Are destination weddings rude?

There is no way I would travel out of the country the close to my wedding. I couldn't afford it or have time time to do it. I don't think it's rude they are having it and I think it's completely reasonable you skip it and explain why.

I don't really think that MOST people have family that lives that far from them. Most people live in the same country at least. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule.

Hahahaha, OTW. Kinda how I feel. I mean, if I had the money, I would have a regular wedding here, but we don't have that kind of money to host our entire family, not to mention tacking on friends.

And I don't like being the center of attention. Makes my toes sweat just thinking about it. DW is more than enough for me.

We have an "exclusive" invite list (of 140 people OMG!) and I'm expecting maybe 30-40 accept and book. Of course, I'm okay with no one coming at all.

I agree with SunshineJenn. We made sure our immediate family was able to go to the Bahamas. They can & were so happy for a long weekend getaway. The way we look at it is anyone else who attends is a bonus. This day is about us and we want an intimate wedding and not a big production. That is just us though. I don't want to honeymoon in the Bahamas because we want to go to Italy. At the end of the day, if you choose a DW it's not rude just don't EXPECT/DEMAND people to be there. That is rude! W are having a party at home later for those who can't attend our DW.

I did a DW and still had 50 people show up. But, I think it depends on the destination.

I'm doing a DW (Dominican) but I knew when FH and I chose to do it that way that not everyone would be able to make it. We were shocked to have 42 people coming though!

I would NEVER make any of my family or friends feel bad for not being able to make it. Especially if I randomly decided to do it 2 weeks before a good friends wedding.

I would just remind your friend that you have your own wedding 2 weeks later and have expenses and other things you need to be doing, other than jetting off to France.

Shannon, you would be surprised. Me personally: my mom lives 12 hours NW of me. My dad lives 12 hours south. My closest family members are an aunt I don't particularly care for 3 hours south and a cousin 4 hours south. Everyone else is a minimum of 7 hours or more. There are a lot of people who live like this that have moved for jobs, joined the military, or just want to get away from meddling family members.

I dont think it's rude, if someone chooses a destination wedding they need to have a realistic expectation that not many people are going to be able to afford to go

Thanks so much for your advice, everyone. I'm going to let them know we can't come and why, and ask them if they realize what they're asking (if they try to argue).

I don't think they are rude but I think when you do that you have no right to expect someone there. That is an expensive trip. That is also a lot of time off work. Ultimately, it's your wedding it's not about anyone else so if you want to spend one of the biggest days of your life thousands of miles away from home then more power to you. What is selfish would be pressuring any person at all to think they'd have to get on board with that plan and go.

Wow, I find it a little rude! Maybe not so much the wedding itself, but "nagging" people about coming. Especially if you are planning your own wedding at the same time. We are doing a destination wedding in the US and aren't asking people to come at all. We are paying expenses for immediate family (parents and siblings) and that's it. We can't afford to pay for everyone to come and didn't feel right asking friends and family to take on that expenditure just because we wanted our wedding at the beach. We are doing a reception at home for everyone a few weeks after we return. I think if they are going to be upset with you for not coming to France, they are being EXTREMELY selfish. I know someone mentioned people can only afford DW's, I find that odd. DW's are way more expensive! Could have done ours for 1/2 price if we married here at home.

I think the more extravagant or far-away the DW the more it infringes on your guests and could possibly be inconvenient or inconsiderate. But it really only becomes rude if they can't "happily accept" your "regretfully decline".

How much more are tickets to France than the Caribbean or Mexico? How much more expensive is food/hotel/activities when converting to Euro's vs pesos or island currencies? Something like a DW wedding to France (assuming you're coming from the US) is quite a bit more to ask your guests to take on than a DW to Mexico, or Vegas, or the Caribbean. Depending on the financial circles your run in, a DW in Europe seems like even a bigger request of your guests than most island/cruise DW I've seen here on WW.

I do not think its rude at all! Alot of people know that when they do a destination wedding alot of people really are not going to show up just because of the extra travel time! It is just cutting so close to your wedding, that I wouldn't worry about it at all. You will have so many things on your plate I am sure she would understand. That being said, our wedding is a destination wedding as well. But circumstances were we really had to. My fiance and I are from different states, so doing it in the state he is from or where I am from one family will have to travel. We decided to make it even so both sides of the family have to travel, and hopefully make a vacation out of it since it's in florida! Best of luck with your wedding!

I don't think a DW is necessarily rude but how people go about it might be. I agree with the majority of the peeps, that your friends should be a bit more understanding and it is definitely not unreasonable to skip it especially when ya got a lot going on already and so close to your own date! That is just crazy they are giving you guys a hard time.

For me and my guy, it has to be a DW for one or the both of us since we aren't from the same country. Not gonna lie, it kinda sucks knowing half the people we love can't come no matter where we have it (The closest family I have live back east and then his family in the UK then my mom's family in Korea)...I even considered meeting in the middle somewhere lol...but I understand that it is a logistical nightmare, and cannot imagine making someone feel bad for not being able to come. I'm just looking forward to seeing everyone whenever I can and having a few drinks or something to celebrate, lil mini celebrations all over! lol

I dont think they're rude! If you can do it, then go for it. It is unreasonable of your friends to expect you to go when its only 2 weeks away from yours. Are you kidding me??? Thats very inconsiderate!

I don't think destination weddings are rude but expecting everyone to attend a DW is rude! Furthermore, getting a passport/VISA soon enough could be troublesome for guests.

We are from Australia having a destination wedding in Vegas. We invited just under 100 guests from all over the world (Europe, Africa, America, Canada, but mostly Australia).

Sure - a LOT of our invited guests cant make it but we will have about 40 guests joining us in Vegas. Destination weddings are not rude. An invitation is not an obligation.

The only thing that's rude in this scenario is badgering and "expecting" guests to travel. We're hosting our wedding in Mexico next year. We've not made a peep to anyone demanding their attendance. If they can make it, they can make it. If not, so be it. The idea that most people live near their families is somewhat invalidated by the crazy amount of holiday travel. Where are all those people flying to. Most: home.

Sorry it's rude any way you slice it. I would never want my guests to pay 900 to fly to another country, plus lodging, and dictate a week long vacation for them. Unless they are millionaires and can swing it. I guess then it depends on the social group.

Now if people are very far away from each other within the US it's probably cheaper to have a DW within the US is fine (unless comparable deals can be found through a travel agent). For us our guests were very important to us and we wanted things as easy and comfortable as possible for them. If the bride and groom are only inviting like 3 people and they are totally cool with the idea of traveling then it's fine.

It actually costs less to fly to Mexico than it does to many parts of the country, unless you find a good deal. They'll also have to pay for the hotel, but they'd also have to pay for a hotel anywhere, and probably a car rental, meals, misc expenses.