$300 YEAH Right!!!!

Generally the BMs all contribute, but $300 seems like a lot to me, when there are 7 total. I'd just tell her you're sorry, but the most you can give is $150 (or whatever you're comfortable with). The shower is partly your responsibility, but the 7 (or 8) of you need to figure it out together and see what everyone can afford.

What Paris said. I've been a BM 6 times and I've always contributed to both the shower and bach party, but $300 for the shower alone does seem like a lot.

Well when I was MOH we just divided the costs between us for the bachelorette and shower since we hosted them. It does add up fast though and I didn't demand money from them, we discussed what we were comfortable with and went from there.

Well typically the bridesmaids help the MOH plan those and they talk about financial contributions prior to the shower/bachelorette party being finalized. That way everyone can contribute what they would like to and it isn't out of budget. My mom and sister threw my bridal shower (my sis is my MOH) and it was at my mom's store, so the only thing the girls had to do was show up. The Bachelorette party I think they contributed $45 to each after much discussion and paid for their own drinks and each of them bought me a drink but I didn't ask them to. Granted we are doing a destination wedding so that's a huge financial burden on people coming so my sister and I have been really careful with budget constraints for the bridal party.

Also yes $300 does seem like a lot just for the shower with 7 of you guys total. I would talk to the MOH about it.

Wow - didn't anyone tell the MOH to dial it back? $2800 is more than some people spend on their weddings!

Oof. no thanks.

it's not rude to tell her that you simply cannot afford to contribute that much. maybe ask if you can contribute in another way (cooking, setting up, etc.) but that you can only put $X into the pot.

Yeah, budget definitely should have been discussed first and she shouldn't have just demanded that amount from you. Kate has some good ideas about other ways to contribute.

Thank you ladies. I want to help but all my money is accounted for. This is the reason I only asked my BM to buy their dress and that's it. It very uncomfortable when someone ask you for such a large lump sum of money.

I've been a bridesmaid a number of times and we've always paid for both the shower and the bachelorette party. With that being said, $300 each for 7 people is A LOT! I was one of 3 bridesmaids in a wedding last year. We held the shower at a local restaurant and only paid $175 each for the space, food and decorations. If you're not comfortable spending that much, you should let her know.

Maybe I'm different, but I don't think the bridesmaids should be expected to throw/contribute to a shower. Asked, perhaps, but not expected.

When I threw a shower for my best friend, and I was her MOH, I didn't ask any of the other BM to contribute - it was my decision to do it and didn't want to pressure the others. None of my BM threw my shower - it was thrown by my cousin.

When my cousins got married, their showers were thrown by family members also - no bridal parties. Same with my sister.

So unless you were asked to help throw the shower in advance, I actually agree that you are under no commitment. If you'd like to, you could graciously offer something, but I think it's rude to assume.

@erica EXACTLY. My mom and sister are throwing my bachelorette party. It''s crazy! You have to get a part time job to be a bridesmaid. LOL

Another example of how weddings have gotten out of control. That is too much money, and if this is what she thinks is appropriate for a shower, god knows what will she has in mind for the bachelorette party.

They all need to have a conversation about what is reasonable and what they can afford. Buying dresses is normal; paying for pro hair and makeup, sometimes yes, sometimes no. That is is.

My sister (MOH), my parents and FILs threw my bridal shower. All my sister asked for BMs to do is run the games and show up a bit early to help set up. They all helped clean up at the end too, they weren't asked to contribute any money I don't think that they should.

I agree with Erica... asked to is one thing, but I don't expect my BM's to contribute that kind of money on top of their dress and shoe purchases.

I wouldn't worry either. If there are 7-8 of you, you won't be the only one mentioning the large price tag. I can guarantee that one. I don't know what kind of carnival this bride has planned, but there's a cloud she's sitting on that she needs to step down from.

Thank you ladies. I'm glad that I'm not the only one that thinks it's CRAZY!!!!! Weddings have gotten WAY OUT OF HAND.

Weddings are absolutely out of control! I've been a bridesmaid twice, and neither time was I asked to contribute to a shower or bachelorette. Of course, both times were about ten years ago, so maybe things have changed.

Why does a shower have to be 50 people in a private room of a fancy restaurant? What happened to 15 ladies sipping punch and eating finger sandwiches in someone's living room?

Why does the bachelorette have to be a weekend getaway with all the trimmings? What happened to just hitting the bar with the girls?

I think with engagements getting longer and longer, people have WAY too much time to go WAY overboard. In my mother's day, an engagement was 3-6 months. Now that the average engagement is creeping towards two years, that gives the bride way too much time to let her expectations get out of control.

Everyone needs to just take a deep breath. You'll be just as married with modest parties.

I never asked for my girls to throw any sort of party for me, but they decided on their own to do it. My MOH and mom helped plan one of the showers (other one done by my MIL and DH's aunts). It was at my parents and my mom paid for the food. My MOH paid for a few gifts to be won from the games and the invites.

For the bachelorette party my BM paid for the invites and some fun favours for the girls. Everyone paid for their own dinner and the drinks at the club, including myself.

Traditionally mother's didn't throw showers because it was considered rude to ask for gifts for her daughter. Other female relatives could and/or bridesmaids, but not mothers. AND, MOBs were (are) honored guests.

Shannon S, you rock my socks.

My ideal wedding shower: hanging out in my Mom's living room with maybe 20 people, eating little decorated cupcakes, playing those cheesy games, eating ham biscuits, and just being with a bunch of my favorite women opening gifts.

My ideal bachelorette party: going to a decent dinner and then the comedy club afterwards with my female wedding party/close female family.

BOOM...

I agree... making things a weekend long, bleh. I need my space... haha!

I agree that is way too much for the shower. I would contact the MOH ASAP & let her you know you can contribute ___ amount and help with decorating etc but that's it. She should have discussed this with all the bridesmaids.