Anyone having family drama during wedding planning?

Sorry you are having to deal with this. I am also having a fusion wedding with some characteristics of a "Christian" wedding. However, I made it clear to my family from the start that since FH & I are paying we will do what makes us happy. I know it's not fun having to deal with close minded family members, but is there anyone you can speak to that can speak up for you? Like will any of your siblings take your side?

So what religion are you? And what would be that religions order of ceremony? Could you maybe *gasp* compromise and include some things that would make your family more comfortable.

We had a non-religous ceremony but included some things to make Hubbies Christian family feel more comfortable!

Order of events?

You walk down, guy says do you? you say you do. kiss. walk back up the aisle...

What exactly makes it a Christian ceremony in their eyes.

Is anyone NOT having family drama?

Where are you getting married and who is officiating?

If it is at your reception venue or other "neutral turf" and you have a civil officiant -- there's no problem.

We had a mixture of religions in our ceremony. Trying to please everyone will make you crazy! In the end I just kept telling people that our ceremony was personal to both of us and reflected both cultures as best as it could. It turned out beautiful.

I think my parents saw me marrying someone not of their faith and not having their idea as a traditional ceremony as me throwing away everything they taught me. I had to sit them down and explain to them that I wasn't 5 anymore, and as I grew up, I developed my own ideologies, but still respected and was grateful for everything they gave to me.

The younger 4 siblings contacted me and said they are still coming to the entirety of the wedding. That gave me solace. One of my brothers spoke up for me and the older sister berated him and bitched him out.

I hate how I'm being treated. We are paying for the entire wedding ourselves too and I said the same thing from the very start... we are going to do the wedding how we want it. To keep things neutral, we decided on a non-religious ceremony - more American style. I told them there is no prayer, no church, no mention of God, no unity candle, or sand vase... it's so ridiculous. And still... driving me freaking crazy. I don't even know where the name calling came from... saying I am disrespectful and have no values. So dumb.

My parents are buddhists. His is presbytirian. To make things easy, we said no religion in the ceremony at all. The order of events is walk down the aisle. Officant says some words. Repeat after me. Say I do. Exchange rings. Walk the aisle again. Done.

I just don't get it.

And we are getting married at a winery. That is not a religious place at all.

Tell them the way they are acting is not on the path to enlightenment!

Your wedding is so close! It's not like you are at the beginning stages of planning! I think you made the right decision to make it non-denominational. It seems most fair. I would just let it be. I pray that they come around for you and your fiance. You only have one family. Weddings bring families together for the sake of the love shared between two people - No more sad!!

How sad, I hope things work out for you and I would tell them to stop acting like spoiled kids who don't get their way. Pretty sure no religion says abandon your kids because you don't agree with them or their wedding plans. In the end your siblings will be there and hopefully your parents. It is in their court and hopefully they choose to come to support you and your marriage

This all makes me very sad. I'm not out of line, right?

At this point, I can care less if my parent’s and older sister comes to “my stupid ass wedding” (that's my older sister's words). I don’t even want them there.

I am sorry that this is happening so close to the wedding. They don't seem to understand that you are trying to keep things as fair as possible. Being in the middle of two religions is never fun (I understand - my mom's family is predominantly Muslim and my dad's is predominantly Catholic) but I really hope they can put their opinions aside for you and your FH's special day.

Just seek solace in the fact that you guys have done your absolute best to accommodate but now its time to focus on you two. This is your day and a winery wedding sounds absolutely amazing.

Does your FH family have any issues with your wedding being non-religous or is it just your own family?

Tell your sister : Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned

As hard as it is, try to ignore their messages and threats and revel in those that choose to celebrate with you. they are the ones who will be missing out. hugs!

Bravo to your siblings that are supporting you! I will never understand family that takes the stand 'you aren't doing this our way, so you are being disrespectful'

I saw if they are going to boycott if you don't do it their way, then let them. do it the way you want and quit trying to please everyone!

I'm so sorry-- it's the last thing we need *ever*, and especially not right before the wedding! To answer your original question, my FMIL announced that since she was paying for the rehearsal dinner, my FFIL would not be invited to it unless he paid a bunch of child support he owed her. Really? DH is 26 and you're going to pick this fight *now*?! I told her if she couldn't afford to host everyone at the dinner, let us know and we'd help pay but we wanted FFIL there, so he'd better be there. *And* that if she'd better never try to use me or DH to hurt FFIL again. He came to the dinner and that was the end of that.

Weddings bring out all the ugly in family and friends. i wish i had've read on this site BEFORE becomming engaged and making wedding plans. i would've eloped super fast! my wedding has been nothing but drama...right up to this past weekend...i've now decided my father can't walk me down the aisle because he's such a douche bag.

sorry you're going through this. XXhugsXX

You are not out of line at all! Your family members are the ones being absolutely ridiculous. I am sorry you are going through this. I think everyone deals with family drama while planning a wedding, but this is a bit more serious. I hope your parents and sister come to their senses and don't skip your wedding.

My older sister sent out 4 more emails detailing how I am a horrible person with no values and I'm disrespecting my family. I ended up deleting the latest email immediately without reading. I also removed her contact information from email and phone. I just can't handle her harrassment any longer. I know she is the voice for my parents so the hostility is from them as well.

We are doing a non-religious ceremony at a non-religious site to keep it fair to both families. Only my family has issues. FH's family is perfectly fine. FH's parents also said there is nothing religious or Christian about any of it and my parents are being ridiculous.

I have to remember that I do have my FH's family and my younger siblings' support. Thank you everyone for your kind words. It's day three and I was feeling really depressed... but after reading everyone's comments I feel a little better.