Anyone else's FH not excited?

My FH wasn't excited or any help at all until now, 12 days away. I guess men just arent into this kinda thing

My FH isn't really into it. I showed him some sample StD magnets and he hated all the pictures I used. His family doesn't do big weddings, so he kind of doesn't see the point of spending so much money on one day. I'm hoping elements that interest him (food, cake, subtle nerd elements, more food) will make him happier and more involved. We're also like 10 months away, so most of it for him is $XXXX we have to save every three months to pay another part of it.

On the other hand, his elderly patients are very happy to chat with him about weddings now that we've got a date (we were engaged for 4 years without a date).

It sounds like he just doesn't want a big wedding. What do you want? Would you be okay just going to the courthouse like he suggested or do you want to plan a wedding?

Personally, enthusiasm or not, I find him tell you that you're "imagining whatever you want to see" to be a bit concerning. Your feelings are valid, especially when it involves his involvement in your upcoming wedding/marriage, and it shouldn't automatically be dismissed as you imagining things. You both need to hear each other out and trust that the other person is telling the truth. It's ok to be not super-enthusiastic about the wedding, but not being respectful of your feelings sends up a red flag, in my opinion. I'd definitely consider looking into either some pre-marital counseling (if you can get him to agree, that is!) or at least taking a step back to work on your communication as the marriage approaches.

ETA: I'm also totally with Nikki on this... In my eyes, wedding planning is not some how automatically my responsibility and FH gets to decide if he wants to help or not. I'm more organized and on top of things than he is, so I'm the "Leader" who figures out what needs to be done and when it needs to happen, but after that, who does the tasks is split between us. If my FH wanted a big wedding and didn't want to help at all, there wouldn't be a wedding.

My FH, don't get into detail, when I talk to him about it. He just gives his opinion, and let me decide on most of the stuff, except for food and rings and the cost. But other than that. No, but he do show, that he's excited that, I'm going to be his wife.

My FH's eyes literally glaze over whenever I open my mouth about something wedding related. The last time I mentioned a vendor I was considering, he cut me off mid sentence and said "how much does it cost." Lol. We are paying 100% ourselves and he is footing more of the bill than I am able to do, so I guess I understand. Just today I was teasing him about how he's not gonna be the type of guy that cries when he sees me coming down the aisle and he responded " I'm gonna be the guy that is thinking about how many dollar bills you spent to wear something for a few hours of one day."

Long story short: a lot of guys don't care about wedding stuff. They just want to be married and be happy.

My FH has no interest in planning. He has thrown out an occasional idea but couldn't care less about colors, decor, flowers, etc. It used to bother me but that's just him. He's very low key about everything. He would have been fine going to the courthouse. I say don't stress it. If he didn't want to marry you he wouldn't have asked.

FH proposed to me in December of 2015. I went balls to the wall talking about the wedding and planning, etc etc. This overwhelmed him big time. I simmered down, and then randomly one day, in May of 2016 (so about 5-6 months later) he mentioned an idea for a wedding cake out of the blue. I kinda took this as my initiative to dive into planning. That month we booked the venue, and by now, we've booked our photographer, caterer, and DJ. He's met all of the vendors with me, and we're going for our cake tasting next week! My advice is to let him come around. He talks about the wedding sparingly, but gives me input when I ask for it (or sometimes even at his own accord!)

Smile! He loves you. Some people just aren't into the planning thing, nor do they have a big vision.

Sounds like you speak different love languages. Read up on it, you need to learn ways to communicate better. He needs to learn to show excitement and you need to learn that his actions speak louder than his words, in his mind.

It's a guy thing.. Well for most guys at least. As most women dream of this day happening, guys don't. My FH doesn't care about the added details, he just wants to say I do and be married. If it were up to him, we'd be having a courthouse wedding. But he knows that I've dreamed of being married with my friends and family surrounding, so that's what we're doing. Plus his mom would have his head if we did a courthouse wedding.

Also been engaged since march. The wedding is brough up whrn i bring it up. He did propose right? They took thought. I started my planning. Me. Not him. I imagine most/all wedding happen this way.

My FH is excited for the wedding and involved in all the planning because he wants to be. Posts like this remind me how lucky I am to have a man that actually wants to be involved in planning one of the most important days of our life together.

My DH wanted to be married, he could have cared less about the wedding. It was my show, not his.

My fiance doesn't show much interest. He comes with me to all of my appointments or anything I ask him to dio. But I have to ask him he won't do things by himself. He's mostly concerned I don't spend to much and about paying for things. Try to be patient this isn't really a guy thing. Just try to involve him as much u can. Weddings are mostly a woman's thing. I would hate it if he wanted to call the shots. Look at it this way u plan it how u want.

FH gives me opinions on wedding planning but he basically just agrees with everything I ask. But he is SO excited for our wedding and to be marred to me, he wishes it was sooner.

I feel like most of my friends and sisters husbands didn't care about all that stuff when they got married. They basically all said "just tell me when and where and I'll be there". I was floored when my FH wanted to be involved in every single decision! I think t just depends though. I don't think he doesn't want to get married or that he doesn't care, it's just not his thing.

After we got engaged I just took the reins and began planning. I never really asked if FH was ready to begin planning lol. I have never read that Love Languages book but I would think that would be really helpful. I know from simply planning vacations with FH that he likes when I present him with a couple ideas and I get his input on what he prefers, so that's basically what I did with wedding planning. I've done a lot of the research and then I'll put everything together to show him a few options and it makes it really easy and fun for us.

Honestly, I think it's completely normal. My FH isn't doing the planning, however when I scheduled appointments to look at the venues he did go. He has went to the food tastings too. As far as talking about it he listens but has no input really. The other day I was showing him some pictures of bouquets and he said babe you know I have no idea on that stuff so whatever makes you happy is perfect. At the end of the day you'll be married.

Come right out and ask him if he is excited to marry you I have an the answer was absolutely.

FYI- My FH said he was never getting married and he's 42 but you see that changed.

OP - have you ever heard of something called "love language"?

The premise is around how different people show love in different ways. Like you need the words where your FH shows it in actions. If counseling is not an option try the book. Or at least go on line and find the checklist. Maybe this way will help you under your FH better, and maybe he will learn something about you as well.

My DH and I lived together for close to twelve years prior to our wedding. It took him ten years to propose. I think in situations where you've lived like you're already married for years, this gives the message that making it official isn't a big deal. Before DH proposed, I finally sat him down and told him that I would no longer act like his wife if he didn't care to make it official. I told him why it was important to me and it was like a light bulb came on. He proposed within a few months. Maybe you just need to explain to him that not having a set date is making you feel like it's never going to happen and then ask him to set a date with you. Good luck!