Afraid Scary Ex will Find Wedding Website and stalk me...

And has somehow found out about my engagement, as he sent me some weird slew of text messages about it at some point. (He is also a heavy drug user).

I am afraid that his radar is on and if I list the details and location of my wedding on a website he will find it, and potentially attempt to show up, or do something crazy. He has borderline personality disorder, is not being treated, among a long list of other problems.

Should I do it anyway? My fiance has a very unique last name and I am afraid that alone will make it traceable. I thought about password protecting it but I'm not sure if that's possible.

Thanks gals.

1) password protect

2) choose the setting that makes someone unable to search for your site through google or through the wedding site itself

Lucky, can you post it without your last names? I had a bridesman who was a psychiatrist and didn't want it to be searchable, so I just used his first name. If you both have very common first names, this might help!

When I made our website on the Knot, you can make in private to where you have to enter a pin. I put the pin on our STDs, so only people invited can look at it.

You also don't need a wedding website! I didn't have one.

First, I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. I would limit anything you post online about the wedding. But yes, many wedding websites allow you to place a password on them. Have you also considered hiring security, especially if you have safety concerns?

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I dealt with something similar (it's scary how close our stories are) but I was married to him. If I were you, I wouldn't even make a website. It's not a requirement, you can still give all the information that is needed without it. I would also save all texts messages or any other contact and let the police in the area know that way they can prepare. You may need to go ahead and get the RO. I know it's just a piece of paper but it can help. I'd also make sure to have some form of security at your wedding. Lots of prayers and thoughts going out to you. Stay strong

You can use a password or pin to get into your site. Do that. Be careful, and keep an eye on everything you do online, even though it seems like you do anyways. If your FH doesn't know, tell him now.

Do not let this jerk off ruin your planning or your engagement. If it gets intense, get a RO. If you feel like he will show up, get a RO. Make sure you have security at your event, or figure a plan in case that is a problem.

If you do one through the Knot I know they have an option to put a pin code in to view the site, so you just give that to your guests so they can look at it but no one else can

All the previously mentioned comments are good advice, also wanted to add, I was in somewhat of a similar situation and I just want to say, protect yourself but don't let someone like that dampen your engagement/wedding experience. Easier said than done but I stressed out needlessly over a similar kind of person and at the end of the day, they shouldn't get to continue to hurt you in this happy time. Good luck, lady!

I'm in a similar situation, so I honestly mean it from the bottom of my heart that I am so so sorry you are also going through this.

We aren't even doing a website because I'm so scared he'd find it. Weddings have been going on well before the internet. I'm really sad about this choice, but it's the most comfortable for me, and FH is being nothing but supportive.

My site is password protected. It can be done.

I agree with what everyone else has said. I would add though, be mindful of any pictures that you use. They can be pasted into a google image search. I'm not sure how that would work if you can't search your wedding site, but something to look into!

I would risk it I wouldn't put anything online.

I agree with Brandi G. I wouldn't put anything online. It is sad that you have to deal with this idiot and I hope he does not mess up your beautiful day. Good luck

I didn't have a wedding website and had a dw (3+ hour drive) for everyone except for dh. It's not a necessity and you can definitely relay information through other, private, means. And I'd hire security just in case. Also - do you think you should change your phone number?

Honestly, you don't need a wedding website. If you really want one, password protect it like the other ladies have suggested.

If you really want a website put a password on it. FH both are attorneys so we did it so people couldn't look us up.

If you want one, have one - password protect it, don't make it searchable, don't use last names or photos. I would also ask family and friends to not post things on social media if at all possible, at least until after the wedding. Make sure you look into hiring security for your wedding. At the absolute least, provide your DOC or venue contacts with his name a photograph and let them know he is not allowed to enter.

Good luck and I'm sorry you're dealing with this!

I didn't do a website either for the same reasons. Hang in there!!! And hire security