Anyone with a Large budget???

I wish I had half that 70. I'd pay off my house and still have double my current budget.

Tell me about it. We will have to rent an apt and see what we end up with after we get gifts for the wedding. It will be many many years before we will be able to buy a house or any kind of property.

Honey I'm sorry to say it but if your living arrangements are that tight you may want to reconsider your budget and come up with something more affordable.

I completely understand. It's just the way our families, friends...have all done it. Yet no one is helping us out but have these ridiculous guest list with like third cousins on it. & My mom said if i ask her to take any more people off the list she will take herself off. Can not wait to move out.

If you are paying for it then it is your decision who you invite. Tell your mom to either cough up some cash or butt out!

You'll have to put your foot down -- maybe feet might get more impact.

I told everyone, "the person who pay gets to decide. If you would like to make my decision for me, be ready to open your wallet and purse."

I have a budget of 3,500 and have third cousins on the list. You just have to be smart with your spending. I would never spend that much without having my house, cars and any bills paid off.

Oh wow 70,000 .... wow

I'm all for a big budget, but when people start telling you how to spend your money, that really bugs me.

I was only able to invite 175 to my wedding, but if it were up to my mom it would have been 3-400.

Good luck with that!

By the way, if you do a lot of the planning, decorating yourself, you'll be good. Just get your planner to coordinate.

Also, the budget depends on where you live... If you live in L.A. like I do, a 70,000 wedding isn't overly ridiculous. Shoot, most locations have a starting point of 15 - 20,000 Not including the food. So I understand where you're coming from.

I agree with Lora 100%!

I'm from N.Y. i'm thinking we will have about 250 guest. I never had great things, but hopefully this will be my one and only wedding. So I am getting the flowers, Dj, venue, etc...the way i love it. I don't want to look back and have any regrets.

Well I wish you the best...

NY is very similar to LA in the respects of everything being so expensive.

My prices are high(but not too high) because my cost of living is high. It makes sense. Real estate prices drive pretty much everything up in price.

I can understand that..But Im paying for all the same things on a 12,000 budget.

It all depends upon your financial situation. We are around 52K, however, as a percentage of our income it's not that high. Also, we are older, we have our own home, cars, healthy savings outside of the wedding budget so I don't feel bad in anyway about the amount. Like I said it all depends on your financial situation.

This might be a time to set your foot down with your mother. I'm all for having the wedding of your dreams--but this doesn't sound like your dream at all. When it comes down to it, it's YOUR money and YOUR future. I don't think it's wise to spend 70k on a wedding when you are renting- you could easily use that money toward your future house! Tell your mom she needs to understand you are on a tight budget and unless she wants to pay, distant relatives just aren't invited. Bottom line is--- it's your wedding, your day, and your money. Don't worry about what the rest of the family has done. They aren't you and they don't have to live in an apartment with you if you spend all your money on one night. Your budget should definitely be proportionate to how much you make, and where you are in life. Don't let people (including family!) pressure you into something you don't want. You will be so much happier in the end.

I think at this point I have just accepted it. .the wedding is in July and everything already has a down payment or is paid off and booked. hopefully I'll make almost half back in gifts. we are fortunate to have a generous family. This is how they do it.

Holy Crap... 70??? Seriously???

Even IF I had that to spend, it surly would NOT be on the wedding.

@ Mariella - While I can NOT speak for all brides on here, I will speak for myself. I dont know how old you are. I am 35. Been married before. I planned for a year and a half. Total spent was around 12,000. Now while that was 13 years ago... after it was over I thought to myself... all that planning all that money and its over. What do I have to show for it? Yes, I got married, but flowers die, music fades in your mind, the dinner is a memory, the dress hangs in the closet. All that I really had left was the photos. Now, I am getting married again... have been planning for a year and a half and will only be spending 6,500 MAX.

It is not the money behind the event... it is marrying the love of your life.

Trust me when I say that in less than 24 hours the wedding will be over and you'll wonder where it all went.

Best of Luck in Life and your Marriage.

I would put my foot down ASAP, especially if no one was forking over money, And if you haven't sent invites yet, then there is time to change the guest list and you should be able to change your options with venues as long as you still use them, IE: Change to a less pricey menu, cut out some of the extras in your photog package, use a smaller less expensive ball room. If I had 70k to spend, I would increase my current budget an extra 5k (it would tehn be 20) and thats it! Use the rest to pay bills, down payment on new home or repairs on the current. No one wants to go into marriage with debt

I would personally not be comfortable spending what you are spending. I understand that it's traditional to have big, expensive weddings in your family, but when you are personally paying, I say do what YOU think is best. Although you may recoup half as gifts, that's only HALF! You would be much better off having a $20K wedding, saving $50K, and reaping $5K in gifts than spending $70K to hopefully end up with $35K.

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You really need to figure out what is best for your future, although I guess at this point it's a bit late with all the deposits and everything pretty much being done for.

No WAY would I spend 70k on a wedding if I was living that tightly... I understand costs in NYC are a lot higher than here, but a cheaper (and still pretty and elegant and perfect) wedding CAN be done on a much lower budget. You just have to get creative!

As for the guest list.. put your foot down. You mother will not actually miss your wedding because of the guest list.. and if she feels that strongly about it, then she can pony up the cash for her guests. You have to be stronger!

And in regards to the traditionally big weddings in your family.. well, just because that's the way it's always been done doesn't mean it ain't stupid! Pave your own way and do what is right for YOU and for YOUR financial situation. 70k on one day when you could put so much of that toward much more important things is just craziness!