Afraid Scary Ex will Find Wedding Website and stalk me...

We're having the same issue with my abusive ex-husband. He drinks a lot and when he's on one of his drunks he has made threats to my son that he's going to crash our wedding. I will not give him the satisfaction of worrying about it, but just to be safe we have hired security. My advice is make sure your website is setup to approve all comments before their posted. And above all don't stress about it. Take away his power by not giving him a second thought. Good luck to you!

The knot has a password option you can turn on! Leave the location off your guests will have that on the invite!

We're having a few guests moonlight as armed guards. Checked with the venue. Explained the stalker. The armed people will have a list of names and some pictures. The coordinator and venue will have the same list AND a list of everyone who is carrying. Gods bless America and her Army boys, their friends, and cop stepdads.

Just don't have a wedding website

Minted.com offers password/pin protection for guests to view your website and/or the ceremony/reception details. I believe you can also do it by invitation only (not entirely sure however). You could do that and include just your first names. Or skip the website and opt for an info card with your invitation suite. I'm so sorry you have to worry about something like this before your wedding--as if wedding planning wasn't stressful enough! Keeping you in my prayers that this creep doesn't show up or cause any trouble leading up to or on your wedding day!

I know you didn't ask for this and I am not trying to change the subject, but I would suggest hiring security to work your wedding just incase he showed up. That way you would feel safer and if he did show up they would handle it and no family members would have to get involved

I would get a domestic violence protection order. You seem to definitely qualify that way if he does reach out or stalk you, you have legal ground to stand on.

I would just password protect your website and make sure not to put any details out there in the social media world. I dealt with a very similar situation except I still live in the same state as him. Luckily he hasn't contacted me in about a year now so I hope it's over with. I hope this guy eventually gives up and leaves you alone.

Ehhh I will say there are ways around the 'password/pin-protected websites' if your ex is tech-savvy.

Skip the website.

ETA: Definitely hire security for the wedding also.

I would hire security guards for the wedding (most places ask for this already) and provide a picture of him, so they know they need to keep him away

First of all, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Of course he's a borderline -- the way he reacted to the thought of losing you is a classic borderline reaction. You were his possession, or so he thought.

If you haven't gone through this, you have no idea how absolutely frightening it is. LuckyAK, I'd ditch the wedding website. Weddings have gone on for decades without them, and honestly, it would be too much of a risk for me.

Lastly, and I rarely think this is necessary, I would hire a security guard for the day of the wedding. Give him a photo of the guy and make his only job watching out for him.

Best of luck and stay safe (and keep all of those emails just in case you do need a RO, which I would have already obtained).

1) dont post anything wedding related or real personal info on social media.

2) rethink your friends, someone is over talking.

3) GET A RO, with him bothering you in anyway that makes you feel unsafe is more then enough... (please get one)

I'm saying this cause I'm in your shoes, my ex from HS and after HS was the same way. Till I took all the above steps. And if you must have wedding wed put a password.

I agree completely with @Trista. I would talk to the police department in the area and make them aware. I would also get an RO. This way if he does show up, no questions, he's arrested. I would hire security, and if there is an RO, make sure they are aware of it as well.

eta, my ex husband sounds very similar to this, although I'm very happy that the stalking behavior has diminished over the years. He is still in touch with our eldest daughter, but she gives only a minimum of information to him. As in, only what's necessary, and nothing is necessary.

Also let me add if you haven't done so, change your number, and all emails the he knew about should be deleted.

WW also allows you to have a pin to get into your site and keep it from being searchable.

But I would also say that having a site isn't necessary if you feel it is too big of a risk. I would get a RO just as an added level of protection but also make police in the area aware of the situation and hire security and make venue aware of his photo and name just in case he shows up. Better to be over prepared than under prepared.

I've been there, and have thought about this.

The good news is my psycho is 18 hours away and likely doesn't have the resources to ruin my life now.

Sending hugs

I don't have a website but they can be passworded!

It should also be added, drop any friends who are letting him view your profile through their social media pages. What is wrong with people? You can't be guaranteed someone won't think it just so funny to bring him to your wedding (like some other bride is currently going through).

I just want to say thank you for all the suggestions- and all the compassion that lives here. I had no idea so many people had been through the same thing. It made me feel so much less alone.

I am definitely going to get security!! About getting the RO- wouldn't that mean I'd have to serve him papers? I'm scared to actually see him.

Thank you so much angels <3

No - papers are served by a third party