Am I being unreasonable for not wanting kids at my wedding/reception???

I think you're being pretty dramatic about a baby ruining your moment.... but anyway we won't be having children besides our flower girl and ring bearer... just address the invited to the parents... others may have better solution

We're not having ANY children at ours either. I don't want babies screaming through my vows or toddlers running around my reception. It's a black tie, open bar wedding and I don't think it's a remotely appropriate place for kids. Stick to your guns!

For my soon-to-be-sister-in-law's wedding people did not keep a handle on their kids during the ceremony.... it did not bother her or any of the wedding party until the pictures were developed. It was outside and children could roam. So she had stray kids in ALL of her photos! Laying on the ground, chasing each other, all that fun stuff. The photographer tried to photoshop them out but it was a mess! I'm allowing children at my wedding but it will be in a church and I feel like people will be more respectful of controlling their children. Well I hope. If you are giving them a 6 month heads up I don't see the problem in asking for that. I don't know if you could use the excuse that your wedding will be unruly and don't want children exposed to such behavior! Hahaha just an idea.

No you're not. Ours was age 21 and up as are 95%+ of the weddings, that we've ever been invited to. It's not a unique concept; my family has been hosting adult only/mostly weddings, for almost 50 years. We've been invited to/attended 5 weddings, since our toddler was born. She wasn't invited to nor attended a single one of them, including her uncle's.

You're not being unreasonable at all! We're pretty much in the same situation and have only had 1 couple complain about it. We told them it's a very important day to us and we hope they can find a babysitter so they can enjoy the day/night with us. If we added kids it would be an extra 20 people and it's not the type of party we want. I think it's selfish when other's don't understand. Weddings bring the crazy out of everyone! Good luck!

ETA: I never understood why anyone would want to bring their small children to a wedding anyways. Don't you want to relax and enjoy yourself instead of chasing around a child all night?! My friends with small children can't wait to have a kid free night

I understand not wanting to have kids or babies during the ceremony, but the reception is going to be noisy with music and people's chatter . Maybe that may be a good alternative. But in the end it's your day and you should have what you want.

I certainly hope you didn't use that exact language to describe your friends' children to their faces. If you called my child a "whiny kid" to my face, we'd have issues.

All that aside, no, you're not being unreasonable to expect them to find child care for the day, given that they'll have 6 months notice to do so. Address the invitation only to the adults (no "and family"); if anyone tries to slip an extra in there somewhere, call them about it immediately.

You just have to be prepared that people may not come. It's obvious you really don't want kids there so just be firm. If they can't find sitters then they may have to drop out of the wedding party. We opted for kids because it was important that our friends and family be there and sometimes finding a sitter for the night is hard.

You aren't being unreasonable, but you do need to accept that those friends might not be there. Just tell them that they'll be missed if they choose to step down, but that you'll understand.

Also, I really hope you don't talk about their kids like this to their faces.

We are having a mainly adult only reception. We have 4 cousins 12 and older. I don't see them as being kids anymore. I understand that some of my friends might not come because they have toddlers at home, and I am perfectly fine with that.

The only children we are having are the two ring bearers and the flower girl.

OP you are sounding a bit dramatic and selfish, I hope you do not talk about kids this way to your friends/family. It sounds as though a lot of the kids are very young so they may not be in school yet to know other parents to ask to watch the kids so they may rely just on other family members to watch their kids who may also be attending your wedding or may be on vacations, your date is right during July 4th week and I know a lot of people who go away then.

You can stick to your rule but be aware that they may not be there. If you really want them there, you can always hire a babysitter for your wedding.

Also mothers with kids under 9 months may still be breastfeeding which is even more difficult to find a babysitter for and leave. These are your bridesmaids, the people that are closest to you, you should have a little understanding.

Stick to your guns. If you don't want kids there don't have them there. These people have months to get a sitter lined up. If they are unable to that's their problem not yours.

This may be an UO, but as a mom, I probably wouldn't be too thrilled with being told my child wasn't invited. If these people are your family and friends, I feel like their children should be important to you as well. To me, if I got an invite that said something like that I'd take it like I'm important to you, but my child is not. I'm a responsible parent (and I'd assume your friends are as well) and I can keep my daughter calm and respectful during a ceremony. Sorry, but I'm just not a fan of this. I'm of the mentality that if you want me, you're getting my family. Six year old daughter and all.

We didn't invite anyones children, and it was lovely. If we had invited everyones child, there would've been 40 kids there and we just didn't have the space (we only invited about 65 guests). Also, we got married in an art gallery with glass sculptures everywhere. Not appropriate for potentially unsupervised kids whose parents were catching up with long distance family. We had a flower girl and ring bearer, and there were a few small kids that were my nieces and nephews that we included in family pictures and sat through the ceremony if they could be quiet (I'm referring to kids that were in elementary school, not babies). I rented a classroom at our venue, and hired sitters to watch the (about 7) kids in there. I made sure there was a tv, I provided movies, I had a box of coloring books, snacks, toys, jewelry making kits, you name it. It worked well. My family could go check on the kids as they wanted and still walk around the art gallery with a cocktail in their hand and have some adult conversation.

If you don't want kids, don't have kids. You just have to be prepared that some people might not come. The other option is to hire a sitter and have a private room where kids can play with games etc. with the sitter watching them.

"I just think they are using this as an excuse for me to allow them to bring their whiny kids to my wedding". This is not the way you refer to the children of your friends and family. It is really rude and immature. You were once a child yourself.

You can decide not to have children at your wedding, but some people may not attend because of this. I personally would not use a babysitter for an infant. so if I couldn't bring him/her, I would not attend.

Stick to your guns. 3 out of 6 of my bridesmaids have children and 4 out of 7 groomsmen have children, and we are not allowing any kids at the wedding. I'm in the same boat - children screaming, running around, crying... not happening at my wedding, hell no.

It sucks your bridesmaids are giving you a hard time but you have every right to have a child free wedding. If they truly can't be without their child for a day or weekend, then they should invite one of the grandparents to stay with the baby in the hotel room while they attend the wedding.

Not unreasonable at all. We planned for an adult only reception. A few family members ended up bringing their kids anyway, and they were honestly super annoying and almost knocked down our cupcake tower! They were running around during speeches, running behind the head table, getting in the way when we tried to play games, etc. I think it's completely understandable to not want children at your reception, and this may sound harsh but if people can't understand or "can't find a babysitter" when they have literally months to do so, then too bad for them. It's your day, do whatever you want.

We invited 250 adult guests and 225 accepted, on the Sunday night of a 3-day, summer holiday weekend. Of those 25 who declined, most didn't do so because they had children/young children, who weren't invited. One couple stated they couldn't find a babysitter, given 10 months notice with the save the date. Another couple boycotted and didn't even RSVP, because their kids weren't invited. We had a fabulous time without them.

Our venue charged the full adult rate (no discount for 5 hours open bar), for any guests 13 and up. 12 and under and the child wanted an adult entrée = full adult rate. Add to it the $20 just to provide a seat (linen and décor rental, chair cover, centerpiece). Ages 3-12 were at a discounted rate, but the entrée course was served around 9:00 PM. My toddler is asleep by 8:00 PM.