Anyone having Jack and Jill thrown for them?

What is it?

Are you talking about the tacky wedding "fundraiser" party when you make your loved ones contribute financially to your wedding?

A party for bride and groom. Kind of like a couples shower but you don't bring gifts, there are raffles, etc. I'm 45 lol so I've thrown a few back in the day just wasn't sure if it's still something people do

Raffles that you get the earnings of?

The Jack and Jill you are describing is incredibly tacky and rude to people. No one but you and your FH should pay for your wedding. Do not host a raffle to pay for it.

So this is a fundraiser it sounds like. Absolutely not. They are tacky as hell. Your wedding is not a charity.

Well that's why I asked. People used to have them. Wasn't sure if they still did so when it was mentioned to me I thought I would reach out here. Obviously, I only received rude responses about how "tacky af" it is.

Ugh no

OP, please don't let someone throw you a Jack and Jill. They ARE tacky, which is why people are telling you that. If your friends want to throw you a party, let them throw you a couples shower instead. But any event that basically asks people to help you pay for your wedding is NOT okay.

No one was rude. You however would be if you had one.

"People used to have them" - only in very specific regions / pockets of the U.S. and Canada. They are definitely not done everywhere. You will find many people on this forum who have never heard of them. And being regionally common still does not make them ok.

I don't get why people ask for advice and when they get exactly what they asked for, complain about how it should have been sugar coated or that people could have "been nicer about it".

I'm not sure OP mentioned anything about a fundraiser... Jack and Jill is a term I've heard used with a shower for both the bride and groom, but still a bridal shower none the less. A friend of mine got married a few years ago and her sister threw a Jack and Jill shower, they had games like any other shower, food, and a present opening hour. That's it. No money requested, none given.

If you have the crowd for it, Jack and Jill's are fun, just make sure whomever throws it doesn't think of fundraisers.

ETA: I didn't see the comment about not bringing gifts - definitely a no on that, but a couples shower is fine.

I hadn't heard of these until I was on WW and they are not popular at all generally.

And people saying it's tacky isn't rude, it's an opinion OP and you can't tell people how to post on the internet.

Some people have said they're common in their circles, but I would never go to one personally.

They're not a thing in my area although my family still lives in a place where they are. I think they're tacky. You're not a charity so why would your friends throw you a fundraiser. The only way I think that's acceptable is for unforseen medical expenses. But to just give you money to throw your wedding?

OP literally said "kind of like a couples shower but you don't bring gifts ... there are raffles"

So no she's not talking about a couples shower (which is 100% fine)

My brother got invited to one once - he lives in Boston. And he STILL talks crap about how ridiculous it was lol I had never heard of them before he explained it to me. You're sooo much better off not doing this. It just screams tacky to me.

I had never heard of a Jack and Jill party before WW. I would just decline the offer to have one. I think I would be entirely too embarrassed to be part of one.

Ive actually never heard of it, but I think its to each's own. If its something your family is planning for you, I dont see why not. Everyone has their own opinions, but it sounds like your MOH is the one bringing it up and not you so I dont see anything tacky in it. Sorry for the rude responses you received. I think October would be perfect as it allows you a couple of months before your month.

I think there have been a few people ask this and it seems in each case the term Jack and Jill party means something a little different. A couples shower is entirely fine - if that's what this is - and, of course, if you're not planning it yourself. I think however if it's a fundraiser sort of thing I'd not want to do that as that part of it is kind of tacky. BUT - I think it's a regional thing. Many things that others think are rude and tacky are commonplace and expected in some places. I grew up in an area where dollar dances were at EVERY wedding (no, I'm not doing one) and it was expected........however you bring that up here and it's another story.

So, my response, as in the beginning - if it's simply a coed shower someone is throwing for you then go for it.