Age 13 and Up Wedding?

I wouldn't split the families. However we are not inviting little kids either. My sister is 14 and my cousin is 14 and they are coming, but no other kids. We put a card in our invites saying, "as much as we love the little ones, use our wedding for a date night out and leave the kids at home"

I think it's rude to invite one and not another. Especially if you invite your youngest cousin but a friends 13 year old can't come.

I would be offended. Either you have a kid friendly wedding or don't. Why are you wanting to cut the age at 13 and up? Just because of your cousin? Chances are, if you do invite kids, some parents would take the opportunity to find a babysitter so they can enjoy an evening out "kid free". That's what some of our guests did.

Yes you are all very right! Thank you - All of the family or none - not sure why I even considered that - guess thats why i'm glad you all are here!

So I guess I have to make a decision - all the kids - or none.

It is recommended to invite in circles when you are limiting your guest list like this. For example, we included our nieces and nephews because they were part of our immediate family but did not invite children otherwise. As others have said, if you set an age limit you run the risk of splitting up families and that is rude.

Thank you Mandi - I will definitely look into that!

We made our wedding 21+ with the exception of close family (just our siblings and first cousins).

I have absolutely no problem with a couple hosting a child free wedding. If the kids you're thinking about inviting would enjoy a bouncy house, a ball pit, and adults dressed up as cartoon figures, IMO, your wedding will bore them as much as their birthday parties will bore you.

Your problem becomes the family with a 6 year old, a 10 year old, and a 14 year old. You can't invite one child in a family and exclude the other two -- which is exactly why I say unless the children are those of the bride and/or groom, it's 21 and over.

I would either adult only or kid friendly there isnt really an in between without someone being offended because their kid couldnt come.

We are pro adult only all the way.

My aunt cut hers off at 16, but it was a natural cutoff. It didn't split families and the only 16 and 17 year olds were nieces and nephews. In that case I didn't think it was rude.

But splitting families is never okay and generally it's best to do all or none with kids.

I agree with @Kristina will be a little rude if you invite one but not the other.

I agree with Sara. It is either adults only or kid friendly. We are having an adult only party because we want my FH cousin's to enjoy themselves at the wedding and not running around after their kids.

Thank you! Nobody in my family has ever done an adults only wedding /excluded kids, aka my cousins (I have like 35 on one side) So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Don't want to offend anyone, but also we really don't think kids would be appropriate or have fun.

We did 21 and up - the legal drinking age here, except for my honorary little sister (high school), who was a bridesmaid. My family has been doing adult weddings since my Mom was a kid. Almost every wedding we've attended was adult only; exceptions may be the couples' kids, bridal party kids, little brothers/sisters, and nieces/nephews. They're usually in a separate room, with a baby sitter, for the reception, though.

Our venue charged the full adult rate for all guests 13 and up (no discount for 5 hours of open bar). If guests 12 and under wanted one of the adult entrees = full adult rate. Tablecloths, chair covers and centerpieces totaled over $20, just to provide each seat. No way were we paying for all of that.

I think it's fine. Everyone on this website is way too sensitive.

I understand doing 21 and up, but that could potentially be splitting families up as well. For example, My cousins (sisters) are 21 and 17. Both live at home with my aunt and uncle. So by that logic aunt, uncle, and older cousin get invited but younger cousin doesnt? I think inviting your immediate family member who is 13 but not inviting other younger kids is totally fine.

This is extremely rude, as it WILL split families. You never invite a family and invite some of the kids and not others. You either invite just the adults, or the whole family.

This is why the cutoff is usually 18. By then the 18-year-old warrants a separate invitation because they are now their own social unit.

FH has a BIG family, and it's pretty normal for people in my area to have 5+ kids. For that reason, we decided that people invited to the ceremony could bring their children (because most of them are family or close friends whose kids we know) and people who were invited to the reception only could not.

Seriously, just the people from my eight-person office alone would bring about 25 kids; and that's just among the four people who have children.

When sending out invites, either address the whole family (i.e. "The Edwards Family") or just the couple (i.e. "Matt and Michelle Edwards"). Most people will get the idea and be understanding. If you're creating a wedding website, you could also include something about it in the FAQ section. Don't mention "no kids" on the actual invitations though.

We decided to invite our siblings children (2 on my side) and our cousins' children (9 on his side, none of my side can make it). They're not all coming, but that's where the line got drawn for us.

You can completely draw a family/level of familiarity line in your invitation list, however I think splitting families by age isn't the best idea. It's difficult for families when one child is invited and another isn't within the same family.

You can't split up families. However, I am of the opinion that you are free to invite whoever you want. So if you want to invite your cousins, invite them. That does not mean you have to invite the teenage children or young children of all your other guests.