Anyone else's FH not excited?

It sounds like your love language is words of affirmation and his is physical touch/acts of service. That's how my FH and I are, so we learned how to go about each one. We communicated what we needed from each other and it helped a lot. Guys don't think the same way we do so it's harder for them to use words to show love. Sometimes I'll be having a hard day and I'll ask FH to give me a peptalk. You need to straight up tell him what you need from him because it's not fair if you're trying to make him guess (not saying you are, I don't know enough of the situation). I definitely agree that you guys should go through that book together. Good luck!

When it came to planning our wedding, I had to physically force my DH to talk about it. And he would, under protest. It got to the point where I hated talking to him about it because I knew it would be a battle, and once he did start making decisions, I didn't like them. LOL.

Part of the problem is that he's a guy. What ever makes you happy, because most of them would be happy going to the court house and saying 'I Do' with just a few close friends and/or relatives. For my DH, he also hates being center of attention, so he hated planning a party where he was center of attention.

FH told me no more wedding talk until the wedding month. Guys just don't get excited. I planned by myself because he didn't want to and I just told him things I was going to do.

Mine gets mad every time I ask him to help plan because I'm soooo confused

It's normal. My husband was the same way.. All he was excited about was the honeymoon, the cake and the food. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or want to marry you. It's just most men aren't that into planning. They don't get why you start planning for this event so far in advance.

Yeah he did mention that he'd be happy to just go to the courthouse tomorrow.

He just doesn't want to plan an actual wedding. I tried to meet him in the middle and ask to do an elopement type of thing, which he seems ok with. He just wants it to be like a vacation, so it has to be planned so we can have off for like a week.

@marie, have you thought about a destination wedding then? He may get more into that

Hm. My FH has planned most of our wedding, I know he's excited about it but he doesn't flaunt it around so to speak (like, gets excited about planning stuff with me but doesn't talk about it to his friends or make grand posts on social media, stuff like that.) Everyone's different, I don't think it's a MAN BEING A MAN thing because I'm a woman who doesn't act like a typical woman regarding wedding stuff, but I think if something hurts your feelings he should be able to have an open conversation with you and not just chalk it up as "you see what you wanna see and make this up in your head", wedding stuff or anything, really. :/ I guess I can't offer advice because I don't really know him but maybe try to see if you guys can work on your communication (someone above mentioned premarital counseling, if he doesn't believe in it then maybe someone here can suggest some strategies?)

I second @Sailaway's suggestion - you should both read the 5 love languages book. It seems like you guys need different things from each other relationship-wise and that you both need to learn how to give that to each other It's a great book!

FH has a few things he's interested about and he genuinely listens whenever I talk about wedding stuff but he doesn't get as excited because he's trying to understand how it's supposed to work. He's never been to a wedding and I've only been to one so I've reassured him that I'm mostly playing this by ear. Once he realized we were fairly clueless and that I was working off from social clues and what I've found on Pinterest, he became a bit more excited about figuring the stuff out with me. He was even more excited when I joined WW and could better explain stuff from what I've learned on here. But mostly, he says he doesn't really care how the wedding goes. He cares about us being married at the end of the day.

My fiance is in to every part of wedding planning. He has opinions about EVERYTHING. I would hate if my fiance didn't show as much enthusiasm as he does. It shows how much he loves me and how excited he is to marry me. To me that would be concerning.

@LoveyouMoore I dont think your FH is the norm.... nor do I think it means hers doesnt love her. She doesnt need to be "concerned" about anything except their communication and getting this wedding planning started on her own.

My FH doesn't show interest in wedding planning either. He only cared about the venue and then he was over wedding planning. He wants to marry me and he makes that clear, he just isn't interested in the planning. I think as long as he shows you he wants to be your husband then I wouldn't worry about it! I know it's frustrating but I think a lot of men just don't understand all of the craziness!

I hope it gets better!!

When we first got engaged and started looking at vendors, FH was SO overwhelmed. I thought he wasn't excited, it turns out he just didn't really understand everything that goes into planning a wedding

I asked him to list his top 3 priorities for the wedding and he came up with music, food, booze. So he has been heavily involved in those choices and everything else I pretty much let him decide if he wants a say.

Is "making cute jokes" something your FH usually does and you're upset he's not joking about the wedding? I don't really get this particular thing you said. Just know that guys don't always get as caught up in the wedding and that's okay

Some guys just don't care about the wedding, and that is totally fine, its just a big and expensive party. As long as he is excited to be married to you, I think you're in good shape.

You guys definitely have some communication issues though I think need to be addressed. I recommend the 5 Love Languages, because you guys aren't speaking the same language.

Just start planning things on your own (its okay), ask for his input on the big stuff. He will start to notice. He says actions speak louder, show him with your actions that you're serious.

ETA- saw PP mentioned 5 Love Languages after i already commented. Go WW people!

I'm blessed FH wants to be involved, I'm not making any decisions without him (except for my dress and such)

I think from what you have said I wouldn't be that concerned with your relationship. He talks as if he loves you and wants to marry you just not big on the wedding. I definitely feel like him some days lets go to the courthouse and get it over with.

Have you stopped to think that maybe money may be a issue. You guys just bought a house a couple of months ago now it is time to plan a very very expensive party that may be seen as a unneeded expense when the court house and done for less than $100.

I had this same issue with my FH. I sat him down one day and let him know that I felt like he just didn't care about the wedding and he told me honestly "Kasi, right now I don't."

He said its really hard for me to get excited about something that is so far out.

However, now, with 24 days until the wedding he is starting to show excitement. He is getting more emotional and more love-y as well. He told me yesterday "I'm getting really excited for our wedding now" and this is because he can see it. He can see the date coming up and its a "real" thing in his world now.

I really just think this is how men operate sometimes. They are excited, but they just are not as excited as we are.

My FH is lowkey excited, but our wedding is in like 10 months. You can't be THAT excited for that long. You have to have a life also.

Mine is the same way. He honestly doesn't realize all the things that need to be done so far in advance for the wedding to go smoothly. I mainly try to ask him about things he cares about like music and food, and just give him general updates on other stuff. The other day he told me he is really excited to marry me, which I thought was so sweet!

My FH sounds very similar "Actions Speak Louder than Words" etc... so he isn't overtly excited, but it's how I expect him to act because he is the same way with emotions in general. He put a lot into planning the ring and surprise proposal however, so I know that when it comes down to it he is excited to marry me. He's also super shy so he's nervous about being the center of attention so that probably contributes to his lack of outward excitement.