Cynthia
Expert June 2019

4 days until the wedding and i have had late Rsvps come in.....

Cynthia, on June 11, 2019 at 3:20 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 44
Saved
Reply
Do I really need this right now??? Um no! My wedding is in 4 days and I gave the final head count in for dinner already. What am I suppose to do?!?! Do I really have to add them into the head count or do I just tell them sorry the numbers have sent in come after dinner?

44 Comments

Latest activity by Jasmine, on June 12, 2019 at 8:23 PM
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    Did you contact them when you didn’t receive their RSVP by the due date and they told you they weren’t coming? If they’re changing their mind then tell them the numbers have already been turned in.
    • Reply
  • Cynthia
    Expert June 2019
    Cynthia ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I reached out to them in every way possible and they ignored me. Never answered until now.
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Dedicated October 2019
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    Is there someone at the catering place you can ask? I'm sure it's happened to them before and it will happen again!

    • Reply
  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
    • Flag
    I would tell them no. This is stupid. You're not their parent. They had a date to RSVP by and they didn't. You followed up with them anyway to no avail. I wouldn't even try to squeeze them in.
    • Reply
  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag

    UGH. Don't add them into the head count for dinner. I would say "Hi *name*, we would have LOVED to have you at our wedding, however the RSVP date was (*date*) and we didn't hear back from you. I tried to reach out so many times but no luck! What happened? The final numbers were sent in to the venue this week but feel free to come by after dinner.. which will be around (*time*).

    Honestly some people are just lazy. Also, sometimes people who are not married, have never been in a wedding, haven't been to many, etc. often don't know the work that goes into it and might legitimately not understand the issue with the late RSVP. Might not be worth burning the entire bridge over this.. which is why I would stick with the post-dinner invite. Good luck!

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Super May 2019
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    I would just tell them that unfortunately since they didn't respond to your attempts to reach them, the final number was already turned in and you won't be able to accommodate them at this point.

    People are crazy. My aunt and uncle never RSVP'd so I had to follow up with them. They declined. We saw them after that but still before the deadline and they said they could make it afterall if we would still have them. We told them sure thing. I adjusted and turned in final numbers. I saw her in the nail salon TWO DAYS before the wedding and she told me they couldn't make it because she had to fill in at work. ARGH...ok. I had a cousin who wanted to bring a date that I had told no so I changed my entire seating chart and escort cards to take them off and include her date. THEN TWO HOURS BEFORE THE CEREMONY, they texted my grandma to ask where the wedding was and said they were coming. I lost my freaking marbles. My mom handled it because I was done being gracious...but I wish I had been firm the first time because people will walk all over you. Sorry for my rant. LOL

    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    You can tell them no. But I never worked for a catering service that did not cook for five more of each meal that total requested. Allows for unexpected guests, meals dropped on the floor, and such. If you do not need new tables and centerpieces, and did your seating chart with slots and cards, easily changed or added to, not fixed signs.
    Probably you will have 1 or more who accepted, not come do to illness or accident, or dreaded no shows.
    But it is entirely up to you. If they were not away while you were reaching out to people, and only got the invitations in the last 8 weeks, they had no reason not to RSVP.
    • Reply
  • Future Mrs. K
    VIP June 2019
    Future Mrs. K ·
    • Flag

    I would tell them no since they ignored you until now and you already provided numbers.

    • Reply
  • S
    Devoted September 2019
    Sara ·
    • Flag
    Tell them to bring a chair and a sandwich or don’t come! Oh my gosh, I’d be tearing my hair out!
    • Reply
  • Kenia
    Beginner February 2020
    Kenia ·
    • Flag
    Catering companies usually make extra for add ons, was it paid already? Are the people you really want in your wedding?!
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    Hi date twin!
    I don't know about you but in my culture people usually rudely arrive unrsvpd or uninvited and normally people will accommodate. I personally said to my friends that... I'll only accommodate it if I've space here and there which I do (some I filled 9/10 for instance) but if it goes beyond that then I'd say thank u, next! It's rude of people to do that so you'd have every right to turn them away.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Devoted October 2018
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    I'd try to be polite as possible, even though it's soooo annoying! Try reaching out to your caterer - if they say no, then tell your guests no because that's the honest truth.

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    VIP October 2019
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    Ugh agree with others..I would tell them no.
    • Reply
  • Victoria
    VIP October 2018
    Victoria ·
    • Flag
    It's ok to tell them no, but if you're considering letting them come, check with your venue. Ours allowed us to add on until almost the last minute. We just couldn't subtract.
    • Reply
  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Yeah that is insane. I would tell them that you had tried to contact them after your RSVP date, and unfortunately you already had to turn in your head count to the caterer and will not be able to accommodate them.

    • Reply
  • Nia
    Savvy July 2019
    Nia ·
    • Flag

    You tell them your final count is in... 4 days before the wedding is unacceptable. Especially if you're having it at a catering hall venue or similar. Just no. Lol

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Then I would respond with "I am so sorry, but we already turned in our head count for dinner and it cannot be changed this close to the wedding. We wish we would have heard from you sooner, so we could have added you in. Maybe we can catch up after the wedding." Because honestly, I think it'd be weird to have them there and they aren't allowed to eat or what not (totally their fault), but still awkward. Unless there is anyway you can add them to your caterer's list and make it work.
    • Reply
  • Tina
    Super August 2019
    Tina ·
    • Flag
    It's a no for me. Smh
    • Reply
  • A
    Dedicated May 2019
    Autumn ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    This is the best and classiest way to handle it imho.
    • Reply
  • Summervibes
    Dedicated August 2017
    Summervibes ·
    • Flag
    Oh no, this is happening to us, but we still have 14 days. I would call your venue and see what they say. Seat them at the vendor table.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics