Actual Start time vs. Invitation Start Time

I know my family and we are all always at least fifteen to twenty minutes late for EVERYTHING. I might do a fifteen minute fluff, nothing more. I would be irritated if I was a guest and was early or on time and ended up having to wait 30-40+ minutes.

I think a half hour is way too much. I would think the bride/groom was late and would be annoyed. Especially if I were someone who were actually on time and showed up ten minutes early like I should.

... I agree with Danielle. No more than 15 minutes. I will probably consider the fluff time also. My family is always late and I want them seated and settled in before the processional.

We just stuck with the actual time. We are doing First Look and all the bridal party will be there for that so we have them captured. My parents are staying at the hotel night before as are FH so as long as those people are there at 5:30 we are getting going. It was a hard decision but writing quarter past 5 on the invitations seemed strange and I felt like people would know we were really starting at 5:30 anyway. I also didn't want the earlybirds waiting around on a hot August day for longer than necessary.

I agree, in my opinion 30 minutes is too much. 15 minutes, you can get away with it and guests who are on time will think you are a bit late. 30 minutes pushes it just too much (in my opinion).

I'm shuttling everyone to the ceremony so I know they will be there on time. I will probably pad the shuttle departure time by 30 minutes though because if they miss the shuttle, they wont just be late, they will miss the wedding entirely.

I felt a little bad about it until FH suggested we put water bottles and chips on the bus.

If you do have people show up early for the ceremony, you could do the same thing, just provide some refreshments while people mingle.

I just put down the exact start time. I didn't want to punish all the over-achievers that arrive 15-20 mins before the stated time and make them wait any additional time. If they can't make it on time that's their own fault IMO.

With that being said - you know your guests and if you have a lot of family members who run late, a 10-15 min fluff time is needed for sure. I just come from a family of early arrivers.

I think it is rude to intentionally start later than announced. It isn't fair to the people who actually show up on time.

I'm putting the actual start time on the invite. I know when i'm a guest a wedding i show up (usually 15 minutes or so early) based on the time on the invite and would be annoyed if i showed up according to the invite time to have to wait another even 15 minutes after the start time of the listed time.

What you're thinking of doing is quite rude. Your ceremony needs to start when the time on your invitation says it will start. People don't want to rush to get to your wedding only to have to wait.

In my area, a half hour is almost always added to the start time so people can start their receptions exactly on time. Most places serve a sparkling water or champagne, and by the time the guests have valet parked and navigated their way in, it's only a few minutes before. Most places don't seat people right away. Fifteen minutes will not fool anyone, so invite on the hour or half hour and then wait the 15.

I routinely have guests arrive half way through the ceremony, and personally I think that is screaming rude too, but in NY/NJ, the traffic can be simply unimaginable for people who aren't familiar with the area.

If you decide to put the actual time on the invite, be prepared to start (and spread by word of mouth) your intention to start exactly on time, no matter who is late. Lie to the shuttle bus companies too. I have nothing against starting at the stated time, I've just seen enough weddings to know that it rarely happens.

If you start late because your guests are late or you decide to wait or YOU"RE late, that time will come from somewhere; probably your cocktail hour, but definitely your reception. Or you end later and that costs overtime in most cases.

Where I'm from, people are notoriously late. It's just the culture and you may huff and puff about it, but it's not changing anytime soon. Invitations for nearly every social event list the start time as a half hour to an hour before the actual event starts. This isn't considered rude, and the host will discreetly tell those who typically show up on time what the actual start time is.

ETA: So to answer your question, I think adding a half hour is fine!

I agree with celia and fluffy... I don't think its rude at all giving yourself a 30 min buffer. People are notoriously late. Yes there might be the people who show up on time and will have to wait. But i'd be PEEVED if we started our ceremony and guests were coming in late in the middle of it. We are putting 4pm on our invites and ceremony starts at 4:30.

I think it's rude to put a different time. That is deceptive to your guests

I put our actual start time, if your not there it's not my problem we'll start without you.

I never even THOUGHT of this, and assumed I would put my actual ceremony start time! If we run a little behind...that is just what happens, deal with it. LOL But for guests to arrive LATE to a wedding, is extremely rude! I am ALWAYS on time...or early...never even "fashionably late!"

Put your actual start time. Most of your guests will arrive early, often 30+ minutes early. I'd be super annoyed if I rushed to get to your wedding and arrived at 11:30 or 11:45 and you deliberately started the ceremony at 12:30.

Not to be obnoxious, but I truly am curios why people think it is rude to give an earlier start time. I can understand if you are making them stand outside in the heat with nothing to do or eat or drink. But having some mingling time with refreshments beforehand actually seems kind of nice to me. It's not like you are waiting at the dentists office with shit to do afterwards. And so what if they have to wait an extra 20 minutes watching the sun set over the lake (my venue ref here) before all you can eat free premium drinks and delicious food? Boo effing hoo. I really don't think its absurd to make people wait, to plan for perfect timing for something you have spent a small fortune and months of meticulous planning to be perfect. Just my opinion.

It's definitely rude to do a false start time (though I totally understand the temptation to do so). I'm always at least 15 minutes early for a wedding and most people most likely will show up early or on time -- why punish those who show up on time?

Tiana: Lying to your guests is rude.