, is a “Home and Family Fund” under that, it says “The bride and groom kindly request no boxed gifts of gift cards.” Then we added “A Note from the Bride and Groom... This is simply all we truly want or need besides eachother. Please, don’t trouble yourself with shopping, or wrapping. Whatever amount you would go out and spend on a gift, we graciously request to send this way.

If you’re reading this, you are a special presence in our lives and we are elated that you’ll hopefully be joining us on our wedding day. We are beyond appreciative for your love, support, and any contribution towards our Home and Family Fund. We’re looking forward to being able to have an official nest, so that we may soon grow our family.” Our invites are formal and elegant so it looks very tasteful and put together.

Look, it’s a completely different day and age. Most couples now, already live together premaritally and already have dishes, cookware, bedding, etc. A LOT are living in apartments or smaller residences and they can’t yet afford a house or to feel financially stable enough to start a family and definitely don’t have the room to store more things. I know that is us and so many others we know! Why not request what you actually want or need? I believe it’s rude for the couple to expect gifts. On the other hand, I also believe it’s rude to show up to a wedding for someone you love, respect, or appreciate without having contributed something. Whether it be your ultimate support & friendship, a service you’re able to give, your time, assistance, or a gift. At one time or another, or for the event itself to help them out. I personally have never shown up at a wedding without having contributed as much as I could. I’m a hair and makeup artist and trust me, I do everything I can to hook my friends and family up. When I was 21 I had no money to give. (34 now wedding planning) I was bridesmaid to my friend and slept in the same bed with her the night before the wedding which completely helped her anxiety. I finagled a cute, purposeful safety pinned look for her dress that ripped 5 minutes before her fancy rehearsal dinner, and did her makeup and helped her artists with her hair. If I’m not doing stuff like that, I always give monetarily. The feed back is, they always appreciate it SO MUCH. I think being turned off by any bride and grooms request for gifts is petty. If you can actually be offended by that then ask yourself is it them or is it you? Maybe you’re jealous you didn’t do the same and just come out with it. Maybe you actually don’t have $50-100 to give, and that’s OK! ... but they obviously appreciate you in their lives enough to include and pay to include you on the biggest day of their lives, so what else might you be able to offer to them that they would really appreciate? Ask yourself, if it was you, would you honestly want a 50 dollar ninja blender or 50 dollars? Because even if that blender was a priority in your life, you now have 50 dollars to go buy it. Or maybe you’d prioritize differently on a whim. It’s the freedom that is the biggest blessing. If it was your own wedding what would you want/need/appreciate most? Why is it ok to register for a bunch of stuff that costs money but “rude” to ask for money? Why do people do things like a money dance?? Or a honeymoon fund? And that’s considered ok? Which it totally is! Literally guys and gals, it is YOUR wedding and it YOUR LIFE. You do you. State what you want in an honest, sincere way. Etiquette is what you make it. You set the tone. If people don’t like it, then oh well. Hopefully they’ll at least have a blast and will have amazing memories and pictures. Being a bride or groom is hard. Personally, we don’t have any financial support going into this. We are doing it on our own, and his family being huge, Guestlist 300. Original guestlist 550. But we both really knew we would be sad if we looked back, and never had this special day to share with each other and the special people in our lives. It is your life. People will always judge or criticize something no matter what. The real ones will understand. I hope more people will openly ask for monetary contributions. It is modern. If makes sense. It’s simple. It’s most easy on the guest also. At the end of the day it’s what most of us want or need so why be fake? Pride and traditional etiquette might say it’s rude but we have evolved. We don’t live in 1950 anymore. Anyway, I really am passionate about this and honestly, I hope this helps some wayward brides and grooms along if they’re on the fence. Do it, don’t look back. I wish someone would’ve written this for us to see. Cheers and happy planning, you got this