Alcohol byob?

Hmmm, do you have a wedding website? Perhaps you could put something on there. I think you should definitely provide non alcoholic drinks, beer and wine. Then just state that BYOB is allowed if guests wish.

Our groomsman is a strict heavy rum drinker, and we're not doing any spirits at engagement party or wedding. He had a little cry, but we didn't budge.

I think what you can provide to your guest will be enough. If people cannot live one night with their particular drink, well, I'm not sure what to say after that....

Stephanie, you're cracking me up, and absolutely not

I think you're better off serving beer and wine - maybe a champagne toast and a signature cocktail - and letting that be that. It's better to offer your guests what you can offer than ask them to essentially help host your party. I would also not want one set of guests to be drinking an $8 bottle of wine while another has a $25 bottle they rave about, while someone else has gin and tonics that another guest is envying, etc. Besides, your guests aren't there to be picky about the drinks. They are there to share the celebration with everyone else.

I have known many couples who threw a "stock the bar" housewarming party, but I don't think that would translate as well for a bridal shower, even if someone is throwing you a shower.

Ok so I think a few of you misunderstood me. I am going to have some alcohol just a few choices and I was getting frustrated on what to pick. Here is what I was saying, "I cannot afford to supply that many choices. We thought of having champaign toast and some sangria, and if u want something else you can bring it yourself." I do like the Malibu rum idea, that sounds good. We will pick some type of beer, and I am definately serving food to my geusts, I'm not sure why that was brought up. If theres anything I hate it's being tacky, & I suppose that's why I post things on here. But also it makes me realize that everyone is different in their ideas of what is tacky and what is not. I have looked at lots of pics of peoples weddings & some are like ones you would see on David Tutera's show and some are in a barn decorated country style. While a person from Chicago may think it's tacky to have a barn wedding, someone from Indiana may not think so.

Some people may think it's tacky if you choose not serve alcohol at all, while others find alcohol a necessity. All I can say is that please be careful of what you say to brides on here because last night when I was reading some of the comments it was like I was being attacked with firey darts and I just logged off. Usually things like that don't bother me. I do love this site but sometimes the comments I read [on other peoples posts] have not been so nice and people bickering back & forth. It's supposed to be fun and informative, not to make a bride feel cheap or tacky because she cannot afford an elaborate wedding.

Thanks

From my experience, most people take a sip of champagne for the toast and the rest goes to waste. Maybe you could just have people toast with the drinks they have in the their hand? Then you can either put the money you saved towards another aspect or offer another choice. If a full bar was not included in my package, I probably would have gone that route.

You're not tacky, and we are just here to help I just think what your having is more than enough.

Just keep in mind that this is an internet forum, and you will get all kinds of responses (good and bad) from all kinds of people. I think people feel especially free to throw flaming darts from behind the protection of a computer screen. Try not to take the flaming darts personally and just extract whatever good advice you can.

JJ I was thinking that about the champagne also. Diva, that sounds good, maybey even add a bit of the rum punch. I want to say, I appreciate everyones comments. Regardless wether I agree or not.

Hi Love - are you renting the beach house for the night/weekend? Are any of the guests staying at this house w/ you? The reason I ask is - when FH & I travel or stay at friends/family's houses - we always have our preferred alcohol with us or we stop at the liquor store and buy it before we check in. Now that I'm thinking about it so does my entire family - including my grandparents LOL. Your wedding sounds sooooo relaxing and fun - like a little soiree at the beach with just your loved ones so I don't think it would be odd or tacky if you said BYOB based on that scenario.

How many guests are you having? I just had a party for 60 we had a 1/2 keg of Coors Light & a 1/2 of Yuengling and we had way too much. If I had to do it over again I would have just bought 2 Cases of each instead of the kegs. We also had 14 bottles of red and 10 white – again too much – we had 8 bottles left over total.

Marie, we are renting it for the week. And some will be staying with us there. Others within walking distance. I am not sure how many yet but no more than 50 that's how many invites we got. So probably around 35. I guess I didn't realize the amount of alcohol I'd need. It just seemed like it was going to be alot of alcohol to buy. I don't have parties and such, and haven't been to many weddings so I have no experience with this sort of thing. 2 or 3 cases of beer, we can handle that lol. Also I think 3 or 4 bottles of rum and some sangria will do it I think. I can also see my friends bringing some alcohol without me even asking. Thanks for your post it eases my mind, and I like the sound of a soiree, lol.

Something that hasn't even been mentioned her is liquor liability. By supplying liquor, even in limited amounts or variety, you do have a bit more control than you would with people bringing their own. I don't know what the legal ramifications are of that, but it would probably be wise to find that out.

As for the tacky thing, I think (as I said beforeA) this is a highly regional issue. I am based right next to NYC. Cash bars are not done here, no matter how fancy or simple the wedding is (and I don't equate fancy with a great wedding; some of my favorite weddings have been very simple, homemade affairs). Limited bars are very popular, in even the most upscale venues; wine, beer, sparking wine and a signature drink or two. It really depends on your group of people and the expectations of both you and them.

You posted the question (I think?) because you wanted opinions. You got some. IMHO, posting a question to hear "yes that's a great idea" isn't all that useful.

You might want to rule the whole keg thing all together - they have to stay on ice otherwise the beer goes skunk. If you just buy the cases - buy it non refrigerated and chill them as needed it will be less maintenance for you as well.

Since your doing the beach thing I'd suggest getting a couple of cheap blenders from Walmart and a few mixers - pina colada, banana daquiri, strawberry. They're always a hit and will keep you limited to just rum so you're not spending a fortune on booze. Blenders burn out quick when making these plus you'll only get 4 maybe 5 drinks a mix so the drink line will be long.

Bring a few extra coolers so you have a place to store the massive amounts of ice your gonna need for the beer & fruity tootey drinks.

I did read the other posts where it did get a bit "upity" - don't take it personally - everyone quotes from some etiquette book and under regular wedding conditions it is kinda ickey, but a couple of quick questions to you would have cut it off at the pass - which is a shame that no one did that. Based on the vibe you've described I personally do not see any issue with bringing alcohol - after all I'd be a guest in your beach house for a week. I'd never expect you to wine & dine me for that amount of time - even if you were a millionaire.

Thank you ladies

Lovebride - we're having a beach side ceremony/reception and decided instead of champagne at the wedding (fearing it would go to waste), that we would have it at the rehearsal dinner instead.

And FH and I will have a bottle chilled for us that night. (Our after party, for two.)

From the perspective of someone that has been a guest at many weddings, I would say serving alcohol is one of the more important things to do. Even if your wedding is casual, you are hosting a party and should therefore provide some alcohol. I agree with the others that suggested you doing just beer and wine. No one will care if you don't have a terrific selection, but I believe they will care if they have to provide their own alcohol. Just my two cents. Good luck with your wedding planning.

Lovebride your wedding sounds fantastic! I agree with the nixing of the keg for the cases, and I'm sure there will be more liquor in the house than you plan on!

I think its a great idea!

It really does depend on the group of people, too. Amongst our group of friends, getting black-out drunk at a wedding is not only perfectly normal, but highly anticipated.

Alcohol flows freely at all of our parties, so we couldn't stop people from BYOB at our wedding even if we wanted to (which we don't). Most of our friends will bring a bottle or two stashed in the trunk or in a purse to every party occasion, just to insure that they won't dry out.

We plan on 150 guests. Here's our alcohol list: 12 fifths of vodka, 6 fifths of rum, 4 fifths of tequila, 4 fifths of whiskey, a keg, and probably a couple bottles of red and white wine.

Alcohol isn't everyone's cup of tea, and I know that a lot of people would be highly offended at the type of wedding reception I'll have, but I'm having the wedding I want, and that's all that matters. Don't get down on yourself- I would have a great time at your wedding with my fifth of tequila!