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Jessica
VIP October 2019

Am i over reacting? Opinions please! Photographer issues.

Jessica, on June 27, 2019 at 4:24 PM

Posted in Planning 115

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THE WHOLE THING, PLEASE AT LEAST READ MY QUESTIONS AND FINAL STATEMENT AT THE END! I will make this short and sweet as possible, while still providing the details. I thank you in advance for taking the time to read and reply. First I'd like to say I am NOT AT ALL a...
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THE WHOLE THING, PLEASE AT LEAST READ MY QUESTIONS AND FINAL STATEMENT AT THE END!

I will make this short and sweet as possible, while still providing the details. I thank you in advance for taking the time to read and reply.


First I'd like to say I am NOT AT ALL a bridezilla. Im laid back, go with the flow, doing the vast majority of the wedding by myself. I also am a people pleaser BIG time, I hate for anyone to be upset, and I have a REALLY HARD TIME sticking up for myself.

Now, on to the story:

I've known my photographer for quite a while, and we are somewhere between friends & acquaintances. We normally message on FB a few times a year.



She did my pregnancy pictures almost 12 yrs ago when she was first starting out with photography and they were great. Absolutely loved them.

I instantly knew I wanted her for all bridal/wedding pics. We met up, discussed what FH & I wanted, and costs of different packages. We came to a decision on the 4 hour package + 1 extra hour + Bridal portraits. This was supposed to total $1,000.00.



SHE SAID AND OFFERED to apply her family/friend discount of 25% off which we were not expecting but thought was very nice of her. This is not anywhere on her business website or her card, so I would not even know about it if she had not told me. She said this would bring us down to $750 + taxes.

The week before my bridal portraits she sends me the invoice via email which allows me to put down a deposit (which I did). Before paying deposit I look over the invoice and note that total amount is $1,537.50. Double the amount I was anticipating.

So, I don't say anything, maybe she changed her mind or forgot but either way I don't want to make any waves. Plus, the price is still better than most photographers.

Its worth the price to have beautiful lasting memories, right?

On the invoice she has $175 for Bridal portraits, $250 for extra hour, and the rest was state sales tax.

Now, I know to many of you $1537.50 isn't alot of money, but to me it its hard to justify spending that much money on one single thing. If not for my fiance surprising me and buying my wedding dress for me (it was $2,000 & I wanted to stay under $500) I would probably have a dress I hate bc I just wouldn't be able to spend that much on 1 single item.

Anyhow, The plan was to do my portraits at a location I found on the river with dock and oak trees, very beautiful and very much my style.

If it rained, the plan was to go to my FILs house and do pics on the porch, covered deck and inside the house. The house is over a hundred years old and I absolutely love it.

Well, on portrait day, she's heading to my house to meet, and I tell her its raining but she insists we go the 2 miles down the road to see if its raining there. We get there and the sky is dark, looks like rain any second, plus its thundering. She says its fine let's start pics. About 4 minutes after were shooting, here comes the rain. I suggest going to FILs but she says its fine it will just blow over. It did not blow over. She attempts to do pics for about 20 more minutes then says ok were done.

Remember, me not being confrontational, and I trusting that she is the professional? So, I say ok.

That night she sends me a sneak peek, 3 pics that i love, and Im so relieved. This was a Saturday night. On Monday afternoon she emails me the album of pics. There was 53 pics total. Out of 53 there were about 10 that I liked. But there were only 3 I would actually use or even post on FB.

When I asked where the other pictures were she sends me 2 more saying the resolution or something was off.

Idk what to even say from here.

So heres what I want to know from y'all:
1. Isn't the point of hiring a photographer to make sure your pictures are PERFECT? Isn't that what Im paying all this money for?
2. Why did she only get 55 pics when my MOH got 96 on her iphone and I honestly liked those better?
3. Isnt 25 minutes kinda short for a bridal shoot? Ive spoken to 2 other professional photographers (both in the same price range and neither that I know) and they have both told me about 1 to 1.5 hrs for bridal portraits is their norm.
4. Do the poses not look unnatural to you? My Maid, Matron and another friend were all present and helping at the shoot and all said the poses looked 'off and unnatural'.
5. Shouldnt there have been more than 53 pictures? I asked her months ago and she said normally after the "bad pics" are thrown out, the bride has anywhere from 55 to 85 pictures, but that she normally takes well over 100. I only got 53, and of those 53, several are not usable and several are exact duplicates with one in color and one in black and white.
6. I am not questioning the QUALITY of the actual pics. When you put them side by side with the iphone pics they are hands down better. But, the poses or other imperfections are what is bothering me. The iphone pics had AWESOME poses.
7. Out of 53 pictures, I only have 3 that I would actually use. I knew I wouldn't like them all, but I expected to be able to use at least 25-30% of the pictures. Is it normal to only have this small amount of usable pictures?
8. How do I tell her I am not using her for the wedding now? I do not in any form trust her with my wedding pictures. When my MOH showed her parents (whom I am very close with) they called me that night and gave me an email address of another photographer and told me to call and schedule my portraits, that they had already paid for a bridal portrait shoot for me. They were that disappointed with the pictures. Which totally shocked me because I kept thinking it was either me or I was just overreacting. Also, we have not yet signed a contract. She told me we could just do it later before the wedding, so, I don't care about the deposit. She can keep it. Just how do I tell her Im not using her now?

9. Most importantly, am I overreacting?

THEN, to make MATTERS WORSE, I think she could tell thru our messages that I was not thrilled with them. So, she decided to call me, which I appreciated.

She starts off by saying she is "willing to reshoot the pictures" and then says, and this is a direct quote:
"I KNOW YOU WANTED TO DO YOUR PICTURES EARLY, BUT MAYBE WE CAN RESHOOT THE PORTRAITS IN SEPTEMBER. MAYBE BY THEN YOU WILL HAVE LOST SOME MORE WEIGHT AND WILL BE MORE CONFIDENT. HOPEFULLY YOU WILL LIKE THEM THEN. "
Did she just blame me for not liking the pictures?

Also, as for the pictures posted, I could have kept going and adding more I was not pleased with.

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115 Comments

  • MrsJohansson
    Expert June 2019
    MrsJohansson ·
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    Sorry to be harsh but you are an adult who has choices. Most people would reschedule but maybe there is more to it than you've shared. I just wouldn't have shot in the rain then complained about wet hair / getting shots with wet hair. There is a lot.. A LOT this person could and should have done better but you have a voice too. I hope your next experience will be better.

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  • Jessica
    VIP October 2019
    Jessica ·
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    Wow 500 pics in an hour? And these look really good.
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  • Jessica
    VIP October 2019
    Jessica ·
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    There is NOTHING I haven't shared. It was important to me for maid and matron to be there, as they both live out of town/state and they're my only family. When we saw it was raining, we were supposed to go to FILs house. The photographer was the one who insisted we shoot in the rain, despite me suggesting going to th he house several times. Not trying to "play the victim", I just wanted some unbiased opinions from people who didnt know me or know the photographer.
    Along with these messages, (Im in blue), I also asked her twice in person if we could go to his parents and I was either ignored or told it would be fine.

    Am i over reacting? Opinions please! Photographer issues. 1

    Am i over reacting? Opinions please! Photographer issues. 2
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  • Furture Mrs. G
    Expert September 2019
    Furture Mrs. G ·
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    She doesn't see anything wrong with a picture that is covering your face? WTH! Maybe she should change professions. That is not professional. I am sure if that bride received professional photos of her with her face covered, she would have an issue too.


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  • Jessica
    VIP October 2019
    Jessica ·
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    And I didn't want to reschedule because I wanted my girls with me. That was why we were supposed to go to his parents house if it rained and do pictures there. This was the night before pics.


    Am i over reacting? Opinions please! Photographer issues. 3
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  • MrsJohansson
    Expert June 2019
    MrsJohansson ·
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    Your screenshots aren't really supporting that you didn't have a choice but just adding to what I am saying. This is like a drama fest.. over $175. You let this person control everything.. you were the client and she works for you. I think you're missing my point and you're only looking for answers that confirm your feelings and bias... I didn't appreciate your comment which you purposefully took out of context and now other people are taking out of context. Again, if it were me, I wouldn't have put myself in a situation - working with someone who is not a wedding photographer and certainly not in the rain. I am in charge of my choices and I can always turn someone away.

    I'm stepping away from this now because I felt badly for your situation at first but you kind of sound like Bridezilla now with all the writing on the photos and screenshots like as if you didn't have anything to do with the outcome. I really wish you all the best. I mean that.


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  • Tris
    Expert August 2019
    Tris ·
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    1. Yes, for that price your photos should be perfect.

    2. I'm glad you moh took pics you like better, but that must have been awkward for the photographer to have someone taking iPhone pics along side her.

    3. I think 25 minutes is too short.

    4. Yes the poses seem unnatural.

    5. If she didn't get the shots she wanted she should have taken more photos.

    6. I think that may be because your family knows you better.

    7. I think 3 is plenty. More variety would have been nice though.

    8. I'm so glad you haven't signed a contract!

    9. Not overreacting. Her pictures aren't very good. She's not a good photographer. It's clear that her style has changed from 12 years ago. What kind of photographer focuses on that wooden structure when there is a bride in the frame? So weird! She should have never said it was a good idea to get you out in the rain in your dress. You had a back up plan, or y'all could have rescheduled. And she told you to lose weight! Eww! You're gorgeous. Just send her a message on fb the same way you normally communicate. "Hi so and so I want to let you know that fh and I are going with someone else for photography services on our wedding day. Thanks!" Short and sweet. Or you could tell the truth and ask for a reshoot- I'd just move on though.
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  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
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    Personally I think a photographer that wants to shoot through a storm would be a big problem to me. I basically feel like your photos look nice in terms of your hair, dress, style, and the setting, but I agree, some are wildly lost in terms of how the photographer should have either had you move or changed your pose and angle. The only thing I did disagree with is the shots of you on the wooden bench. I actually like the distance for those and thought those were some of your best ones! I also think that after asking repeatedly for a change to someplace with cover from the rain she should have done this. I have no idea why she seemed so determined to stay outside in bad elements?? Lastly I would not be able to work with someone who responded as she did. It's clear why you didn't like the photos (she should have been able to understand that) and for her to suggest your dissatisfaction was due to your weight and not the poor shots, angles, poses, weather is just a sign that she is either delusional or a person who can't accept they aren't perfect. I want to work with vendors who hear my concerns and can adjust to fit my needs. Good luck finding someone else! (PS I definitely do NOT think you're being bridezilla about this)

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  • Jessica
    VIP October 2019
    Jessica ·
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    Thank you and I appreciate the input. I was just trying to find out if I was being over critical, if I needed to get new wedding photographer, if maybe I was expecting too much from a photographer, if these types of pictures were the norm for wedding or bridal pics, etc. I didn't feel 3 good pictures was worth the $175 I paid already. Plus the cost of HMUA for the day. And if this is the norm then I just can't justify spending almost $1,600 to maybe get 20 good pics on my wedding day. I know some people can, and that's great, but I don't feel that way.

    With the screen shots I was just trying to show where we had planned the evening before to go to FILs house if it was raining, and on the day of, when I asked if we should go to his parents house, and she just pretended like I didn't say anything. I don't have any proof of the verbal conversations but you implied that I wasn't telling the whole story and that I chose to do the pictures in the rain. Which wasn't the case.

    I also did not mean to take what you said out of context. TRUTHFULLY I didn't. Your exact words were "I didn't think it was that bad". This shocked me, because I just wasnt sure what was not bad about it or what the picture could even be used for. I must have misinterpretaed what you meant. I just didn't know how else that statement could be taken.

    You are totally right about me being the client and she is working for me. Its my fault for being polite and asking if she thought we should go to FILs. I should have told her instead of asking. Lesson learned. Definitely won't make this mistake again. For this, I take full blame for how the photos came out.

    And she is advertised as a wedding photographer. Even has a separate portion of her site specifically for wedding and bridal. So I thought I was hiring a professional wedding photographer. She has several different photos up of weddings she has photographed.

    Also, I thought the point of hiring a photographer was to have pictures of a better resolution and also quality. By that I mean, not mid sentence/mouth open, hair not in face, jewelry in place like it should be, etc. I know when I was younger my grandmother used to have us do formal pictures every year thru Glamour Shots, Olan Mills or another photographer she had who would go to the location of her choosing. I recall looking through all the pictures with her afterwards and they would all be between good to awesome of everyone who had them done. I thought wedding photography was kind of the same thing, so that is what I wanted to know as well... Was if this was unrealistic and not the purpose of wedding photography. If not, then for us, a wedding photographer is not something we need. But before I go and pay $1500 to $3500 I want to know what to expect to receive. I thought I knew, but after getting these back now Im totally unsure.
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  • Jessica
    VIP October 2019
    Jessica ·
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    Thank you! And you know I never thought to tell maid and matron not to take pics while she was shooting. Yes, that may have made her uncomfortable.
    Thank you for the comment and I like your suggestion for how to let her know were going with someone else.
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  • MIWM
    VIP June 2019
    MIWM ·
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    I would be upset with the far away photos

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  • Jessica
    VIP October 2019
    Jessica ·
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    She was not very excited when I told her I wanted to use a different location than the one she wanted me to use. I live in Charleston SC, and she wanted to go downtown, on the battery, Rainbow Row, Market Street or somewhere like that. I think its beautiful there but that's not really me. That's more of a "Southern Living" magazine thing. Im more oak trees and the river.

    When I told her I wanted to do the pics at a different location she said she needed pics of the location at 5pm and also at 6pm so she could get the timing right for the sunset. She was very nice but would make little comments like "If we were doing it downtown I would already know where and what time the sunset is". I felt like these were little jabs at what I wanted, and an attempt to get me to change my mind.
    However, i still made separate trips out there to get pictures of the location as well as at exactly 5pm, 6pm and then the sunset which was closer to 7pm. The picture's were sent to her as soon as I took them.
    I believe she was shocked with how beautiful the site I chose was and that might have been why she insisted on staying there.
    She also had not seen FIls house accept for thru pics, and I don't think she was crazy about the house. I personally love it, and that's why we chose to get married there, even though its going to be more expensive than the 2 venues we looked at. (Because were renting tents, tables, chairs, etc which was included in the prices of the venues).
    Anyhow, the house is over 100 years old, right near the water. It has a huge front porch and although they have remodeled the home they left alot of the original, rustic look to it.
    I know the rustic theme is a thing right now but Ive wanted a rustic themed wedding my whole life. My house decor is all burlap and lace.
    Anyway my point is she is more city, likes the clean cut, modern things better. Looking back, I think our difference in opinion on location should have made me discuss with her my wants and make sure there was no confusion whatsoever.
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  • Jenna
    Super October 2019
    Jenna ·
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    I haven't read through all of the 100+ comments to see what people are saying, but this is my advice:

    Find a new photographer and please get a contract!! If there are any changes from the price you discussed, tell them before you sign the contract/pay the deposit. Just tell this photographer you decided to go in a different direction and leave it at that.

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  • Rayne
    Just Said Yes October 2019
    Rayne ·
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    You are so not overreacting. Take your friends advice and hire a new photographer. As for how to explain this to your current photographer, all you have to say is I've decided to go a different way for the wedding. She will understand
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  • Allison
    Dedicated October 2021
    Allison ·
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    First thing first, if any vendor sends you an invoice that does not cover what you discussed, that's a red flag. Second, what was stated in the contract? Did you sign a contract?

    Also, are these photos similar to what she typically does. I know it may be hard to hear, but often times people see photographers as mind readers who just immediately know exactly what you're looking for. Every person has their own style and tendencies and you can't be upset if they've delivered something that falls along the line of their normal work.

    1. Isn't the point of hiring a photographer to make sure your pictures are PERFECT?

    2. Why did she only get 55 pics when my MOH got 96 on her iphone and I honestly liked those better?

    - It is possible that the photos didn't come out well and so she culled them out of the final products. Photographers should not deliver anything that is blurry, out of focus, blown out, or otherwise unusable. Everything you put out is something that is attributed to them. She may not have thought they were good enough.

    3. Isnt 25 minutes kinda short for a bridal shoot?

    - 25 minutes is short for any session that isn't a mini session. You should definitely ask if you can have a reshoot.

    4. Do the poses not look unnatural to you? My Maid, Matron and another friend were all present and helping at the shoot and all said the poses looked 'off and unnatural'.

    - Not everyone who considers themselves to be a photographer is actually educated, certified, and/or trained. Her posing was off and that could just be because she isn't the greatest with that.

    6. I am not questioning the QUALITY of the actual pics. When you put them side by side with the iphone pics they are hands down better. But, the poses or other imperfections are what is bothering me. The iphone pics had AWESOME poses.

    - I think you should compare what she did for you with what she typically does. She may not be a lifestyle type of photographer who captures candids or more at ease portraits. Not all photographers like that and some prefer things to be strictly posed.

    7. Out of 53 pictures, I only have 3 that I would actually use. I knew I wouldn't like them all, but I expected to be able to use at least 25-30% of the pictures. Is it normal to only have this small amount of usable pictures?

    - Again, I really think going with a different photographer who could have met your desires as their basic style would have avoided this. I know she's your friend but she may very well not be a professional and performed as such.

    8. How do I tell her I am not using her for the wedding now? I do not in any form trust her with my wedding pictures. When my MOH showed her parents (whom I am very close with) they called me that night and gave me an email address of another photographer and told me to call and schedule my portraits, that they had already paid for a bridal portrait shoot for me. They were that disappointed with the pictures. Which totally shocked me because I kept thinking it was either me or I was just overreacting. Also, we have not yet signed a contract. She told me we could just do it later before the wedding, so, I don't care about the deposit. She can keep it. Just how do I tell her Im not using her now?

    - You really don't owe her much of an explanation. You didn't sign a contract so you never were obligated to use her services. Personally, as a photographer, a client saying "We've decided to go in a different direction" is 100% a-ok.

    9. Most importantly, am I overreacting?

    - No, your feelings are very valid and I think you should just move on with a different photographer. If you need any help with scoping one out, I know of plenty who are amazingly talented, professional, and will do right by you.

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