Addressing Guest Attire for Wedding?

You can’t put “formal” anything if you aren’t even having your wedding party dressed formally.

There is no such thing as black tie optional. A wedding is either black/white tie (and noted on the invite) or no dress code is given. If you or your FMIL want to dictate how people dress, you need to have a black tie wedding with all the bells and whistles.

Is there something in the water? There's another thread about this.

FTR, Black Tie Optional isn't a thing. It's either Black or White Tie and it's not just a dress code, it's a set of requirements.

View Quoted Comment

Ok, what dictates a black tie wedding - you said all the bells and whistles?

View Quoted Comment

Ok, I understand. That is why I ask these questions - I am unaware.

The things I know of for black tie: valet service, live band, top shelf open bar, multiple course plated meal (servers should have on white gloves). I know there is more to it than that, but those are the ones I remember off the top of my head.

View Quoted Comment

What constitutes "formal"? They are in navy suits that are basically tuxedos without the satin lining. It is a very formal evening wedding at a very upscaled hotel like I mentioned. Bridesmaids are in floor length dresses. I just don't want people to show up in khakis and polos - pretty sure that is not an abnormal thought.

OK, well I'm sure people will know it is formal but not black tie. I got my answer from just stepping back and thinking about it. Thanks everyone.

Navy suits = not formal attire.

I would still put something. Even if you expect less of some people with what they wear, you can atleast say you told them. Some people really do not get the hint so if you can give as much subtle direction, it will at least make you feel better.
Good luck!

View Quoted Comment

Maitre d' service for all the tables, live bands, passed hot appetisers, champagne toast, must begin after 6:00pm etc. It's an event in and of itself.

Formal can be anything. I can be formal in a cocktail gown, a pantsuit, a pair of dark denim and nice shirt, it all depends on where the event is held and what it is.

View Quoted Comment

Black or Grey are formal colours. Navy is not.

View Quoted Comment

I agree with this. Navy says causal winter.

View Quoted Comment This is why their suits aren’t formal.

View Quoted Comment

Ok, well maybe it was a mistake on my end. I should have gone with at least back suits - the navy suits are already ordered. I didn't want to put the pressure of our families to get tuxedos. I don't know why I mentioned black tie. It won't be black tie regardless but I would just like some sort of formality set. But, I won't put anything. I don't really think navy suits, if done right, scream "casual winter", but ok - to each their own. I guess they will look casual and winter like in a gold ballroom in the spring. Who cares - weddings I have realized are overrated.

View Quoted Comment

You asked, we told you. Black and grey are traditional formal colours. Navy is not. It's not necessarily "casual", but it doesn't scream "formal". I wouldn't necessarily "dress down". But, I wouldn't wear a more formal outfit to your wedding if I knew that your groomsmen were wearing navy, probably just a pantsuit.

"Weddings are overrated"

OK. Well. Glad to have met you.

View Quoted Comment I would put formal... done right navy suits can be very spiffy and elegant... but I guess Dr people that are used to upscale weddings they might notice something off.... I wouldnt notice anything off...

To* instead of dr

View Quoted Comment

What are Dr people?

Black tie optional is not a true dress code. "Formal wear optional", maybe...but black tie? Absolutely not. Black tie is a type of event, not a dress code.

All clarification aside, I would only recommend my guests to wear specific types of clothes or styles unless it was a) beneficial to their comfort at the venue (i.e. recommending flats for a hilly, outdoor area) or b) the event and venue utilize a specific dress code (i.e. the venue does not allow jeans, so I'd mention that requirement, or it is truly a true black tie event).